How do you ‘Get going’ each day

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my DD is 17 months, I had PND but don’t particularly feel low mood/depressed but I just can’t seem to get going each day. We get up and have breakfast but that’s where it stops.

the thought of getting us both dressed to go out and sometimes even the thought of showering is enough to make me want to bury my head. We have toddler class one day a week and we always manage to get there and we enjoy it, but it’s not without a struggle for me. My DD is a dream so it’s absolutely nothing to do with her.

I work a couple of nightshifts a week but tbh I don’t really have a life at the moment, DH and I do enjoy date nights but that’s really all I get up to.

How does everyone else do it? Do you have a routine or am I just broken 😔

I think just pushing through and getting out is the key.

It's one of the benefits of having an older one and a school run to do, then you have to be out at a certain and once you're up and out it's fine.

Could you sign up to some toddler classes so that you've got something you have to be at. It won't make it easier necessarily but it will.mesn.you have to do it and then you just get into the habit of getting up and out.

I found getting up and dressed asap helped give me energy for the day.

I also made sure we had plans two/three days a week, either a group, library or shopping in town and even if I could do multiple things in one day I wouldn't - just to make sure I got out most days.

Routine is key for both my son and myself.

I shower, wash hair etc on a night time when he's in bed.

Up, breakfast, abit play, get ready and we both need to get out.

Knowing we are getting out keeps me sane tbh.
Are there any other classes or groups?

We do things like;
Walk - I just walk wherever sometimes
Park
Feed ducks
Collect leaves/sticks
Soft play
Play groups
Library (these sometimes have free classes on)
On the bus (DS loves a bus)

Why don't you add one or two things into your routine...a walk to the library one day and a trip to a park another day.

Even if you are out for an hour only it's getting you out. Set the day you go and stick to it so it's your own routine. I bet there's free stuff on at the library if you wanted to attend a rhyme time or if not just go yourselves.

Morning coffee and no sitting down. I start as soon as I get up and don't let myself relax until later in the day. It's a better day if I can accomplish something (anything) early on

What happens after you have breakfast? Do you both stay in in your pyjamas?

If that’s the case, then you could still have some depression going on. I know that not being able to carry out ‘ordinary’ activities is a real warning sign for me that I’m not well.

But to answer your question, as PPs have said, it is just about pushing through, if you can. Getting a toddler and oneself out of the house does feel like a Herculean task sometimes.

Packing the bag the night before might help, as well as laying out clothes? Then there’s less to do.

It might also help to make a list that you can stick on the fridge, of all the things that need to be done to get out of the house. Then it might not feel so overwhelming and you can take it one step at a time.

take care.

Have a routine and stick to it. Don't sit down and relax or you won't get up again.

Have somewhere to go every morning and then relax a bit in the afternoon once you've done something productive.

I used to struggle but would literally force myself.
Breakfast, dressed, hair, teeth (for me and both kids) and then just get outside.

Before mine where in preschool/school we did lots of groups, classes, walks, lunch dates with friends and their kids, park days etc.
Being out of the house helps my mental health massively so I make it a priority.

The only way I can do it is by getting up and ready as soon as I get out of bed. I now have school runs so have to be up and out so I always get on with things straight after morning school run.

Thank you all so much for your replies especially as everyone has been so kind!

I’ve been thinking of getting us up and dressed straight away so that after breakfast we’re ready to go and that’s one less ‘hurdle’ for me.

There’s also a million and one things I could be doing while she has breakfast rather than sitting on my backside so I think I’ll take on board getting things done and leaving the sitting/relaxing to the afternoon

We get up and get dressed first, before breakfast. When DD was a baby I'd sometimes stay in my PJs until the afternoon, and it made me feel really low. So I started getting ready as soon as we got up, then just carried that on. At least then we're dressed and that's one hurdle completed! Then it's just a matter of putting shoes/coats on if I want or need to get out of the house. It works out well now that the DC are at school, too. They were routine babies from quite early on and it still helps now at 8 and 4, so they know that we get up and get dressed no matter what.

Try to set a reason to get out every day: a walk to the shop for something you need, a library trip, coffee with a friend or family member, baby groups. As you said once you get to the group you do go to you do find you enjoy it.... so why not try a few more? There are lots of free or cheap ones if cost is an issue. Look at Happity.

@CoodleMoodle thank you! It’s sometimes the sitting in PJ’s at 10/11/12 o’clock that really just P’s me off but at the same time I’m like WTF do I do here!

i’m gonna get her clothes (and mine!) all sorted tonight for tomorrow and we’ll both get dressed as soon as we’re up

We get dressed first and then go for breakfast. I find it so much harder after breakfast to face getting ready.

I was thinking the same as NuffSaidSam, having the school run to do is what gets me going. I know with my older DC, not having that to do, we would laze around for hours, and I felt drained all the time. I feel so much better for the walk first thing, so would really recommend it, even though you don’t have to, I find it really revitalising.

I get myself and DD dressed before we go downstairs for breakfast, I find that so much better for motivating me otherwise I’d quite happily stay in my PJs all day and do nothing 🫣😂

Do the annoying crap before breakfast.

My morning routine looks like this

~ 6:30 wake, feed DD2 (5 mo, ebf), get dressed, brush teeth, wash, get DD2 dressed, all while DH showers

~ 7 am, leave DD2 with DH, get DD1 (2 yrs) up, washed and dressed.

~ 7:20, we all go downstairs, DH and I eat breakfast while DD1 plays and DD2 chills in bouncy chair.

~ 7:50, DH off to work, taking DD1 to nursery en route.

So by 8am I am all up and ready for the day with all morning chores done. I shower and sort DD1's nursery bag in the evenings.

I don't have PND and getting up and out with my toddler still takes a massive amount of mental effort (and patience and perseverance and silent screaming).

Not trying to be dismissive at all but maybe it helps when you realise you're not alone 💐

Having something to aim for (e.g. a class) really helps

I’m the same. I don’t really have a routine either and I’m back at work party time so when I finish work and have my ‘home days’ I’m exhausted and just want to stay in and do nothing with baby.

I have 4 days at home with baby.

I now book on meet ups with other mums one day a week so I know I HAVE to go outside.

The other day I give myself permission to do very little other than housework. No pressure to go out and I can relax. I don’t feel guilty because I’ve worked 3 days and gone out 1 day. So that final day I don’t put pressure on myself

Then it’s the weekend!

Honestly, assuming there is nothing else major going on you've not mentioned, it sounds like you are depressed to me. Perhaps worth a chat with your GP?

It’s normal to feel a bit down in the dumps at this time of year - my advice (and what has helped me) is:

Get up, washed and dressed straight away each morning- don’t think about it - just do it. Then, after breakfast get out for a little walk each morning - even in this cold weather just get wrapped up and do it - I started by walking round the block and now walk for 3 miles each day and often do 10 mile walks with dh at the weekends.

Walking and getting outside is so beneficial to your mental health and is good for your little girl - point out birds etc to her as you go. You may not feel like it at first but you’ll feel exhilarated when you get home - then you can reward yourself with some nice coffee or a hot chocolate.

Providing baby doesn't need a bottle or has had a poonami I jump in the shower soon as I wake up and dress myself first, then baby/kids.
On the days I don't get to do that for some reason I seem to be far less productive