Desperate for advice!! Ferber method/bottle feeding/middle of night m

[BeckyBoo16]

Looking for some advice, I’ve posted about this before but nobody seems to see it 😞

We have decided to use the Ferber method to try and get DS to sleep, he’s 7 months and we’re exhausted of rocking him/patting his bum etc at every wake up. He will sleep for 4/5ish hours at a time on a good night and wake up, drinks a whole 6oz bottle and sometimes goes back to sleep, other times he doesn’t and one of us is up with him.

My question is…when using the Ferber method, when he wakes up but isn’t ready for the bottle how do we carry on with it? His cot is in our room at the end of our bed. Do we still do the timer thing and go over to him after 2 mins, then 5 mins etc. And same again after his bottle, do we do the same? I’m confused about it as we won’t be leaving the room then, will this affect the Ferber method training? Should we move the cot??

We currently cosleep with the sidecar cot so I’m not sure if moving it and starting sleep training at the same time will be the best thing - might be too much for DS all at once.

Please help!!

Sorry that should say the cot is in our room, it will be at the end of our bed as it isn’t currently.

And also how long do you let baby cry for? I read if it’s been over an hour to just give up and try again in a few weeks? Is this right?

Move the cot. He can be in his own room at 6 months. This way one of you isn’t disturbed as much when the baby wakes up and you can follow the method properly. Suggest if you are on mat leave you do the wake ups on weekdays and dh can share the weekend.

4 or 5 hours sleep at a stretch isn’t bad, if you sleep when the baby sleeps and nap in the day when baby naps. Will the baby settle for another stretch after the 5 hours? That way you have a pretty good night’s sleep (accepting that permanent exhaustion is normal with a baby).

I didn’t do Ferber but I did sleep training from 6months so understand the dilemma of trying to follow a method that doesn’t suit your circumstances precisely

What do you do to get him back to sleep after the bottle?
What is the light intensity in your room when feeding?
Does he empty his bottle?

(Although I guess you have already looked into all this... you sound tired and very caring)

I did ferber and it worked really well for us, was also at 7 months but she had already dropped all night feeds by then. I'm not sure I'd have done it if there was still night feeds in the mix, as you say if could get a bit confusing for you & your LO.

When we did it, we knew whenever she woke up it was about settling her quickly - a quick sip of water etc - I actually do think it would have disrupted the whole thing if was still getting her out of cot for a bottle.

@StarsandStones we have a very dim nightlight and I just feed him with that on but it’s almost pitch black, he usually falls asleep after finishing the bottle so I just put him back into his cot next to me and hold is hand or pat his bum lightly and he’ll fall straight off.

Thank you everyone - I don’t know whether to wait until he’s dropped his night feed and do it as I am worried with us being in the room that he’ll get confused and cry more as we’ll be there. He definitely still needs a bottle overnight as he drains it, if he wasn’t drinking it all I’d be tempted to drop this feed.