Worried about 19 month toddler potentially showing autism signs

[VictoriaF3]

Hi everyone,
I’m hoping I can seek some advice/information.
Firstly I adore DS and if he is autistic that will never change how I/we feel about him, but we have concerns he might be mildly autistic?. I have already spoke to our local health visits around 12 months? Made a list of things he could and couldn’t do/things I was and wasn’t concerned about. The health visitor completely put my mind at rest and said he sounded to be developing brilliantly and she had no concerns, but I can’t help to be getting this niggle again he could be.
So like I did with the health visitors, here’s the things I’m not concerned about;
*Sleeps very well - always 12 hours, usually great at self settling unless he’s having an off day
*His motor skills are brilliant, he’s been crawling and walking since he was young very young. Think he was 10 months when he started walking?
*He does answer to his name, selectively - so he doesn’t always but it’s more usually when he’s playing, or doing something and he knows we don’t actually want him for anything particular he doesn’t look
*He knows exactly what we’re talking about & listens to instructions - e.g it’s bathtime - he goes to the stairs. Tea time - comes to the kitchen. We’re going out - goes to the door ready to leave. Where’s your ball? He’ll find his ball. Not so good when we’re out and about and he’s just so inquisitive. Doesn’t always listen like he does at home.
*Loves playing, does play independently but will get us involved, brings you to the floor to draw with him or play with his toys
*Good eye contact, not always there but does look at you, or for you in a room - smiles when he see’s you see’s you coming, or wants to be lifted up somewhere
*Does get upset when I or his dad leave the room, or have to go to work, so does have that connection to me/his dad
*He can clap
*He has a brilliant little personality, smiling, laughing, tickling, loves being chased. He’s a joy to be around
*Brilliant eater - if it’s what he likes, he is picky but I suppose what child isn’t?

Things I am concerned about;
*19 months and we’ve sadly had no words. For a lion he can make a grunting sound, and he does sounds like eee, mmmm, aaaa and does babble a lot but no specific words. We read books but he will only sit for a couple of minutes and he’s up and off so doesn’t sit for long to properly read with him
*Hes a very active little boy so loves being free, walks, running, and climbing but doesn’t seem to have any sense of danger… but we’ve never let anything happen to him so maybe he doesn’t realise if he does these things he could hurt himself? Its the climbing, loves to climb.
*He doesn’t always answer to his name - we have no concerns with his hearing as he listens to instructions, reacts to sounds so that can’t be an issue but he seems to selectively answer to his name
*He doesn’t point or wave. We tried and tried with waving but he just never did it. Pointing was the same… I didn’t really know that was an issue until I looked into it but DS communicates through hand leading.. so if he wants something he will come and take your hand (look you in the eye) and drag you to where he wants to go/what he wants. Usually to go somewhere that has a baby gate on it like the kitchen or to come play with a toy/help him with a toy
*He doesn’t use imaginative play, or at least I don’t think he does. We have a play kitchen and he doesn’t pretend to do anything in it?. He plays with his other toys the correct way but e•g he has a pig you put the coins into and loves it but then has been taking the coins and putting them all on the windowsill one by one? Or taking his balls into the kitchen and putting them on the dining room table one by one? But will again play with them normally - role them to you etc
*Head banging is a major issue and I’m not sure if that’s because he’s frustrated with not being able to communicate but he usually does it when we say no to something, gets down onto the floor, head bangs and then screams/cries but I wouldn’t say a meltdown. It does end quite quickly
*Doesnt like cuddles/being held. He’s been like this before he could walk, he would like to be laid down and have his space sometimes. Even now, I will try and cuddle him & kiss him and he pushes me and everyone away. Even when he’s upset. He has come to me and tried to kiss me maybe 4 times? Without me asking. He will run to you and lay his head for a second before he runs away if he wants a cuddle
*Lastly, he covers his eyes if he’s nervous I think it is? So a new loud toy? Or if we go to see family and a lot of people are in the room he covers his eyes - doesn’t cry but then after a few minutes comes round and he’s off exploring.

anyone who has experience or thoughts would be greatly appreciated! TIA :)

Sounds normal but you could ask for a referral for speech and language support?

