Mum is annoying me RE son

[nwbalance]

Just needed a little vent really

my mum has been amazing since we had 1yo DS , I’ve noticed though as he’s gotten older she seems less willing to have him

i get it’s as he’s more difficult (mobile needs more stimulation)
But she offered to have him on her day off work (she works 4 days) and since I returned I’ve taken so many of those off to cover her not being able to

she then told me not to allow MIL to have him one day a a week (and cut our nursery costs) because she’d flake on us!!! I had to bite my tongue

she adores him I know this but this has been bugging me lately to the point where I feel like cutting a day at work or adding the extra day at nursery whatever’s cheaper to do. I feel like she’s become unreliable and I’m so grateful for the intial offer but I can’t have a maybe for work it’s got to be yes or no :( I can’t keep taking annual leave I’m lucky I had so much because I’d been off on maternity and not taken any for the leave year

Also the comments around how I dress him are annoying and she’s always insisting on buying him expensive clothes and him being ‘trendy’
id rather him be comfy and look cute which he does in anything :) and with the rate he’s grown (very fast) and general mess toddlers put on their clothes - I like shopping in supermarkets and high street as they also wash well as well as being cost effective

sorry for the rant jut been on my mind

I feel so bad I’ve even done this but I needed to get it out🤦🏻‍♀️

I would put him in the extra day and tell her if she wants him in trendy clothes then she can buy them and there is nothing wrong with supermarket clothes I find Sainsbury's the best and it's all good for messy toddlers

I would also do the extra day in nursery.

Just smile and nod at the clothes comments. She can buy them if she wants.
(I also prefer supermarket clothes)

I love George at Asda the sizing is so good and it’s such good pricing and washes well!! Supermarkets FTW lol

im scared to do the extra day. She’ll be so annoyed with me but next leave year I can’t take that many A/L days I’m lucky I’d been on maternity and we were coming to the end of the leave year as I returned

It's not fair on your mother-in-law that she can't look after the baby.

I’ve never relied on regular family childcare for this reason it’s just hassle. If you say you’re putting him in an extra day because she hasn’t been able to do x days and you don’t have anymore leave how would she react?

i’d work out the finances of you taking the day off, if she can have him great you get a day for errands/tidying/cooking or enjoying time with both of them, if she can’t have him then you’re available.
If it’s not financially doable I’d bite the bullet and do another nursery day!

@determinedtomakethiswork Yeah I mentioned how it’d help me and DH back as it’s a different day so we’d save on nursery fees

and for some background MIL has never flaked on us whenever she’s had DS

and my mum said that. I felt a bit annoyed because I thought it wa sa rude comment when I have taken so much A/L because she’s got other things going on on her day off