I think I'm making a mess of the whole toilet training thing...

[Twiga]

3 weeks ago dd (2 and 4.5 months) refused to go back into nappies having been in pull-ups over night. We'd been at a friends whose daughter is dry during the day and they'd had a bath together and dd had asked for "princess pants" like her pal afterwards. Following morning she wanted more "princess pants" not her nappy. Thought we might as well go for it as had some knickers ready for her in the draw anyway and bought some pull-ups to use at nap/bedtime. She's great at getting to the toilet for a wee, manages her trousers etc up and down herself no bother. However she's only managed to poo on the toilet once and we've had 1/2 poo accidents a day. Really haven't been able to face the thought of cleaning poo out of knickers so she's ended up in pull-ups full time atm which was never my intention. I would have been happier leaving the whole thing for a few more months as have just started weaning ds who's 7 months, and still feel quite busy with jobs having moved 5 months ago - impossible to get straight quickly with 2 small people under foot! Am tempted to just forget it and put her back in nappies but she's a determined wee thing and I know that there will be a lot of upset if we do.

dd is also very insistent that we don't go into the toilet with her aobut 70% of the time which makes it hard to get her to sit on the toilet for any length of time - have tried reading to her but it's not been hugel sucessful. We've got a potty upstairs and downstairs but she prefers to just go up to the toilet. We're usually out in the mornings - life wouldn't be worth living if we tried staying in for a few days as dd gets a bit stir crazy if we don't go out at some point in the day. Need to get rid of the pull-ups apart from at sleep times and had thought if I used them when we were out I could get her to put knickers underneath so she would still feel wet if she had an accident but we could avoid dragging changes of clothes out with us.

Don't really know what I'm asking in terms of advice but could just do with a new view on the whole thing - can feel myself getting annoyed when she's having poo accidents because she'll quite happily tell you that you do poos and wees in the toilet and not in pants but then does it anyway and refuses to ask to go. Am worried that I'm going to end up upsetting her over the whole thing. It just feels like we've swapped one lot of nappies for a diff sort iyswim and at least the nappies were cloth so she knew when she was wet/dirty.

hi i no exactly how you feel,im in the same situation with my son. Started potty training again a few days ago and its still the same thing,he wont poo anywhere except his pants.Im trying my hardest not to get mad at him and would love to put him back in pull ups but i no if i do its not going to get any better.im like you dreading the next time he has a poo-happened twice today,iv only been out the house once in the last4days and its starting to get me down.sorry dont have any good advice tho!

Hey Katie, thanks for reading through my rather long post . Think you're brave to have stayed in that long are there any short trips you could do - a good friends for coffee - just so you're not stuck in looking at the same four walls. Hope it all improves shortly, will be thinking of you.

yeah thanks im of all this week so going to brave a short trip everyday otherwise think i might go mad.then its back to work which i didnt think i would say it but im looking forward to going back now!!be sure to post again if you have any luck with potty trainin

bumping for the evening crowd

Am I too late coming to this? Just browsing, but your dd sounds like mine, right down to the age we started potty training...we had about 2 months of poos in the knickers (and it is grim and it does test your patience to the limit) even though she would happily tell me poo went in the loo or potty. Grrr. Anyhow, despite me failing to remain calm and then worrying she'd end up with a complex, she got the hang of it eventually and now (just turned 3) is well and truly potty trained and has been for several months. For her, the eureka moment was some nappy off time on holiday (not easy in this weather) - I think she found it easy to poo in her knickers as it was like a nappy, but as soon as they were taken preferred to use the potty.

Not sure whether you can organise some nappy free time, maybe around the time of day she normally has an accident? She'll get there in the end - they all do. I know right now it mght not feel like it (I nearly hit someone who said it to me when I was tearing my hair out!) but she'll sort it out. It's incredibly common - most of my friends' kids seemed to have similar issues.

Good luck - you have my sympathies!

Thanks latchmeregirl, it's nice to know it's a common enough prob. So far in RL anyone I've spoken to seem to indicate they had probs the other way round and that their wee ones got the hang of pooing before weeing on the toilet/potty because it's a more obvious sensation [hmmm]? Some time with nothing on might work, she is very definate about not having trousers on when we're at home, just her pull-ups/knickers - think she finds this bit easier having one less thing to take off, so might go for the idea of nothing on.