I’m sorry I haven’t kept an eye on this thread since posting, but I intend to keep it updated with any progress along the way. Everything I wasn’t concerned about still stands and he hadn’t regressed for any of them.

The things I was concerned about are listed again below with an update of progress;

My son is now 2.6 months.
19 months and we’ve sadly had no words. For a lion he can make a grunting sound, and he does sounds like eee, mmmm, aaaa and does babble a lot but no specific words. We read books but he will only sit for a couple of minutes and he’s up and off so doesn’t sit for long to properly read with him - * Sadly we haven’t had massive amounts of progress. Still lots of sounds, and especially now he can point, he uses this with a shouting sound to get his point across. We have had a hand full of words, but not all consistent. We have him on the SALT waiting list but this is 2.5 years long. We had a private speech therapist come to visit him around the time I posted this and there some was concern (not huge) and we discussed an assessment for autism, but we decided to see how he developed. I recently spoke to her again and she couldn’t believe the difference of what we were saying in his development and said she thought words would be coming thick and fast soon, although unclear, she believes they will start to come through. I do also believe this as he is really trying to copy sounds more, tries to say a couple of words when we read etc.. so I’m hopeful we’re on a good track. My plan is to see how he is when we get to 3 and then if not much progress, bring in the private speech and language therapist to work with him indefinitely. The NHS SALT spoke to
me as well and was very reassuring saying there is a pyramid of communication/language and the first layer is understanding, the second is being able to put their point across of what they want/need if they don’t have the words and then the third is being able to communicate through speech. She said because my DS had 2/3 that they weren’t too concerned and would only class the delay as moderate at this time.

*Hes a very active little boy so loves being
free, walks, running, and climbing but doesn’t seem to have any sense of danger… but we’ve never let anything happen to him so maybe he doesn’t realise if he does these things he could hurt himself? Its the climbing, loves to climb. ** He does now have a sense of danger, although he does still love to climb, he is very cautious (this has developed naturally)

He doesn’t always answer to his name - we have no concerns with his hearing as he listens to instructions, reacts to sounds so that can’t be an issue but he seems to selectively answer to his name - * We had his hearing tested and they said there was no issues with his hearing, slight wax build up? But this is still the same with name answering, does answer but not always

He doesn’t point or wave. We tried and tried with waving but he just never did it. Pointing was the same… I didn’t really know that was an issue until I looked into it but DS communicates through hand leading.. so if he wants something he will come and take your hand (look you in the eye) and drag you to where he wants to go/what he wants. Usually to go somewhere that has a baby gate on it like the kitchen or to come play with a toy/help him with a toy - *So this been one of the more major developments we’ve had. He does now wave, although it is backwards? (His hand is backwards when waving) which speaking to a professional they have seen this before and they do eventually obviously wave the right way but the gesture is there. His nursery find it adorable!. He also now points, he randomly one day pointed to something and since then this is all he does! Points for interest & requests. He will only hand lead if we don’t understand what he is trying to communicate to us and he will show us but other than this, he points at everything.

He doesn’t use imaginative play, or at least I don’t think he does. We have a play kitchen and he doesn’t pretend to do anything in it?. He plays with his other toys the correct way but e•g he has a pig you put the coins into and loves it but then has been taking the coins and putting them all on the windowsill one by one? Or taking his balls into the kitchen and putting them on the dining room table one by one? But will again play with them normally - role them to you etc - *This is another huge development, he now loves to use his imagination to play. We pretend to make food & toast in his kitchen and eat it, he feeds his favourite toys, and has a little peppa pig dolls house that he plays house with (putting them to bed, on the toilet, in the bath etc). This is lovely to watch!

