5 year old tells Dad he doesn't want to see him

[SinglemumtoDS81]

My DS sees his Dad every other weekend and 1 evening per week. He has attachment issues with me as well as going through assessments for ADHD and ADD, he has been on a reduced timetable at school since October half term and I had to take a break from work to accommodate this as his Dad was unable/unwilling to help and I am not in a job where working from home is an option so he has been with me almost all the time. I am always asking Dad if he is able to help more with his time, but always told 'No'. Financially, he is happy to help.

Yesterday Dad came to pick up DS for the weekend, DS was reluctant to go and within 5 minutes of leaving his dad messages me to tell me we need to talk as DS has just told him he doesn't want to see him any more.

I am mortified that my DS told his Dad this, and I've always maintained that no matter my feelings my DS needs the relationship with his Dad, I've told them both this but how do I explain this to my DS? What can I do to help the situation? I understand once he's older it is is choice but has anyone else had this from young children? What age can they make their own decision on seeing Dad?

Certainly not at 5!!
A court would expect you to coerce a small dc into wanting to go. Tell ex he needs to make it fun. And you need to say it's non negotiable..

I’d suggest to your ex that he validated your sons feelings and supports him with them, but explain clearly that contact is up to the parents.

eg I’m glad you told me that - sorry you’re feeling like you don’t want to see me any more. I’ll always love you however you feel. Can you tell me why you don’t want to see me.

Privately, I would be thinking that it’s a bit amusing that ex is comfortable saying he doesn’t want to see ds but much less comfortable with ds saying he doesn’t want to see ex. Bit of irony there!!!!

Thank you for replying everyone, as you’ve said I’ve tried and I do tell my ds that he doesn’t have a choice. He just seems to be doing everything he can to just be with me, with my parents when they helped with childcare and at school, and he got his own way. I really hope the specialist school he starts tomorrow helps.
I’m not sure what they do on their weekends, but majority of the time I hear he’s been to the park and grandparents. I’ve tried suggesting things in the past and I get my head bitten off and accused of thinking I’m better than dad, it’s very petty.
My personal opinion, once DS is older and he says he doesn’t want to see his dad, I’ll definitely try to encourage their relationship, but I’ll be happy. Ex definitely showed his true colours once I was pregnant and even more so once DS was born. We communicate mostly by text so DS doesn’t hear and arguments or tension and we’re polite in person, even to the point where when Christmas fell on my weekend I invited his dad over so they could spend Christmas together, this year it wasn’t reciprocated.