’m posting this in the hopes it helps someone looking for advice about the Ferber method. I apologise in advance for how long the post will be! Some background - DS is formula fed, had to be rocked/held and have bum patted to go to sleep. We coslept from 4 months with sidecar cot. Several night wake ups. Bedtime routine of bath, pjs, sleep bag, bottle, bed in place from 5 months. Due to cosleeping I was sitting next to him after he fell asleep until I went to bed myself.
We did lots of research into this method and at 7 months we decided to try it. We put the side back on the cot and moved the cot to the end of our bed (his bedroom being decorated still). We carried on with our usual bedtime routine as normal. We adapted the method slightly and went in at 1 minute, then 2 minutes etc but only at proper crying. When we go in, we’ve only been shushing and patting his bum, we haven’t picked him up. We never left him longer than 5 minutes to cry. (For this post the ‘interventions’ is when we had to go in and settle him)
Night 1 - it took him 50 minutes to settle 7.10-8pm, only making small noises and not proper cries. he became upset between 8-9pm but only 2 interventions when the crying happened. He woke for a bottle at 1am and fell back asleep with small murmurs till 6.15am.
Night 2 - he was very cross for about 1 hour, 6 interventions in total and DP settled him in the end, he then slept 8.30pm - 5am, had a bottle at 5, went back to sleep till 8am (the best night since he was born)
Night 3 - it was a later bedtime due to an overrun nap as we were out. Put down at 9pm, 2 interventions as we had proper crying, asleep by 9.15pm, woke up at 4am, popped dummy back in, fell asleep till 7.30am
Night 4 - we skipped the bath part of our routine tonight, put down at 7.10, 1 intervention, he was asleep by 7.30pm but awake at 7.50, just babbling, went in twice around 8ish, asleep again by 8.30, woke 10.30, had bottle and Calpol and a cuddle before going back in the cot (as he’s teething), he then slept till 5, bottle at 5.15, slept till 8.30am
Then it was night 5. However on this day I decided to try the method for his afternoon nap so put him down at 2pm after a bottle, put his sleep bag on, curtains shut, music on, there was no crying and in 15 mins he was asleep and he had 90 min nap and woke up very smiley and happy………..Night 5 - bedtime was slightly earlier as there was no third nap following his 90 min afternoon nap so he was definitely tired! Put down at 6.38pm. Asleep by 7pm, 2 interventions only because he dropped the dummy twice, there was no crying, also tonight we left baby monitor on and went downstairs for first time in 7 months, kept checking on him every 30 minutes, he woke at 1am for a bottle, went back to sleep till 5, he woke up and wasn’t settling (I think due to teething) so he had cuddles in bed with us till 7am.
Night 6 - (he had his afternoon nap in the cot today too) no bath tonight but bottle, pjs, sleep bag and he sleepy talked to himself and was asleep within 10 minutes. NO INTERVENTIONS!!! Slept from 7.20pm till 3.30am. He then babbled to himself for 30 minutes before a bottle. Had a bottle at 4 but was still awake at 5.15 so I did pick him up and bum pat to sleep before putting him back in the cot. Slept till 8am.
Night 7 - no interventions, went down and fell asleep within 10 mins. Woke up 4.30am for a bottle, went to sleep 5am till 7am.
We have been doing this now for nearly 2 weeks and he just babbles to himself for 10 minutes or so before falling asleep. He’s also having more naps in the cot during the day.
I really hope this post helps a sleep deprived parent like we were in teaching their baby to self settle. I have been really honest in his wake ups/timings/etc.
It has been an absolute game changer for us. Aside from the odd night due to teething where he was picked up and given a cuddle, this method has been amazing.
There will always be the negative comments about this method but we never left DS longer than 5 minutes to cry. He is a happy, content baby in the day and gets lots of love and cuddles from us.
We did adapt the timings slightly and didn’t follow the proper timings but what we did worked for us, we not only have our evenings back but our bed back and DS can settle himself to sleep which was our main goal of doing this as he will be moving into his own room soon. So if anyone reading this is thinking of trying it I would say just try it for a week or two. I appreciate this method isn’t for everyone but just wanted to share our experience for anyone who is thinking of trying it. I didn’t think it would work but we were consistent and stayed strong and our little one has surprised us in how quickly he’s picked this up.
Thank you for reading if you’re still here! No negative comments please - this is in support of this method to help other parents 💐