I need to give the background that I’m quite a sensitive person, I overthink and I absolutely hate animosity with anyone. I will back myself in an argument but ultimately like to apologise and move on, I don’t hold grudges and this is part of my thinking here.
I ended a relationship with my child’s father. He behaved appallingly to me and I had enough.
The dilemma…, I very much pushed for the idea of having a baby. I’m 36 and he’s 39. He would have waited a couple more years but I was adamant and said either we try or im moving on. For that reason I do feel I am more responsible for our child than he should be.
secondly, whilst he earns more than me, I am on 70k so I still earn enough for me and dc. I heard back from cms last week and they assessed ex’s contribution and it’s quite high (He has said he does not want to see dc overnight and will let me know if he can sort a something else out ad hoc).
whilst he earns quite a bit more than me, he has a lot of expenses which I can’t detail as it would be outing. They are not expenses that mean he has been financially reckless, they are genuine expenses and I understand totally why he has them. If he pays me this he will have around 2k left a month for food, any trips or socialising, clothes etc. In constant I have 2.5k spare a month, as I have less expenses.
I am tearing myself up about this as I feel it isn’t fair. I don’t know why I care as he was pretty shit to me since I had our baby but I just feel uncomfortable about it. My friends have said I would be crazy to suggest a lesser amount and that kids are expensive and my circumstances might change. Surely if I suggested 600 a month that’s enough though? Am I being deluded? I thought I could always go back to cms at a later date if I needed it to go up?