background - 2 step children (10 & 14) me & husband been together 9 years have a 6 year old together.
Always had a good relationship with the girls always had them every friday & saturday day & when they were a little younger they came x2 in the week for their tea, they have their own room at our house & they’ve always came on every holiday & husband has shared appointments such as opticians, dentist, attended parents evening all the normal parent stuff - he’s always paid CSA on time & paid extra towards uniform & trips etc … he’s a good Dad (although i know all this is the bare minimum of what us mums do!!). 14 year old gets friends to stay over when she wants & her friends live locally to us not mums.
anyway, recently things are not going well with 14 year old, she’s becoming increasingly difficult, getting detention, doing poorly on tests, fights, not doing homework, lying (to us & to mum about anything & everything). Problems - husbands ex & husband have very different parent styles (no judgment on who is right i think they’re both wrong but not my business) … husband as harsh mum as laid back …both parents do not unite over issues & have poor relationship therefore what happens is 14 year old does something bad …. goes to mums house ignores phone calls from dad & does not come to our house for weeks … husband calls ex to inform her of 14 year olds behaviour ex says it’s not her problem & life goes on & child evades any wrong doing … it’s now got to the point where she’s stopped coming as she says her dad is too strict .. she’s allowed to stay up all night at her mums, drink alcohol on the weekends, be late for school, do no homework etc & my husband feels he can do nothing to change anything…. as it’s her mums house so her rules.
Now he is left with a child who doesn’t want to see him, ignores his phone calls …what can he do?