Head banging is a major issue and I’m not sure if that’s because he’s frustrated with not being able to communicate but he usually does it when we say no to something, gets down onto the floor, head bangs and then screams/cries but I wouldn’t say a meltdown. It does end quite quickly - he never head bangs anymore. *This was a small phase that did pass

Doesnt like cuddles/being held. He’s been like this before he could walk, he would like to be laid down and have his space sometimes. Even now, I will try and cuddle him & kiss him and he pushes me and everyone away. Even when he’s upset. He has come to me and tried to kiss me maybe 4 times? Without me asking. He will run to you and lay his head for a second before he runs away if he wants a cuddle. *He is very affectionate now. He loves to give kisses, he will come and cuddle up to you, especially if he’s hurt, will always find you for a cuddle and he runs around nursery hugging other children

Lastly, he covers his eyes if he’s nervous I think it is? So a new loud toy? Or if we go to see family and a lot of people are in the room he covers his eyes - doesn’t cry but then after a few minutes comes round and he’s off exploring. - *I can’t even remember this happening tbh but he definitely doesn’t do this anymore!

My next concern is potty training, there are some signs he could be ready but being pretty close to non verbal, I’m not sure how this will go and will keep the thread updated.

Not even an experienced psychiatrist could tell you from a post on a forum if your child is autistic or not.

@VictoriaF3 It sounds like your little one is making huge strides in his development you must be so proud. Knowing how valuable speech therapy is as mum to two with autism I would say if you can afford it then I'd commission the private SALT asap. For my two the speech therapy has been the most beneficial. Dd is 20 now and has had normal speech from about four but still has speech therapy as their input is about so much more than speech. An explanation for the waving is he is copying what he sees. When you wave at him he sees your palm so he is seeing his palm when he waves back. Completely logical when you think about it. Hope your little one goes from strength to strength.

Thank you, that’s very kind, I am so proud of how he’s doing. Hopefully this time next year it’s another story again and we’ve made more steps with speech. I will speak to my husband about us progressing with speech therapy. It’s amazing to hear your DD progressed so fantastically with speech, that 3-4 range with speech delays does seem to be a magical time as I’ve heard a few that started around that time?. The waving, that does make sense when you shout it that way, he is just literally copying the action bless him.

Hi @VictoriaF3 so glad you've updated! Thank you it's so helpful to see where things are now. Sounds like your son has made lots of progress already! I posted back when my son was 19 months old with very similar concerns - he's now 25 months old (turned 2 end of Dec) and we've still no words really. 😞 But it's very encouraging to read your updates about his overall development as we have definitely seen some progress ourselves in other areas. When did he start to point and wave?

At 25 months my DS still can't wave when you say bye or hi, or point but he can signal he's hungry by putting his finger to his mouth and going mmmmmm! (At dinner time we always say mmm if it's nice) He can say "uh oh" if he's not happy about something, and say "go go go" He can clap when asked, can follow a couple of simple songs like "touch your head / nose" and stomps / claps / shouts during happy and you know it. But he has also lost words he could do, like mummy / daddy / cat / moo etc. Hoping these will return!

He can understand a fair bit, he knows where his pram and coat are, understands his shoes need to go on his feet, a comb is for brushing hair etc etc, can understand simple requests and instructions. If you show him how to do something a few times he's pretty might mastered it - just not speech it would seem. Bless him!

Role play - he's getting slightly better with kitchen role play - still loves to line up the fruit etc but will actually try and attempt to "chop" it with the toy knife now, or put toast in his toy toaster where as before it would just be chucked.

Still lots of hand flapping when excited but this has lessened a bit (I think! Hard to know if we're just used to it now)

Still hand leads absolutely everywhere and to everything but hoping this'll lessen as and when words / pointing hopefully start?

Like your DS he won't cuddle or kiss yet, he will sort of head butt us for a sort of cuddle but that's about it at the moment. I've also been trying to teach blowing a kiss for months which he is just now starting to try and copy.

Books - he still doesn't sit still for long with books but will sometimes try to repeat a word if its a book he likes (Hey Duggee for example) he mainly just likes to run up and down at the library and line up the chairs!

Randomly he had a huge aversion to water, it was hell on earth bathing him - but since I started taking him swimming (slowly!) he loves it now and we try and use the bath as much as possible to help bring on his speech as so many resources. He can now say "go" when we do ready steady for bubbles for example.

Sorry this ended up being long, loads more I could write but hoping to come back and see where you guys are at it's nice not to feel so alone in this! Sounds like he's doing amazing.

