I keep being told that my baby will nap for longer than half an hour one day. She's nine months old and it still hasn't happened yet.

[Pugletpops]

Unless I hold her, she will only do thirty minutes. I have tried everything apart from CIO. In her cot, the moving car or pram, thirty minutes. In my arms on the sofa, two hours.

She sleeps brilliantly through the night but I need a break during the day. I have tried blackout curtains, white noise, sleep suit. Ferber, a schedule, following her sleepy cues. Increasing wake windows, shortening them. Today I kept her awake from her 7.20am wake up and her first nap was 11.30am, nope, still only thirty minutes. I've tried wake to sleep, resettling her, waiting for twenty eight minutes and then shushing her into the next cycle. I've tried crib hour. Her nappy is changed, she is not due a feed, the temperature is fine. Nothing. Dummy in her mouth, spare in the cot. I ended up obsessing over the perfect nap cycle and often cried every day from exhaustion so just had to accept one independent half hour nap, and one long contact nap on the sofa.

Any one have a baby like this? Her cousin, who is two weeks older, will do long independent naps but sleeps badly through the night. Should I just pick my battles and be happy she sleeps 8pm - 7.20am and very rarely wakes in the night?

I'd say to pick your battles and not mess around with napping if she sleeps through. At least with getting sleep at night you probably have more everyday to deal with a baby that is mostly awake, and if your have a long contact nap, you can catch up with chores in the evening if needed, which you can't really do it they are still waking hourly.

My dd never really napped until she was a toddler. I accepted it as she slept through the night from an early age.

Are you managing to get good quality sleep yourself? If she sleeps brilliantly at night, why are you crying with exhaustion in the day? Unless it’s her that’s crying with exhaustion, and I read it wrong.

I have a 4 month old who has only catnapped since birth and contact naps. I watch box sets or read a book to feel like I’m having some down time. When I’ve got 3.5 year old DS at home too I have to put DS2 in a carrier. He doesn’t go down for the night until at least 9pm either. If she is sleeping through and you have some time to yourself in an evening and 30 minutes in the day then this sounds ideal to me! Chances are her naps will eventually lengthen when she goes down to one nap but even if not, it won’t be forever.

My elder didnt do more than 30mins until 14 months. It was a bugger! And right up until she dropped her nap at 2 and a half she needs help - so walks in the pram until she's been out for more than 30mins I held in my arms (but after a year i could she her into the sofa after 30mins and get 2hours of hands-free time!). Im afraid some babies aren't great nappers.

Try not to obsess. Honestly you can be so worked up about a perfect napping schedule, but if your baby has different needs.....

DS didn’t consistently nap for more than 37 minutes until he was over 1. Probably started intermittently napping for 1.5h at 10 months, but it was very hit and miss. Sorry, I hear you re: how hard it is. But goodness I wouldn’t touch anything given how good your nights are.

Most nights I sleep OK. It's just that she needs to be rocked to sleep and then transferred, a process that takes a while and by the time I leave her in the cot I have less than fifteen minutes to myself before she's up again! But actually your comment has made me realise I'm trying to have all my cake and eat it.

Re the crying, her sleep (or lack of) is a huge trigger for me. If she doesn't nap or I fail to get her to sleep I get very stressed out and angry and have had to leave the room with her safe in the cot so I can let my frustration out. I just want more than fifteen minutes to use the loo and have a coffee and put some laundry on!

DS3 only naps 30-45 mins and I can stretch that longer if he's on me but I just tend to accept the short naps TBH. He is over 1 and it's never got longer. If he ever naps more than an hour I know he's ill.

Would she sleep longer in a buggy? You can try a little trick of going at the 25 min mark and then just pushing her back and forth for ~10 mins to try and get her over the hump.

Does she ever play with toys in the room with you sitting nearby? That is when I do things like drink coffee and go on MN or stare blankly into space 9 months is a good age for this as they can often sit up. Try setting up some toys and then just sit back and let her explore them.

I tend to put laundry on with them "helping" at this age. Also developed a speed wee so I can be in and out before they get into anything troublesome.

Honestly nap time is precious! I tend to use it to shower or I nap myself. I wouldn't waste it on laundry and going for a wee. If napping yourself sounds attractive you could also try lying down in your own bed with her and just staying there when she falls asleep.

What are your plans to go back to work? You may find that it's a nice break from all this and she either settles better for someone else or they find a get around that works for them (my youngest slept better because of all the noise of the older ones and I had less time anyway, with the first I was always hovering)

Anyhow, mine all stopped napping completely by 14 months so only a few more months to go maybe

My third dc only napped for a half hour here and there right from birth, though she slept well at night. She gave up naps completely before she was two. It was a shock for me because my first two napped for at least 2 to 3 hours a day, right up to age 3.5/4.

