What to do in this situation.

[Twobirdsonegiantstone]

So I split up with DP as he was quite abusive and coercive in many ways.

My issue here now is he's quit his job so he doesn't have to pay any child support, but also refuses to have the children more than one evening every Wednesday - and that's only from 4:00-7:30pm.

He's got a cash in hand job scaffolding that he works 'full time' for during the week.

So, I work within the NHS and currently paying around £2700 a month for childcare with no help. The only help I received was from MIL who did the wrap around care for free and looked after them weekends (3 DC). Now DP has told her she absolutely isn't to look after the kids as it's helping me and I don't deserve it.

I have been offered a job 250 miles away in my home town; where my parents can help with childcare and significantly lower my outgoings making it more affordable to live. But I'm aware the children have a right to see their dad and live close by - even if he chooses not too see them. He's saying he'll take me to court if I attempt to move, but I'm at a loss what to do. I can't afford to stay in this city with no help, for him to see his kids every now and again.

I'd move.

I'm just worried if I get women's aid involved they'll automatically involve social services

Erm no social services wouldn't be informed or involved as he doesn't seem to have the DC alone and he hasn't abused them?

@RandomMess thank you. I think I've read too many horror stories about them on here

Never abused them. And when they go on an evening they go to his mothers anyway.

Why nor take him to mediation. Explain the predicament- he isn't contributing so you can't afford to stay. There are 3 options as you see it:

1. he does the childcare while you work. - if he says he is at work the surely he should be contributing
2. you have 50/50 arrangement- set days. Then you only pay 50% of childcare and can stay where you are.
3. you move away where you can afford to live and he has the kids 1 to 2 full weeks a month. But agreed now and stuck to. (Obviously you are happy with less but are not moving away to stop him seeing the kids).

(Option 4 is he steps up, pays maintenance and let's GM help out).

You are amazing working full 5ime with 3 under 5. I am in awe of you managing.

Call his bluff - he is horrible.