Oh you’re welcome! I did find it helpful when I was looking at other posts of progress. I think it gives you hope. I remember thinking he would just never point and then he suddenly just pointed at a butterfly in a book and just ‘got it’. I’ve looked back through my photos and I think he was around 2 years and 2 months when he first started pointing? And waving, I can’t actually find any clear photos but this was before he turned 2 so he must have been about 1 year and 10 months? I can’t say 100% though in that time frame!. I think the hand leading will lesson as communication comes along. My DS will still do it if he can’t get his point across of whag he is trying to communicate, but it is much less than it was before he could point!.

I think the words that you’re DS has at the minute is brilliant! That’s more than what my DS can say, and it’s all in context which is really important. My DS has said words when he’s been babbling and not realised, but because they weren’t in context they can’t be classed as a word the speech therapist said, which makes sense and he is trying to copy/fill in the blanks like ‘go’.

The understanding as well is brilliant. I know the speech therapist said to me about the layers of communication like I mentioned above, so your DS is understanding commands and what you’re saying (level 1), he’s able to put across he’s needs by putting his finger in his mouth to signal food for example (level 2) and the next level is actually being able to communicate through speech. She did also mention the list is so long because they sadly have children they work with who don’t understand what you’re trying to say so they can’t even begin to work on words until they’ve have this base level - which your DS does have!.

imagination play sounds brilliant and earlier than my DS, this has only really come along for us in the last couple of months?. He’s always played with toys appropriately, he did enjoy grouping items together or lining them up and he still sometimes does though now but it’s not obsessive.

Books my DS has again really only taken an interest the last few months. We’ve done a bedtime story every night since he was around 4 months old tbh 😂, and only now will he sit and really listen and loves them. I think each child will be different with this so I wouldn’t worry too much! The main thing is you’re trying to encourage it.

The cuddling as well, each child will be different and depends on their personality but for us our DS was the same with just running into us and then running away but he’s really affectionate now with us and his carers at nursery. I think it’s as he’s getting older and less chaotic as a whirlwind toddler who’s just learned to walk and explore, he’s now wanting more of that affection.

i think these posts and forums just really help don’t they?. I know I’ve felt so lonely at times and that it’s just me and my son going through this and these delays, especially as there’s so much pressure with milestones these days. I think seeing other people going through it, and seeing them make progress really helps. I just wish it wasn’t like this as I feel myself wishing time away to see his progress and I know I’ll regret that in years to come sadly!

You can't be 'mildly' autistic. Why do you have to prerequisite your post by saying that you adore and love your child?

x

The laughing with you and looking for you and then smiling sounds very encouraging.
Lots of chn have no words until after 2. In my experience early walkers are later talkers. Mine were chatting in sentences at 20 months but didn’t walk until 16 months. Sense of danger comes later also.

Ah just seen it’s an updated thread. Glad things are coming along nicely. Fwiw I work in primary and have a couple of almost non verbal chn in Reception. There don’t appear to be any other ND traits. There has been an increase since Covid but it’s hard to see why almost 3 years on. It sounds like you talk to your child a lot.

This really sounds like my 19 month old now. How's things going now?

"People" or do you mean me? Thanks for your lovely comment! My first post and my last.

Hi hope you are doing well x may i ask for an update on your Ds ? Many thanks

Hi how’s your darling son doing ? ☺️

How is your son doing now OP?

Hello, I was reading through your thread and just wondered how everything is going as my daughter does similar things and she's currently 23 months. Thank you in advance first time mumma here worried :(

@VictoriaF3 how are things now for you
and your little one?

I always had a feeling about my eldest even though everyone reassured me. He is 6 and just been diagnosed with autism. When he started school everything seemed to kick off and turns put I was right all along. He was an early walked 10 months, he was slow to speak but then at 2 came out with full sentences. Easy to toilet train at almost 3.He had very specific play he would do and as he got older that did/does include a lot of imaginative play. Ate everything until he was 3 then got very fussy about textures of food but also uses food as sensory seeking. Hearing is fine but doesn’t’listen’ a lot of the time. He didn’t sleep though as a baby or toddler, horrendous sleep. Still jas some horrorific nights now at six. I could go on but these were all things present in varying degrees at a young age and I knew there was something different about him.