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Original poster

Finding the days really long

19 replies

Lijay · 09/01/2023 15:57

I have an 11 week old and I'm struggling with what to do with him when it's just us two. I go to baby classes twice a week and have my parents come over once a week and my sister once a week so I'm not isolated and I am incredibly lucky but I find my days drag and Im wishing away his weeks.
My DH leaves for work at 5:30 am and gets home at 8pm so even with the baby classes and family visits etc we spend alot of time just me and my son. So we do tummy time, time on his gym (although he doesn't like that for more than 10 mins) we go for walks. But I still struggle with filling the rest of the day and feel he gets bored and frustrated. What else can I occupy him with? How do people manage to make and eat lunch etc? If I put him down he fusses (wouldn't say cries) and he has recently decided he hates the sling!
He had what I suppose you would call colic up until around 9 weeks which has got less and less but I feel like I'm not stimulating him enough and also... I'm so bored!!! Any help/advice is really appreciated!

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strawberrysummer23 · 09/01/2023 16:09

@Lijay I feel you! I'm 5.5 months in and have pretty much felt like this

See my mum and sister, baby groups but the days are so long and I feel so bored and lonely at times. Feel so guilty feeling like this as honestly felt it with my 1st 11 yrs ago and now a mum again I feel exactly the same

Only thing is time. Even as they grow they get more aware and enjoy company better

Happy to talk as understand the feeling

I'm sure others will be along soon to say something similar

Sounds like you are doing fab!

Lunches idea I try and make something for the next day so tonight we have chilli con carne which was made last week - I always try make more amounts and freeze and then that's tomorrows lunch

When I do get spare time and bubs is giving me a moment I make things up and leave in fridge so it's easy to grab when I'm not in a position to make something

Also easy things like riveta and cottage cheese then just chop an avacado makes a nice quick lunch x

Pantheon · 09/01/2023 17:15

Honestly at that age, do some things for you if you can. Take him wherever you feel like going- museum, shopping, cafe etc. Or watch Netflix while he naps on you. Stay and play at church halls are often nice for a cup of tea and chat with other mums.

Sunset6 · 09/01/2023 17:21

Read a book of your choice aloud to the baby - doesn’t matter about the content as long as you use a soothing tone and look at his face on and off. Works for my 17 week old, and I get to read books I like

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BuffaloCauliflower · 09/01/2023 17:26

Do things for you. An 11 week old literally just needs you and comfort, they don’t need occupying. Watch what you want to watch on TV, read a book while he sleeps on you (all my DSs naps were on the breastfeeding cushion on me at that age) go about your day to day with him and talk to him about it. I had my son into lockdown so this is pretty much all we could do, but babies this age really don’t do much and don’t need much either.

What sling are you using? Might be worth trying a different one as they’re a lifesaver. My son never liked the stretchy wrap but getting an Integra at about 5 months was great for us both.

thirdtimeluckyorwhat · 09/01/2023 19:26

Just try and get out to as many baby groups as you can. Church ones are usually free About the crying. Put him in his chair on on his play mat and leave him for a bit. It doesn't matter if he fusses for a while it won't hurt him. Make sure you get your shower and do the things you need to do it's important for you and it really won't hurt him It can be very boring at this age more for you than him.

LapinR0se · 09/01/2023 19:29

11 weeks olds should be mainly asleep (ideally). Is he napping ok?

Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 19:55

Thanks everyone, so I think maybe he doesn't sleep enough in the day then. He sleeps for maybe 3 or 4 half hour naps.

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Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 19:56

Thank you @strawberrysummer23 your message has made me feel it better! Maybe the days feel long... Because they are long haha!
Thanks for the lunch ideas too. I will give them a try! X

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Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 19:57

@BuffaloCauliflower ahh yes I use a stretchy sling. Maybe I need to try some others then. Thank you!

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PetitPetitPois · 09/01/2023 20:08

Not sure if you’re allowed to say specific Apps on here so might get deleted but I just downloaded an App called BabySparks, not sure what age it starts from but DS is 10mo and you get a 3 day free trial before you have to pay so might be worth a look.

It gives a list of activities everyday to do which is perfect for me as I struggle massively with intuitive play. I’m not a born leader so am excited for when DS starts telling me what he wants to do etc. I remember those days I felt so lost and boring 😅 It gets better I promise

OptimusPrime31 · 09/01/2023 20:09

It sounds like you could do with some adult company. Have you tried the app meetup? They've got loads of different groups going on, I've found it's a great way to meet new people when I'm new to an area. Although the stuff on offer definitely varies depending on where you live.

CopperMaran · 09/01/2023 20:22

I was discussing with someone the other day that with babies and young kids the days are sooo long but the years go quickly. I’m in the midst of teen years now but I do really remember feeling so similar to how you describe. Different strategies work for different people - I needed adult interaction and used to go out into town every day and go somewhere to do something - coffee shop, baby and toddler group etc. I found different groups had different vibes. Some I hated and some I liked so keep trying to find the right one if the first couple don’t work for you. Take care.

frenchie4002 · 09/01/2023 20:26

I feel similarly with my 11 week old! I just pot about and try to do one thing every day - coffee/baby class/go to the shops etc. Read a lot of books and watch a lot of tv. To make lunch or have a hot cuppa I pop her in a bouncy chair in front of baby sensory tv for 15 mins or so and like pps have said make something super easy. I mainly live off biscuits and toast nowadays lol.

Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 20:52

@PetitPetitPois just downloaded the app and it really looks like it will help. Great shout thank you!

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Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 20:55

@PetitPetitPois just downloaded the app and it looks like it will really help. Great shout thank you!

@frenchie4002 is there a specific baby sensory you put on?

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Original poster

Lijay · 09/01/2023 20:57

@PetitPetitPois just downloaded the app and it looks like it will really help. Great shout thank you!

@frenchie4002 is there a specific baby sensory you put on?

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Keha · 09/01/2023 22:28

Sounds like you are a bit lonely. Do you have other people you could meet for coffee etc? At this age they can just sit/sleep in pushchair. I just used to sit on the sofa with them sleeping on me and watch a lot of telly, it definitely could get a bit boring.

Original poster

Lijay · 10/01/2023 08:14

Ok so, maybe more naps, a different sling, pre make lunches the night before, try some new child playgroups, baby sensory for a quick break and maybe accepting some days will seem really long. It's a plan, thanks everyone ☺️ x

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Soapnotshowergel · 10/01/2023 09:29

I used to go to different groups most days - I used the children's centre or church hall types ones a fair bit as they were either free or cheap I'd often meet DH or friends for lunch so that would take up a good 2 hours with the travel time included. Shopping, look round our nearest town or city centre, art gallery. DH works away a lot so it's often not even having any adult conversation that would get to me - I became very chatty with people at check outs and befriended a few older ladies in our local coffee shop!

I had my second in lockdown and big lifesaver was a mum fit group, it was on zoom to start and then in person and that's been great to get to meet other mum's and do something for me too. I can't make daytime classes any more due to work but go to an evening class with the same teacher and go to the social events.

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