4 year old throwing

[Newnamefornewyear2023]

I have 3 boys, the youngest of whom is 4. He is imaginative, incredibly physically active, loving, demonstrative and very full of feelings and emotions. My other two were (and are) much calmer personalities. I often find the littlest one’s behaviour very tiring and difficult to manage. There are a few issues, but this post would be too long if I went into all of it, so I’ll focus on the throwing as it’s the most dangerous. He will throw hard objects at his older brothers, sometimes at their heads. Sometimes it’s when they’re arguing but it can also be when the older ones are minding their own business, playing with their own toys. He’s just being a bit wild/wanting attention, but he could really hurt one of them soon. He and the middle one were arguing about something earlier and he picked up a stone and went to throw it at his brother. I stopped him fortunately but could easily have happened when I wasn’t looking. Any advice please on how to get this to stop?

Does he understand the dangerous element of it? If he does and would also understand a conversation with you about it, then I'd sit down and explain to him that there's going to be a rule change -

1. x consequence every single time something is thrown that shouldn't be.

2. If he ever feels the need to throw, here is a box of soft balls which can be thrown in this area only but not at people.

3. And as an incentive, every day he doesn't do any throwing that he shouldn't you'll put a mark on the calendar. If he can get 10/20/30 in a row then you'll take him and brothers for a treat. They can help encourage him and he'd get the satisfaction of having achieved something for all of them rather than feeling like a nuisance. I'm sure many will think that's too soft, but that's what I'd do!

@Pirrin has nailed it
Consequence
Alternative
Incentive

Oh and patience!!

A 4 year old can definitely understand how dangerous that is, unless mitigating factors such as SN.

How are you disciplining him when he throws objects at people ?

Thanks so much, all. I really appreciate the comments. My difficulty is deciding the immediate consequence. If we are out and it’s somewhere 4 y/o wants to be I can just say, right we’re going home. But if eg. We are on our way home or are at home I’m not sure what is an appropriate, helpful consequence

Ps current consequence I gave today was that he didn’t get a treat he would otherwise have got later. Bit weak tbh but couldn’t think of anything else