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Parenting

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Dysfunctional families.

1 reply

Mamaux · 22/01/2023 08:36

To cut a long story short, my LO is nearly 1 and from late pregnancy throughout, his Dad became abusive towards me and turned into an a#£×hole. When my LO was 3 days old his dad left us and baby ended in intensive care. He hasn't had an easy start. At this time I stopped the relationship (should have done it earlier) but still allowed contact (although it was sparse as his Dad always had an excuse to not visit). At 7 months, LO kept getting injured in his care. He only saw him for 4 hours a week and I was around. He dropped him which resulted in a hospital stay. I then called children's services and stopped contact. We ended in mediation and agreed to supervised access twice a week for 2 hours. However, it had to be his family overseeing as me and my family have had enough of all the problems he causes.

His dad, LOs grandad (used lightly) also has very abusive tendencies. He has only seen LO once as was not happy with me and has had a lot to say about me behind my back. He also was paying for his son to start court proceedings against me (which has caused so much stress). They've all now fallen out, so LO can't see his Dad as there is noone to oversee contact.

Nanny contacted me asking if her and Grandad could come and see LO. I've never once said they couldn't. However, I have said only on the basis that I can have it out with "Grandad" because I'm not having that behaviour around my child and he needs to hear some home truths. Also, I don't want them dropping in and out of LOs life whenever they feel like it.

This has caused tension; as expected he wont, but I feel I am in the right here... considering his son and their whole general attitude has been disgusting. Am I wrong?

OP posts:
Jinglehop · 22/01/2023 08:48

No. Have no guilt about cutting them out whatsoever. My ex-h and his family are a bit toxic but they are not abusive, just not nice. My LO have had a hard time dealing with ex-mil’s nasty comments as they grew up and now as teenagers don’t want to see her at all. It’s caused so much pain over the years. Just protect your child and be strong about it. Nanny is presumably enabling the men in her life and doesn’t have the right to do that at the expense of your child.

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