Just how shit is my parenting, I can’t do it well

[shitpareb]

I have a three month old. I obviously feed, clean, chat to them but I hold them a limited amount compared to other mums… I will leave them to sleep or play on the mat (supervised) if not crying. I read to them every day or so for five mins. Same with tummy time.

I am an unexpectedly lone parent. I wanted to be a brilliant mother but after the nappy is changed, they’re fed and the cot is re made and a wash is on, bath done, I’ve got little left to give. I NEVER wanted to be like this but as I am doing it all I grab what time I have when they’re quiet to do my own thing. Sometimes I have skipped their bath even if I’ve had a tiring day. Similarly, there’s inevitable times they’re left to cry longer than they would be if someone else was with me in the house, for instance if they wake up when I’m in the shower or if I’m literally having to put a wash on as it dint finish in time otherwise.

I feel so guilty. I love them but constantly feel I would be a better mum if not alone and I hate that. I worry I don’t spend time interacting enough as I’m just so exhausted and probably selfish too as I just want to have an hour to myself as soon as they’re quiet. Will this affect them? Should I be doing more?

You’re doing a great job! Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You are doing amazingly on yoyr own.

I had my ds on my own most the time. I had to carry him around in a sling because he litterally would not be put down. I lived on sandwiches because i couldn't cook hot food withnhim in sling... not because i was an amazing mum. It was the easiest way to survive. We all do what works...

You sound like you are doing a great job.

Do recognise how amazing you are doing.

You're doing fine, that's standard parenting! Imagine if you had older kids, they'd get way less attention. Kids don't need all the bits like daily baths at that age anyway.