Sleep training a 8 month old okay?

[Helena1993]

I'm asking people who have done it.

No, but Ferber/controlling crying is.

I don't judge anyone for resorting to sleep training - speaking from first hand experience, I know how debilitating sleep deprivation is - but I don't understand why people think controlled crying isn't cry it out (assuming that's what you mean).

Yes, you might be checking on them at set intervals, but you are still leaving them to cry.

Because you are regularly letting them know you are there and will always come back.

I don’t know what to tell you. My daughter will always, always call or cry for me if she needs me. You have your opinion, I have my experience.

This has really irked me. Save your sadness for babies who are actually neglected please. My DD falls asleep holding my hand every night. My DS is with me or his dad every waking minute, being cuddled and adored. Neither of my children is in the slightest way "ignored". There were 3 nights where they learnt to self settle, with regular reassurance from me, and now we all get a decent night's sleep.

Parents' health and well-being matters too. You can't fill from an empty cup.

I'm in the process of trying (probably a loose version as I've not read the book) pick up, put down sleep training with my nearly 8 month old. Essentially I'm trying to put down and shush, they cry, I pick back up and settle, put down, shush, stroke face, etc, pick back up and repeat when they cry, put down and eventually during the shushing and face stroking, they turn their head and go to sleep. So far, it hasn't involved nearly as much crying as I worried about, and I'm always right there standing over the cot the whole time offering comfort, and holding them for a significant chunk, so it doesn't feel cruel - I hope it isn't. I only leave the room when I'm 100% sure they're in a deep sleep. I'm doing it as much for my baby to feel better with a decent sleep as I am for me, and they already had one nap today where I could put down, shush and stroke face and that was it all done!

The way I am now is much much worse for the baby than a short period of letting the baby cry and comforting.
If my mum ever felt the way I do right now I would have wished for her to let me cry a little.
Clearly you have never been in a situation like me otherwise you wouldn't be so judgmental.

It seems fashionable nowadays to just sacrifice your own health to your baby until you're a shell of a person. But what good is a mum that can't cope anymore?
I'm really not just mentally ill anymore but also physically. I have stomach upset, migraines and like 100 other issues from stress and lack of sleep.

Good luck, OP! Sleep training using the Ferber method is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I swore I’d never sleep train but I was completely broken and saw no other way forward. It involved so much less crying than there was with my hours and hours of rocking to sleep, and it seemed like it really helped my DC’s development to be better rested. My DC has been an amazing sleeper ever since (almost two years hence).

How are you getting on @Helena1993 ?

@heartbeatacrossthegrass she updated on her other sleep training thread:
Thread

Thanks very much @Batbatbatty !