AIBU to deny him contact?

[Notsurewhattod]

Me and my ex have a baby together who is nearly 1 years old.
We broke up when I was 7 months pregnant so I live with baby and he lives alone. I tried to co parent with him but he began to slowly disrespect my boundaries. For instance, when it was time for him to take baby out he would insist that he needs to come in to use my toilet. But that was just an excuse to try and sleep with me.
He also constantly criticises me and blames me for anything wrong with our baby. Even if baby catches a cold he will question why he has a cold and say it’s because his bed is too close to the window🙄🤣.
And the worst part is, he has contributed NOTHING to him. Never given me money, never bought him clothes. He has a job btw so can afford to. Bare in mind, this was a baby that we both wanted and he promised to support me. He is also inconsistent with contact and does not stick to agreed schedules, he will turn up 4 hours late and completely mess up my plans.
I appreciate the importance of a child growing up with 2 parents, and I initially did really want this. But I’m starting to feel like me and my son are better off without him.
AIBU to cut him off and if he really wants contact he can go through the courts?
Or would I be failing my child if I did this?

No you absolutely can’t cut him off. Don’t be daft.

So… money? Contact CMS

Boundaries… you meet him outside your house with baby completely ready. Or you drop off and collect.

And point blank ignore the criticism. No response, nothing.

You seriously aren't prioritising the needs of your own child to be asking such a stupid question.
Contact is about your child, not you.
You can clearly instil firm boundaries with him if you wanted to.
Don't weaponize your child to suit you.

Is there a reason why you haven’t claimed cm if he has a job?

As for him not sticking to arrangements, that is completely disrespectful of him and needs to be addressed.

I would speak to a solicitor if you have the funds available

Why did you split up?

Frustrating as I imagine it to be… it is pretty appalling you are thinking of cutting contact

Thanks all for the reality check. I’m definitely in my feelings over all this but ultimately just want to do what’s best for my child.

What @Devineursula said

@Devineursula We split up because he became abusive during my pregnancy. Not physical but emotional and financial. I truly believe he is a narcissist hence my aversion to him.

Perhaps that should have been in your OP

You need to put aside what he’s like to you

you need to contact CMS

you need to stop allowing him to use your toilet!

and you need to focus squarely on how he is caring for your very young child

@Devineursula You’re right, I need to put my feelings aside. I am definitely going to put a claim in for CMS. And change drop offs and pick ups to public places. Thank you.

It’s not pay per view so you can’t cut off contact, but you should absolutely ring the CMS today.

Can you arrange contact though a contact centre. Also if he is a narc then use grey rock method. Please contact CMS and if you need extra support and the abuse starts back call womens aid for advice and sign posting.