Mine were all breastfed and woke constantly at night , I can’t even imagine a 6 month old sleeping well at night 😂
tbh any of my friends with good night sleepers either formula fed or their babies barely napped at all during the day. Sounds like yours might be the latter. If your baby is sleeping well at night maybe they don’t need much sleep during the day. Mine did as when they didn’t nap they’d sleep even worse at night as they would be over tired but it sounds like your baby is getting what they need. If you think about it loads of 6 months olds wake at night a few times and night nap more but yours sleeps well at night and doesn’t need to nap so it’s probably one of the other.

• 9 months Tbh being woken up all night is hell so while it is frustrating that you can’t do much you might need to accept that’s they way it is. She might sleep or nap better once she’s moving but then might start to wake at night. As a parent of 12 years things change constantly with dcs. I had terrible sleepers but good nappers . However I tried cutting the naps as even though it was a lovely break I thought it was causing the night wakes , it didn’t work. I definitely would take good night rest over naps . Maybe try and have some time once they are in bed for the night unless you have other kids ?

Ds1 only ever had half hour naps during the day, whether that was when he was having two naps a day or when he dropped to just one. Still only ever half an hour.

He did sleep all night at night (illness, teething excepted), but has always been a very early riser. Still the same at 15yo.

I think that if this is the type of baby you have, it is very difficult to do anything about it. I do sympathise. The only occasions DS1 ever slept longer in the day is if we had been swimming. He would fall asleep in the pushchair on the way home (pool was local so we would walk) and stay asleep in the pushchair. And then maybe he would sleep for an hour. I still haven’t forgiven the neighbours who took a chainsaw to their conifers one day when we were walking home and woke him up and this is 13 years ago 😂

I was just about to post my own thread about naps and just seen yours. My 6 month old doesn’t nap AT ALL unless I take him out in the pram and even then I’ll need to be walking with him for 1 hour at least. Once finally asleep he will wake again within 40 mins. I haven’t been out for the last couple of days as I’ve been trying to focus on cleaning and tidying the house and he’s done nothing but SCREAM. I wouldn’t even mind if he would nap on me but he won’t!

Overnight he wakes every 2 hours and I have to breastfeed him back to sleep. I’ve tried everything to get him to take a nap at home and I just cannot handle to screaming and stress anymore. It’s got the point where I’ve texted my mum as I don’t think I can be a mum anymore. I’m thinking to just forget about naps from now on and just pretend he doesn’t need them as it’s making my life a misery and I can’t do another day of spending hours trying to get him to nap!

Sorry to bring my misery to your post OP but just want you to know that you aren’t alone with the napping struggles. I hear it gets better and I think I will resign myself to the fact that there’s not much more I can do, and maybe as babies grow it will all sort itself out x

I had one who catnapped in the day and woke several times a night until she was 2.5. At that point she had given up the daytime 'naps' altogether. It was a really rough two and a half years. She was very cranky too because her sleeping was so awry.

My baby was like that. She finally settled on one nap...sometimes an hour, sometimes two (but she's 14 months now). Prior to that she only contact napped.

How did you manage this? I'm worried she'll just stick to one thirty minute nap a day if I try!

I have one of these. My baby girl is 11.5 months old and never napped for more than 20 minutes (contact or not) until a couple of weeks ago. Always woke up perfectly happy, just napped more often. She's started having 45 in the morning and a couple of hours in the afternoon now. She is a very good night sleeper though.

In contrast, my first had to be woken from his 3x 2-3 hour naps (he would be very cross) but woke every 45 minutes overnight. He still doesn't sleep through at 4...

DS1 was like that.

I went back to work when he was six months. He just napped on the go with the CM. Always slept through at night so I didn't really care TBH.

When I had DS2, DS1 was a toddler so there was no holding for naps. He went in the cot or pram to do what he wanted and sometimes it was long, sometimes it was short.

I'll warn you now DS1 is autistic and fights bedtime. He can easily stay up until 11pm. 😬

Well my DD is 10 months old and will nap independently for zero minutes! So it could be worse!

Mine only napped for 30 mins at a time, twice a day, from around 5 months until around 1.5. He then started having 1 x 1 hour nap per day, by 2 it was more like 1.5 hours and he dropped it completely at 3.

My dd used to nap really well in the car, I used to pack a book, tea in a flask and a snack and go for a short drive then sit in the car while she slept. She still always sleeps well, I think some children are just sleepier than others.

@Pugletpops I’ve just found your thread as I was searching on the topic and I could have written your post word for word…

I wondered how things progressed for you on the nap front? Did it get easier in time?

I can count the number of times my baby napped longer than 10 mins on one hand 😔 It sounds like you’ve just got a really un-nappy child. You’re just going to have to mentally prepare and mourn the life you thought you’d get unfortunately. It took me way too long to come to this realisation but the faster you get there the easier it is. Just keep the baby busy and as active as you can.

No harm or developmental issues came to my baby as a result of probably napping for a total of 9 hours during the first year 😂 It’s brutal though as you don’t have time to do anything when other mums are pottering* about with a coffee enjoying their 2 hours breaks 😑

Mine started doing longer naps 2 weeks before I went back to work at 10 months old. Then had a 2 hour nap a day until 3 years old.