Any advice for moving children from countryside to city

[BMHlatte]

Hello, i posted in the chat section some days ago but hoping I might get replies here.

I wondered if anyone had any tips for moving with children?I have rented for 8 years and LL is selling this year, I have not managed to save enough for a deposit. My Grandmother cannot move back into her Edinburgh flat due to illness so is having to access sheltered housing and pay rent. My Grandmother's preference is that we move into the flat, which is in a good area with good school catchment, and pay her rent.

My children will hate me. I am on my own with 2 sons, 8&12 and a dog, I WFH majority of the time full time. I have just been seconded to a more senior role. We currently live in a semi-detatched 3 bedroom in a rural location outside the city. The schools are very very close (1 in secondary and 1 in Primary).If eldest was to stay at his current school, he would have to get two buses and leave home at 7am. he has never been on a bus by himself and rarely with me, but I know he would prefer to stay at his school.

Youngest is expected to receive ASD diagnosis, I have worked very closely with his school, but he has been expelled and a parent raised a police report against him in 2022. He is doing much better just now though and is excited about school. I would prefer to move him and allow him to build relationships close by so they can meet outside school, but current school has allocated funding for art and play therapy which is school funded so wont follow him. it will take around 25 minutes there and back from the flat walking.I am frozen with fear about the move, the expense and time and upheaval for us.

I know we are very lucky to have a home, but we are used to country living and being able to open the door to let the dog out when I'm grabbing a drink! All the boys school clubs are here, I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in, I don't feel I can cut My hours I've my secondment only started last week. I feel the boys should stay in current schools.

I can't sleep!

How long can you stay at your DG's flat? Is it a permanent move or temporary in any way? Is she likely to move back or sell at any point in the near future?

The only thing I would say regarding stable housing is what will happen to the flat if your grandmother were to die in the next few years? Or need a care home? (I see she has illnesses and I'm assuming is elderly)
Would you be able to stay on there until your DC finish school or will you have to leave and flat be sold?

I think it's a case of selling it to the kids, especially the older one, he can have more freedom in the city. He can stay at his school for at least this year and longer taking the bus, let him choose but move the younger for a fresh start, the new school might be better for him and get him the help he needs

Sounds like realistically both children would need to move schools. I would research schools which support children with SEN really well (these may or may not be the ‘good’ schools).

My other question would be what happens if your grandmother dies? Who will inherit and would they keep you on. A secure place and a fresh start is one thing but moving them with an expectation of moving again is a totally different decision.

On the issue of city life versus countryside- to me it’s a no brainer! City life is fanatastic for children. We live in London and our kids are so many cultural opportunities and access to better support (I also have an autistic child).

@BMHlatte well you have to do what works for you op. Maybe the largest bedroom you can get a permanent room divider and keep bedroom 3 as an office x

I'm a single parent to one boy age 13 we live in a lovely rural area. The thing is my boys dad died recently sadly . We have nobody here now no close friends or family, I'm struggling and want to move to London to be near family. My son is smart and confident and knows and likes London, my worry is getting him into a school, a nice school . I'm currently looking for a mutual exchange and will be looking at moving to the better areas of London. Has anyone done this ? How did your kids take to a city school from a rural school etc ,