BLW Advice

[SleeplessonSettee]

I’m BLW my first born, she’s now 7mo.

I have been careful to follow the NHS advice re: allergens and choking hazards etc but I am wondering if I generally have it “right” in terms of my system. Breastmilk is still her main source of nutrition.

So basically, I give her everything and anything, (apart from honey, salt and added sugar,) and she eats it with her hands. Whatever we’re cooking / eating, I usually siphon some off and give her that.

Cutlery is provided when needed and usually played with first and then flung. (I don’t mind that.) Then she goes wild on the food. Hands plunged into everything - even yoghurt and hummus.

Since plates are also flung, I plop it straight on her board. She has a catch-all bib to mitigate mess.

If we’re eating something wildly unsuitable, like a hot curry, she just has some picky bits from fridge.

She bloody loves food and she’s getting really really good at getting it into her mouth now. I’m seeing evidence of it in her nappies too.

My mother in law is an expert in early years, but is actively anti-BLW. We did attempt to do some whilst visiting her over Christmas, but she wasn’t happy with the mess. She also thinks it’s wrong that baby “chokes” on food and thinks it isn’t teaching my daughter how to swallow. She’s also worried my daughter will not learn how to use cutlery. MIL advocates classic spoon feeding, full time.

I like my MIL and I’m not gunning for her or looking to be mean about her. I’m just wondering if this is purely a difference of opinion or whether there is something in the BLW that I am doing wrong? Because I don’t have any intention of switching to full time spoon feeding. I’ve done it a bit (for example, out of respect for mess in her home, I am now doing it at MIL’s) but it’s a faff and I have to blend stuff up which I just cba with.

Should I be mixing in some spoon feeding? Is there something else I should be doing to “teach swallowing”.

I can’t find answers to my more detailed concerns online. Only guides that I have already been following. I thought I might get some advice from other mums.

Please be nice. Thanks!!

Wean the way that works for you.

Neither is better, a mix is fine, one or the other is fine.

Tbh, I hated the mess of BLW so did prefer to spoon feed. I also had a child with allergies / weight issues that meant BLW wasn't suitable.

However you wean a child, they get to about 1 and decide all food has to be beige anyway lol. It really doesn't matter at all.

I did a mix of both, but what you're doing sounds fine to me, as long as the food is soft enough and you're following choking guidelines etc etc. Babies teach themselves how to swallow by doing it over and over, so gagging is okay. Ask your HV if you're uncertain, not your (well-meaning, I'm sure) MIL.

I spoon fed my son right from the start. He's currently eating pasta with his hands, while his ready loaded spoon (that he can use very well) lies forgotten.

Babies do not need to be taught to swallow. If you can see food in her nappies, then she is swallowing it. Mess is just part of the learning.

You're not doing it wrong. Spoon feeding is also fine. Keep encourgaing the use of the spoon, but if a 7 month is eating at all then I'd call that a big win

I did exactly as you've described with my two. They both learnt to use cutlery and eat perfectly nicely now as older children. You're not doing anything wrong, so don't feel like you should be pushed into spoonfeeding by your MIL.

No reason you have to blend to spoon feed at her house. You could just spoon feed little pieces- my daughter is BLW (11m now) but sometimes is lazy and refuses to feed herself! So she has been spoon fed things like curry or pasta from time to time. She is always spoon fed porridge and yogurt as she won't do them with her hands.
Just in the last couple of months she has started to really get the hang of a preloaded spoon so that might be an option moving forwards but it is still pretty messy

You’re not doing it wrong but when your mil did it she will have been told to spoon feed. Either is fine or even a mix of both. Do what suits you but I guess it is respectful to spoon feed at her house to avoid mess.

What you're doing sounds fine. I didn't bother with cutlery that age personally - one less thing to be thrown! Suction bowls and plates are great but on the tray is also fine. And yes fine to give whatever you're eating, I wasn't going to start cooking loads of extra stuff - no time! I would steam several days worth of veg at a time when cooking a pan of pasta, then keep in the fridge and add to meals as needed. Our baby flat out refused purées and was determined to use her hands so the only spoon feeding that happened was yoghurt!

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly. At that age DS only got fed yoghurt and porridge with a spoon. Everything else was finger food, even things like fish pie. Both my mum and my MIL had a shower curtain at their houses. Put it down while they eat and it's easy to scoop up all dropped food. 😊

My son would not pick up most food so I had to spoon feed. He's 2 now and eats more independently but has never been one to stick his hands into things and get really messy.

I also couldn't face the mess at each meal and couldn't afford the waste of food, even if he had liked it more!

However my little niece is really happy to pick food up and chomp away so I think do what works for your child and you! I do see her struggling to swallow and gagging but she seems OK- my son wouldn't have been and was sometimes sick on lumpier food.

We did blw when DD was 6 months and she mainly used her hands but we did introduce cutleries as well - we would preload fork and spoons and only feed them to baby if she wanted it (we followed her cue and never forced or tricked her to open her mouth). Now at 18 months, she uses cutleries just fine but often times still opts to use her hands.

You could try packing a splash mat to your MIL’s house if that helps with the mess! Assuming your MIL is in her 50s/60s, it’s most likely spoon feeding was the norm and advised. Many still believe this is the way it should be so I can’t fault MIL for her way of thinking but that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong! You’re doing what’s right for your child ☺️

Why on Earth would you go backwards and introduce spoon feeding? Jeez

We blw because I have food issues and I tried my best with the dds to make food as chilled out as possible. And when I saw the difference I really I could never be arsed with that purée performance.

I have nothing to compare it to though as I did the same with both babies.

Dds are 13 and 10 and seem to cope with cutlery! Mind you I can sort of see the benefit in transition from you holding the soon to them holding it then loading it themselves though I'm sure they would feed with hands in between anyway.

Thanks to everyone for your responses.

@pastypirate I was just asking for some advice. Jeez. 🤷🏻‍♀️

you’re doing great ❤️

@pastypirate spoon feeding isn't going backwards.

I've found there is so much judgement around weaning it's unbelievable. It's worse that breast vs bottle.