Breastfeeding - baby won’t latch

[scotscorner]

Hi all - 5 day old baby will not latch and I cannot breastfeed her at all. My milk has come in, supply is very good so far, and we are expressing for her and giving it on demand - but I’d planned to breastfeed and am feeling so upset we aren’t managing it.

I’ve had support from the midwife unit, watched lots of videos and am still trying every few hours - trying lots of skin to skin, good positioning (the midwives say mine is fine). Typically she either gets really frustrated and screams or licks the breast then goes to sleep.

Today for the first time I felt really upset because they asked if I wanted to keep trying with the BF - which made me feel like they were saying there might be no point.

Has anyone had similar issues and managed to resolve them in time?

I'm so sorry OP sounds really stressful. Has anyone checked for tongue tie? My 2nd has been a really difficult feeder due to it. I found holding him in my arms while rocking him/swaying a little and having my boob out relaxed him enough and he would latch on while I was standing up and then once he was on I'd sit down to finish the feed. Hope that makes sense? It's so tough. Just keep trying if it's really important to you (my mum FF so I never felt any pressure to BF). Are there any BF support groups in your area that could help?

Thank you 🙏 really appreciate the reply. The midwife checked today and said no indication of TT (but reading around it I’m realising it can still be missed so may be worth me asking again!)
the midwife unit is great and I’ll go there again tomorrow - will ask about other groups…
Want to persevere but to be reassured we’re not a hopeless case! She literally can’t latch at all at the moment.

Is there a Breastfeeding clinic near you? Not a MW, but a breastfeeding clinic specifically? I'd also ask them to check again for TT.

Hi, I went to see a private lactation consultant and osteopath with my newborn recently. She was latching but it was very painful and didn't feel right compared to my first. They do quite a thorough check of around 10 aspects in the mouth, not just the ferenium. For example my dd has a high palate so had trouble getting the boob on deep enough yo create a vacuum. She also doesn't open very wide. I've been taught how to hold my boob to help with the palate issue and some 'exercises' where I gently stroke her upper lip, chin and cheeks to get the muscles a bit stronger to open.

You must be really stressed and I hope you get it sorted soon xx

If your milk has just come in your might be too engorged for her to latch, try hand expressing off some milk then latching her.
Give the sandwich hold a try as well as it puts the nipple deeper into her mouth so it's easier for her to latch.
Have a look on Kelly Mom and La Leche League as well as they have great advice.

My son couldn't/wouldn't latch at all for 3 days. I started using nipple shields and he latched and fed immediately. Maybe give them a go?

Agree that some specialist BF help would be great if you can get it. Meanwhile try the koala hold and tickle baby's feet when they latch on. I know this is frustrating but honestly once they crack a good latch you'll be away and it'll all feel so easy!

Yes to the advice above. You may be too engorged. Too difficult to latch if your breast is too full. Also the let down may be a problem. So getting a bit out may be helpful. Use a pump, or a haka pump or just your hand.

I second the advice to get a specialist in. I had several people (midwife, HV) saying there was no tongue tie, while it was a complete (100%) one... there are many gradations of tongie tie and you can also have a lip band tie.
Please please get a consult from a certified person who specialises in this! They can also help with positions and latching etc. Also if it turns out to be something else. Just Google for them, read the specialisations on their website and choose one that seems to suit your situation and that you like the sound of.

If it is a tie and it is cut you will need to do aftercare and your baby needs some time to practice his new tongue, but it makes a big difference.

Hi op, ask for a referral to your lactation consultant. Normally you should get seen within a day or two. Get them to check for a posterior tongue tie (one that's further back and easily missed). Babies do need time to learn to latch and I needed hands on support to get my ds latched. His latch was also really poor for a few weeks until we sort of got the swing of it but my referral to the lc was lost (we did get seen eventually) so now he's sort of learnt his own way which isn't perfect but it works for us. Just so you know - you are breastfeeding- I know she isn't latched but you are feeding her from your breast and sitting cuddling with her and getting the same connection and contact and your body is still producing milk to boost her immune system, the bottle is just an aid like nipple shields etc are. I understand why it's an emotional topic but don't let anyone tell you that you aren't breastfeeding. So many women have the same experience you're having, it looks on paper like the easiest thing to do and it really isn't so please try not to beat yourself up about it you are doing a great job and your dd is still getting all the same benefits. La leche league is a good resource and you could go to a local breastfeeding support group (there's women in my group who are facing the exact same challenges as you are who express and some combi feed with formula top up etc so might help you recognise that there's more than one way to breastfeed while getting some support and ideas on getting the latch or what would work for you moving forward). Good luck and congrats on your dd.

The most helpful midwife I saw when baby was a few days old and struggling to latch told me that I was being too gentle/tentative. She then (with my consent) made my boob into a nipple sandwich and firmly shoved it in with her other hand on the back of baby’s neck. Baby was initially surprised but after a few seconds got the message and started sucking in response.

It took a while after that before baby really got the ‘open wide’ thing, I think until she had grown a bit tbh, but fed with a bit of a nudge in the meantime which got us through. Might be worth a try?

