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DS friendship struggles

5 replies

User125179313 · 20/01/2023 08:26

Sorry this is a very long one....

My DS started primary with lots of friends but by the end a lot of these 'friends' seemed to dislike him. He was often the butt of the jokes and they would say mean things but my DS would still think they were his friends. I suffer from a lot of anxiety so spent the last couple of years feeling constantly worried that he has no friends and no one likes him. He started secondary in September and soon made friends with 3 boys & seemed very happy, but yesterday he told me that one of the boys has been acting off with him. He runs away whenever he see my DS coming & either ignores him at school or isn't very nice to him. They still play online together but even then, he's nice to DS when it's just the 2 of them playing but changes whenever 1 of their other friends joins. DS asked him last week why he was being like this & the boy said 'because your rude'. DS said he doesn't think he has been rude but they are both sometimes a bit rude when playing online (I've heard them & they're both guilty of it). DS doesn't seem that bothered about it but I wonder if that's because he doesn't get that this boy clearly doesn't want to be his friend anymore (DS said they are still good friends but clearly they are not). DS struggles a bit with social rules; he gets to close to people when he's talking to them, he talks over people, he doesn't pick up on when people aren't interested in what he's talking about, he'll ring someone 3 or 4 times until they pick up, and he doesn't seem to understand what a friend is. We've tried talking to him about some of these things but I still don't feel he understands. And now I'm very anxious again and thinking, doesn't anyone like him? is he happy? will he ever have any real friends? I don't know how to help him or even help myself to stop feeling so anxious about it which probably isn't helping him! Thank you if you've read this far! x

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Malsau · 18/01/2024 23:16

Hi, how is your son now? Really hope things have improved for him! My son is in year 8 and is also having friendship issues, it so tough to watch !!

User125179313 · 08/03/2024 12:53

Malsau · 18/01/2024 23:16

Hi, how is your son now? Really hope things have improved for him! My son is in year 8 and is also having friendship issues, it so tough to watch !!

Sorry I didn't see your message previously. He is in year 8 now and to be honest it just seems worse. His best friend moved away and DS spent most of his time playing online with this friend and this boy's new friends. I've seen messages were my DS seems to argue with one of the boys a lot and DS was excluded from his friend's birthday recently. It's so heartbreaking to watch them struggle and I'm at a loss about what to do! I hope your son is ok

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Malsau · 02/10/2024 22:16

My son just seems to not have the right friends for him (none of the same interests) but is finding it hard to meet new people. It’s so tough to see your child struggle !! It breaks me when he opens up to me 💔

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Malsau · 02/10/2024 22:16

I really hope things are on the up for your son 👍

User125179313 · 03/10/2024 11:13

Malsau · 02/10/2024 22:16

My son just seems to not have the right friends for him (none of the same interests) but is finding it hard to meet new people. It’s so tough to see your child struggle !! It breaks me when he opens up to me 💔

It's really good that your son opens up to you though, and that he feels he can talk to you about it. I can see when my son is upset over something but it is very hard to get him to talk to me about it. I try to encourage him to talk to different people at school and try different activities to widen his circle but I think he feels too insecure to do that. I wish I had some words of advice! I think all we can do is make sure they feel loved and safe at home, and they know they can always turn to us. It doesn't make it any less upsetting to see though when all we want is for our children to be happy...

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