Separated from DH 6 months ago.
Me and the children are in the original family home which has just gone up for sale. We will be splitting the equity and both buying our own homes.
ExDH is living with his parents, but has recently come to stay here with us for w weeks, after a burst pipe caused a lot of damage in the house so there is a lot of work going on. His parents are staying with relatives and as ex DH and I are civil, I saw no issue for him to stay with us temporarily as it is the easiest way for him to spend time with the children.
I recognise and understand that his life is much more difficult than mine at present as he's had to leave the family home, but his parenting is awful. I used to think he was a good Dad and he was definitely different to how he is now on the whole. When my daughter commented on how grumpy he is with them during mornings and bedtimes (the only times he sees them during the week), I commented that it is probably because he's having to stay here temporarily due to the burst pipe.
She told me that, no, Daddy is always this grumpy with them and that he shouts at them all the time when they have been staying with him at his parents house 2-3 times a week.
This morning, he was just barking orders at them. They are good children and although they will drag the mornings out a little, they will always do as we ask of them eventually. His Dad was similar when he was growing up, he says he was always snapping at him and his sibling and that he had a short fuse. He vowed never to become like that and I can see that is exactly what has happened.
It's like he doesn't enjoy being a parent and I'm concerned about the damage this may be causing. He doesn't really smile at them, when they show him something he barely acknowledges it. He stares into space when they're showing him a new dance routine or a song they've learned. He was a better parent when we were together although I saw elements of this miserable parenting at times, but nothing like the past few days.
He's stubborn and if I bring this up with him, he'll only attack me back, raking up any of my own parenting wrong-doings over the years so I really don't know how to handle this? My children deserve better than a father who is miserable with them all the time. If I suggest he sees them less, he won't like that either!