Please help - 3 year old constantly up at night

[Hopingforbetterluck]

My just turned 3 year old has always been a good sleeper and I know we’ve been very lucky in that respect.
The last few weeks he gets out of bed constantly. It’s not too bad on an evening, I’ve been putting him back in bed with very little interaction and he goes to sleep eventually but he’s doing it in the middle of the night too, sometimes for hours on end.

I’m shattered and due to give birth any day now so I’m at my wits end with no idea how to solve this. He has a gate across his door, a night light, a gro clock. If he just got up and played in his room I’d leave him to it but he comes to the gate and cries and shouts for us. He wants tucking back in, wants his Ewan the sheep turning back on, wants his nose and eyes wiped etc etc. I tried leaving him one night but he just got more and more hysterical - anyone dealt with something similar and solved it? He’s a fairly stubborn child so I’ve persisted with returning him to bed but if anything he’s getting worse and the thought of dealing with this and a newborn is worrying me a bit!

We're in the middle of it at the minute with DS2, currently I'm sleeping on a spare mattress on his bedroom floor from his first wake up, which has slowly crept from being 10pm to now around 1am.

DS1 went through the exact same thing around a similar age, and it seemed to be completely developmental - at the same time he grew loads seemingly overnight, his speech and imagination exploded too. It really feels/felt like a separation anxiety/development thing.

It lasted just over 7 weeks with DS1, we're 3 weeks in with DS2 now.

@QforCucumber I had thought it must be developmental and am trying to bare with it. I doubt me sleeping in his room is going to be feasible with a newborn. Did it just eventually stop after a few weeks with your first? It’s just really bad timing and I’ve a feeling it’s only going to get worse for a while once the baby arrives.

Anyone got any ideas about this? I’m getting desperate now. DS was up at least every half an hour if not more from midnight last night. I could do with just a couple of hours solid sleep before I have to give birth! Not to mention it can’t be doing him any good at all, he looks absolutely shattered today, really pale with dark rings round his eyes bless him.

We had this with DD just before she turned 3 when I was pregnant and just after baby was born; in the end we just let her come into our bed and luckily we had the space for me to sleep in a different room with our baby and she just stopped after a few weeks

Sticker chart? Both mine went through this phase. We did the no interaction return to bed but also had a sticker chart.

They got a sticker for spending the night in their bed. Collect 7 and they got a treat of some kind.

Worked first night for both. My second is also very stubborn but that girl will do anything for a sticker. The first night we did it she put herself into bed and I could see the determination to get that sticker.

What is his favourite thing? Is it spending time one on one with you? If so then there is a possibility that you are rewarding his wake ups with one on one mummy time (even if you are grumpy and exhausted he could still see it as positive reinforcement). If you think this is the case then make sure there is more mummy time in the day and make sure when you help him in the night it is literally just put him back in bed say night time and leave.

@Lkydfju we tried letting him in our bed when it first started happening but he didn’t go back to sleep, just jumped all over us and chattered for hours!

@Twizbe thanks, I’ll give this a go. Sticker charts never worked when we were potty training and his communication isn’t great for his age so I’m not sure how much he understands the concept but I’m willing to try anything at this stage.

@Geneticsbunny I think you might be right with the positive reinforcement. I make sure I don’t speak to him or look at him and just put him straight back but I think he’s just got into the habit of knowing I’ll come in as soon as he’s up and he was laughing last night the last few times I went in. Everything I’ve read about putting them back in bed suggests it should improve in days but it’s been weeks now and he’s getting worse not better so might have to re-think this strategy.
He is getting plenty of one on one with me during the day as I’m on mat leave and it’s just me and him. I’ve still been taking him to soft play, swimming and out for lunch etc but maybe he understands things are about to change and needs some extra reassurance. I’m just at a loss as like he’s always been a great sleeper and this is all new to me!

Following we are going through this as well with DD. I’m also heavily pregnant wonder if there’s a link…

After 5 weeks DS2 is finally coming out of the other side now - tbf the marching back to bed and leaving them there doesn't and hasn't helped with either of ours, they're small and feeling alone and a bit scared. They don't understand why they can have lots of time and cuddles in the day but at night-time you refuse it.

DS2 will go back to sleep as long as one of us is with him, if we leave he's awake hourly looking for us. His first wake up though has moved back from 10pm to now 2/3am - This week we bought him a single bed so now DH or I just climb in with him at whatever time that wake up is and he's back asleep until 7ish.

It is so so hard - is it just you whos dealing with this or is there a partner/DH to share with?

@QforCucumber i agree, putting him back to bed isn’t working so it’s time to try something different. He’s in a tiny box room in a toddler bed - if I had more time before the baby was due I’d absolutely sleep on his floor but I’m due today, being induced by the end of the week and I can’t see how I can sleep in his room and look after a baby.

Unfortunately DH is less than helpful. He will get up once or twice if I ask but then just refuses to help, even though I’m 9 months pregnant and he knows I’m exhausted. He can’t deal with lack of sleep and wouldn’t even help on a weekend when DS was tiny even though he worked away during the week so was getting his sleep then. I’m under no illusion that he’ll be any better this time so I’ll effectively be dealing with it alone.

Is he still in a nappy at night? This might sound really stupid but our daughter would never settle because she would poo when she was in bed. Now I have to put her down and then check on her in half an hour or so to see if she needed changing

@EmilyBreen yes he’s still in a nappy on a night but he tells me when he’s done a poo in it on a night. Last night he did a poo while getting ready for bed and I’d already put a clean pull up on him.