Hi, I've NC'd for this as I'm feeling quite embarrassed and ashamed of this. I just need to vent so I'm sorry if this is a long message.
My child underwent a life-changing surgery last year. They are in perfect health now but I do think the anxiety around this very serious surgery brought a lot of these issues on and I can't shake them.
I can't stop having intrusive thoughts about my 2 year old; particularly at night. It keeps me up for hours. I think of all the ways he could possibly be injured, or worse. I Google symptoms for hours incase he may have cancer or other serious illnesses.
The other day he tried to run into the direction of the road, I obviously caught his arm before he even go close. But I lie awake at night thinking 'what if I wasn't quick enough, a car could have hit him' but it is obsessive intrusive thoughts like this that I physically can't sleep thinking about.
We have just booked a cruise for next year and now I can't stop thinking about him falling over-board. He will never be out of my sight, I am a good mother and I don't doubt my abilities, but I can't stop thinking about it? I'm even debating cancelling the holiday.
Without being dramatic, it's severely affecting the quality of my life and it's been so bad these last couple of weeks. In a few weeks it will mark one year since this very serious surgery, so I'm not sure if the feelings surrounding this is affecting me but I just can't cope anymore.
Can anyone relate? Did it get better? I feel physically sick with worrying about what could potentially happen to him.