Custody & threat of violence

[Mum032019]

Hi. Posting on behalf of my sister. I’m looking for help / experiences of others in this situation.

She recently left an emotionally abusive relationship, coercive control, financial abuse, no physical violence as such although it was heading that way. They have a young child, school age, together, he is on the birth certificate. He’s recently moved partially out the house, owned by our parents and rented to them, but won’t hand in his key. He’s paid nothing in ages towards rent etc. refuses to lay maintenance or any contributions towards any cost, many of which are arrears he’s racked up. For his two days custody he wants to live in the house alone with their child whilst my sister stays away. This is causing immense distress already to their child and isn’t fair as he pays nothing towards anything! Just expects to eat the food, use the heating etc. legally I’d have thought she had rights, his name isn’t on the tenancy agreement. But what are her rights and what about the custody arrangement? It’s causing immense distress at this stage to their child but she doesn’t want to stop access. She is scared what he will do if pushed too much though.

I’ve probably left lots out so happy to answer any questions.

All Advice appreciated, thank you.

Firstly she needs to get the locks changed and then she needs to contact a solicitor. That is the only thing she can do right now.

Thank you, my thoughts too. She’s reluctant changing the locks as he says he can only see their son at the house overnight as that’s all he’ll agree to. He’s very unreasonable.

Is he on the tenancy?
Can your parents serve them notice? And then re-let to your sister in her sole name?
I'm not legally trained but just ideas I'm throwing into the mix.

If he isn't in the tenancy agreement your parents as landlords can change the locks, give your sister a new key, accuse her of subletting to him without informing them and forbid her from allowing any adult not on the tenancy agreement from staying in the household.

Ex doesn’t get to dictate contact in that way.

ideally she needs legal advice, yes to change the locks. Solicitor can propose her contact suggestions. Nothing has to be agreed just yet but keep him out of her home.

how does she want to manage contact? She needs to find a way to do it without giving ex access to her. Can a third party facilitate?

well done for her on getting him out. Don’t let him back In, he will be using it to get back at her

Hope someone can help. Me and my ex not married but he's on birth certificate. 2 years ago I had to call police on my ex's father as he came running to hit me. They had alot of cohesive control over me. So for nearly 1 and a half year my ex didnt see the child. Last year we tried to fix thing for our son. But only 2 months and everything went back to how things were before. He never used to come home, never saw the child. Only met him for 10sec in like 10 days. 2 weeks ago I wanted to end things, when I told him he said I want to take the child every week 3 days.. I said no as he never saw the child anyway and he's turning 3 soon. I said you will have to go court. The word court triggered him and he started to hit me and strangled me. I called police and they took h away. Due to alot of threats from his family I had to withdraw the case. After 2 weeks his solicitor has emailed me to say he wants child arrangement.

My question is he never saw the child he's physically and mentally abused me and, also my child is in a process of a diagnosis. He has some short of learning difficulty that's not been diagnosed yet.. can he go to court and take my child away from me. I don't want him to take him away from me over night as my son has alot of needs and he has no clue. Please could someone help.

Also he never paid toward the child, not for clothes food. Only recently he started to pay for nursery and rent after me begging him for money for days.

Thank you

@Pkc you need to start your own thread.
However in child arrangements cases the court don't care about old domestic abuse to one parent but the about the child having contact with both parents regularly.

Thank you I will open new thread