Im a midwife....definitely persevere if you want to breastfeed. I've seen babies not latch for a few weeks and then go on to feed normally. Are you able to see an IBCLC? They can usually spend longer with you assessing everything and they are best placed to assess for tongue tie. How are you giving the baby expressed milk at the moment? If you are using a bottle, I'd ask the midwives to show you how to finger feed. They have to work harder to finger feed and it is more like breastfeeding. Some babies just take a bit longer to figure it out!

My baby didn't latch properly for over a week. EMCS possibly something to do with it, she was very lethargic and would not wake up easily. We syringe fed her expressed colostrum & milk when it came in. I really doubted that I would ever fully BF because the whole situation was so stressful. Had lots of extra appointments with MW & went to support groups and that really helped. After a week of constant syringe feeding we went to an appointment and she suddenly just latched on her own. Have EBF her now for 22 weeks.

Agree with what PP wrote about making sure you're breasts aren't too full because baby will really struggle to latch. Hakkaa pump worked for me, express a small amount of milk before offering to baby.

The most helpful midwife I saw when baby was a few days old and struggling to latch told me that I was being too gentle/tentative. She then (with my consent) made my boob into a nipple sandwich and firmly shoved it in with her other hand on the back of baby’s neck. Baby was initially surprised but after a few seconds got the message and started sucking in response.

This! You often have to quickly and aggressively bring the baby onto the breast once you get the open mouth. I also second a nipple shield, they can be effective for transitioning a baby onto the breast who won't latch. And definitely see a lactation consultant.

This happened to me when my milk came in, I got In touch with my local breastfeeding support network and one of the ladies suggested trying this www.laleche.org.uk/tag/reverse-pressure-softening/

It was to help make the nipple easier to latch to, I did this and then positioned her so that she was laying up my body on the suggestion of a midwife and I was able to finally get her to latch, I then borrowed an electric pump from the hospital and had it as a back up. The reverse pressure softening helped as I was so engorged, also laying sloped back to feed will help if it's coming out too fast.

Thank you so so much for replies and morale boost! I know that it’s only been a few days but as you all will relate to - they’ve been a long few days with a lot of worry/hormones

Hadn’t considered the nipple shields so will try that
@ZuliKyanLarsFoz currently giving it to her through a cup
@Stuckundersleepymoon that is encouraging!
@Cw112 i will ask for referral (& thank you for the reassurance, really appreciated 🙏)

Try La leche league

Hi OP I'd definitely recommend nipple shields too. They effectively make your nipple longer which seems to really help. I was in hospital so for a week with my first, under pressure to get him to feed to he could be released from SCBU, and he just would not latch. Saw the bf specialists etc and was reading up on different techniques to no effect. Then a lovely nurse in SCBU took one look at me struggling, handed me some nipple shields and he latched immediately.

This was a few years ago, but there seemed to be resistance to using shields amongst bf advisors on the basis that anything that makes breastfeeding more complicated means you're less likely to keep it up, so they're not quick to recommend then.

Look at The Association of Tongue Tie Practitioners website for accredited professionals. This definitely sounds like my experience with tongue tie, and everyone told me my baby was fine, and I just wasn’t feeding her enough 😡 despite me feeding literally non stop, and hew lack of weight gain leading to hospital admission! I hope you manage to find some help. It’s definitely worth persevering if you want to breastfeed, and don’t let them talk you out of it.

@scotscorner nipple shields! Those really thin silicone ones from Medela. Get some today!

They make it much easier for baby to latch. You can always transition off them later.

Agree about not being too tentative, you have to hold their neck/back of the head quite firmly and force the nipple in.

Lots of good advice above. When my son was 4 days and my milk came in he refused to latch on one side. Then cluster fed the other side so there wasn't a drop of milk left. The other side became so engorged that he wouldn't/couldn't latch, making the problem worse.

a nurse literally gripped my nipple so it was dripping, then manhandled the baby and forced him on. He resisted at first, then settled into a nice 20 minute feed.

Do do do persevere if you don't want to stop. The first two weeks are the hardest but once the baby knows what's what it gets so much easier!

I didn't feed my baby until she was over a week old as she was in NICU, wasn't immediate to latch but got there in the end.

I'd recommend seeing if you have a local la leche league, either to go to a group or get someone to come and see you. They're fantastic.

They have a helpline as well 03451202918, open 8-11 every day.

It took a little more than a week for my baby and I to get the hang of breastfeeding. I remember I cried a bit and felt so worried that she wasn’t getting enough. But we both figured it out in the end and everything was fine.

Lots of good advice here.

I think it's also worth remembering that although breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, both you AND baby need to learn what to do. It takes a little while for them to figure out what to do.

With mine, it took a good couple of weeks until we felt comfortable and it became second nature.

I went to a local breastfeeding clinic in the early days to get help. I then carried on going for the support but also as a social thing. It was great. Maybe see if there are any in your area.

My child never latched on. I expressed for 6 weeks. I tried everything but she just didn’t get it. I tried BF consultants and everything they suggested. My other 2 kids had no problem. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work out it’s not your fault just one of these things. My child is now teenage.