2.5 year old hitting and difficult behaviour

[Itsmeitscathyivecomehome]

I know the terrible twos are a thing but I need help.

My DD is exactly two and a half and since about 26 months old her behaviour has been really difficult. She throws tantrums which we deal with pretty well and never last too long, but the real problem is hitting. It seems to happen out the blue and she goes from 0 to 100. Usually during transition times eg leaving grannys house or getting in the car seat or getting dressed or if I have to move her from something unsafe.

At the moment if she hits, I put her down and say I won’t let you hit me or if she keeps going at me I move away/try to restrain her hands slightly to keep myself safe. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this? It has persisted for months and is really starting to upset me.

I’ve tried giving time warnings for transitions and distracting her with toys/snacks to make transitions more smooth, but I still end up getting a smack round the head almost days 😢

She also is a nightmare to get dressed, arches back going in car seat, pushes every boundary I give her, runs off when out walking won’t even look back.

I know a lot of these behaviours are age appropriate and to be expected but I’m finding it tough going (I’m also 36 weeks pregnant).

Any advice really welcome x

I should also add her speech is pretty much fluent so I don’t think she frustrated. It’s more like an uncontrollable flash of anger and wanting her own way all the time x

I found Janet Lansbury amazing for this sort of thing. She’s got a Facebook page if you’re on there, and a book called No Bad Kids. It’s practical, insightful and really easy to read and implement.

They are called the terrible twos for a reason. Some DC can be a real nightmare around this age. All I can say is be consistent. Reward good and equally punish bad. I always have a chat with my youngest who is a similar age. I explain what we are doing and the behaviour I expect. I also say what nice thing we are doing later. For example when taking away from something good I will say. If you are nicely behaved then we will return to it later. If not it will be put away. 9/10 my DC will behave but obvious they are children and not perfect. As for the biting I would explain and say how much it hurts.
good luck.

I used to leave my DD age 2 to it and just leave the room

I then tried a different tactic of holding her very tight and covering her face in kisses to confuse her

That might be tricky in your condition but it worked and she soon calmed down

I just figured she was confused about life so I just did the kissing face thing - action no words kind of thing

Ours is similar altho i hope just over the hitting phase,what helped was complete consistency,using a visual sign for no hitting and made it a definite rule.always repeating it all when calm so she knows the rules and why(it's owey and no one will play with you etc etc).we do alot of talk about emotions and she has an emotions board from Amazon which helps.the bing episode where they put their anger in a cloud helped (tea party one I think?) helped,and we talk through things we see on TV or in books when emotions are shown or hitting etc.just took time and consistency.she likes having rules she can see(even though can't read) it's as though they are definite rules she has to follow,so likes that soft play has the rules displayed and has never hit at soft play,she knows shed be taken home immediately if she hit there as she saw it happen to a friend.

Our DD went through a phase of hitting us when frustrated or angry around 3/4...it lasted a good while on and off but it tapered off last summer after she turned 5 and has compeltely stopped in the last 6 months or so.For her, she just needed to learn more impulse control....trying to redirect the anger didn't work as she just 'saw red' only thing I think is to try and reduce the triggers where possible, but sometimes it just isn't.Sorry not very helpful but just know that it is normal behaviour and it won't last forever.