Can’t Cope

[Rowlie]

I am not coping with my 16mo DS. For at least the past month he whines and moans constantly. He’s up at night and won’t nap properly. I’ve moved him to 1 nap as he was refusing first but often he’ll sleep under 2 hours and wake up moaning and whining, and so the cycle begins again.

It’s making me so miserable. I dread spending time with him. Apparently he is happy at my mum’s and childminder where he goes in the week (I work 4 days per week). He is utterly miserable with me. We do lots of activities, playgroups etc. He’s very bright and well stimulated but I just cannot deal with the constant whining anymore.

I give ibuprofen/calpol incase teething and makes no difference. I don’t think this behaviour can be purely down to teeth anyway.

is this normal for a 16mo because it certainly doesn’t feel it. I’m not exaggerating when I say every day is the same.

they can be hard work. Have you tried a bit of babysigning? He might be frustrated that he cant communicate. The only other option is to ignore wining, then make a huge fuss and say "well done! WHat a lovely voice!" when he is more cheerful

@Nimbostratus100 thanks for your reply. I haven’t tried baby sign i honestly don’t think i have the time or energy. He is trying to communicate but doesn’t have any real words yet.

i’m losing my temper a lot because I just cannot cope. It is absolutely draining listening to the whining constantly.

That does not always work but try and be super loving with him for a day and see whether his "bucket" is refilled!

Is her overtired? What does his week look like? Could he be doing too many activities and need some downtime to just play with toys and stay at home?

Sounds like he could be overtired. What happens if you just chill out with him for a day?

Remember that your his safe space, so he may be 'happy' at other peoples houses, but with you he's comfortable,
He may simply want to communicate but cannot, so whines instead as that's what he can do - and he might just have a lot he wants to say to you!

Have you ever looked at 'wonder weeks'? Baby's go through developmental leaps, and wonder weeks is an app that explains them - with his age he could be going through leap 10, I'll add screenshots of leap 10 from my app, but when they're going through the 'leaps' - they get whiny, unsettled, sleep poorly etc,
But if you look online at them, you should find activities you can do with him to help him, and reading about them helps you remember, they have so so much to learn and understand, it can be overwhelming for them xx

I remember finding this age very challenging with my DS. He didn’t really have any words bar mama, dada, Hiya so couldn’t make his meanings clear. I felt we went from one tantrum to another, and after being a very gentle baby he became very possessive with toys and rough with other children. It really did upset me.

If it helps, by 19 months he was delightful. Still very energetic but so so much easier as he could talk a bit more. Still the odd tantrum but they were moments rather than one tantrum ending and one beginning. He is now 2 years and one month and not too difficult really! Relentless and exhausting but just in the sense that he likes to bring toys and books to me (which is cute but you know …) but he doesn’t whinge or tantrum much.

He has decided naps are for wimps, though!

How often do you go for walks etc?

When my little one gets overwhelming, I put him in the pram, get myself a flask of coffee and just walk,
He often goes quiet and enjoys looking at everything, and usually will fall asleep, but it's nice for me to clear my head too!