School refusal.

[Picklebob123]

6 year old gets dressed fine and goes to school fine. Plays in the playground and then he will suddenly return to me whilst we wait for his siblings class to go in. When we get to his class he clings on to me, cries and says he dosnt want to go in. It is not consistent. Some days he's OK, some days are really bad. Has anyone else experienced this please? Been going on since November.

Is it always the same days, or random ones? Could be something happening on those days that makes him anxious.

With mine I have a policy of “you can take as long as you need to go forwards, but you can’t go backwards”. This gives them the security of not being rushed, but does get them in the classroom eventually.

How do the staff react?

Have you spoken to the teacher to find out if he’s struggling with anything in the classroom?

The days are completely random, I've been making note to see if I can find a pattern but there isn't one.

The teacher just comes and gets him and walks him in to settle him down. He will then go in with her OK .

That's a good policy.

They have not really spoke to me about it. I spoke to them the first week it happened and since then nothing, I don't know if he settles fine once he's in. I don't want to be the whiny parent at the gate looking worried but at the same time it would be nice to have an update.

If he’s going in okay once the teacher gets him, that’s a good sign. It might just be that some days he finds it hard to face the madness of all the kids going in together and needs a bit of support.

Can you speak to the teacher at pickup about how he settled in? Its probably just the initial part, before everyone is sitting quietly because if it was taking longer to settle him that would impact the rest of the class and they would speak to you about it.

Morning School anxiety
I am also dealing with this😪. My lil one 🙉🙉🙉. Mine are seasonal some weeks are good some weeks 😭😭😭 Bedtime counselling works
for me

As far as im aware he sometimes cries once in. Can occasionally complain of tummy ache.

I talk to him after school but I makes no difference.
How are the school able to help if I talk to the teacher?

Tummy ache is often a sign of anxiety. It’s possible the school could arrange for him to go in either early to settle before the madness, late to avoid the mad rush or via the office instead of the classroom door.

Your best bet is to make an appointment with the school SENCO, tell them you are worried about this escalating and need support and they should be able to help you.

Separation anxiety isn't rare. My DD2 struggled leaving me on and of throughout primary.

Things to try with the school:

• get there earlier and let him go straight in to do a special job
• get there later just as doors opening
• give him a transitional object to hold in his hand/pocket, either a small toy, or a cheap bracelet of yours. You can add your perfume smell to it too
• stickers for going in well building up to a treat on Friday
• go in via a different door such as school office

We always found the transitional object worked quite well.