From trying to talk it through with dd the last day or so I think part of the prob is that although she quite likes the pull-ups coz they're pink with princesses on she really just sees them as a slightly diff sort of nappy so it may be a case of going for it on a knicker front and braving any potential clearing up I may have to do. We ran out of pull-ups today (after poo number 3 - aaargh!) and fortunately she seemed happy enough to have a disposable nappy on at bedtime - we usually just use them if we're out and about as normally in cloth.

Need to decide in the morning wether to just go for it with knickers or do disposable nappies for a couple of days then start again at the weekend when dh isn't at work and home for back up. Still also just wandering if I could talk her back into nappies for another month or so if things would go better/quicker a bit later down the line. All I know is I'm really worried about giving her a comlex about it and just want to get this right in the easiest way poss for us both!

If you really don't think she (or you!) is ready for it, then persuading her to give it another month in nappies might be a good idea for everyone's sanity. Like you we got into the pull-up trap - she felt it was as good as knickers so the incentive was lost. Not making that mistake again!!

Re: the clearing up. It is horrible - we took the view that any really bad accidents would be dealt with by throwing the offending knickers away, so stocked up on cheap ones with the promise of pretty ones when she got the hang of it. I kept some scissors handy and in an emergency would just treat them like a nappy and cut them off then wipe everything with some baby wipes. Much easier than trying to pull them down and using loo roll.

So this morning we've just gone for it. No accidents so far - already pooed in overnight nappy. Have brought the steps and seat for the toilet downstairs so I can keep a closer eye also means that I have an excuse to go with her as there are no windows so needs me to put light on! We spent the morning making a sticker chart together and had a good chat about how we were going to use knickers in the day time and only have pull-ups or a nappy for sleeping. Sat her on potty for story time before nap and will do the same again straight afterwards as I suspect it's a potential accident time having just woken up.

Good idea about the cheap knickers latchmeregirl, will see how things go over the weekend but will think about it.

It is great for me to read this, we are SORT of trying with our little man who is not remotely bothered if he is wet or dry or pooey! Therefore according to the books he is not ready but really interesting for me is that we have no probs with wees on the loo or potty (he doesn't mind either) but will tell me he has done a poo after the event and then won;t let me change him! I have just been to buy cheap pants and like you ladies am going to try some nappy free days - watch this space!

Had same problem with my son at about 2 and 2 months was preg and had a deep aversion to pooey pants and pooey floor...wees were cool! Started a reward sticker chart on advice of mother of 5 friend and had overnight success spider man stickers did it and near hysterical,grateful praise from crazy hormonal mother! Good luck!

just to quickly up-date, one poo accident yesterday and one this morning. Today's accident was really annoying as I'd been asking for about 30mins beforehand and we'd even been through to sit on the toilet a couple of times - kept my cool though. Had to take ds to GP this afternoon so wimped out and left dd in her naptime nappy. Dd definately less happy to have accidents in knickers ("my poor fifi pants") so hopfully we've nearly got it cracked - who knows, still tomorrow's saturday so dh will be around for back up - hurrah!

hello just been browsing as i have just potty trained.. my dd 1 is 2 (and 2 months) dd 2 is 14 months.. i started about a week before 2nd birthday, we had a whole month of accidents and nappys on for sleeps during the day, i almost gave up, we tried knickers on under nappy or over nappy! we've tried everything,
she likes the step and seat, ahe absoloutely hates the potty!
we have now completed 2 nd month and she has been almost completely dry during the day. no nappie what soever during the day even when we go out and for naps so am very pleased.. its just perservering, i was gonna try night time but lots of people have said not to worry as she is young???? twice i've forgotten to put nappy on and she has only wet first thing in morning, i've brought a waterproof bed sheet just in case i forget again.
now her nappies are almost completely dry in the morning and i whip them off straight away so she can't wet...
oh and by the way with the pooing, they just don't seem to get the whole pooing on the toilet or potty we had a month of poos in knickers!! ended up throwing loads away but luckily on this 2 nd month we've not had any dirty ones! (just from my dd2)
any way good luck.

My daughter has recently toilet-trained at 3.2.

We didn't do potties at all - I left her in nappies until she went to school at 2.8 (where she had to where pants and go to the mini-loo during the short morning). We had a few minor wee accidents but no poo accidents, and she asked to wear a nappy at home.

She continued wearing pants to school, nappy at home (even at night, though she was actually dry for several months at this point) until the other day she asked to go to the loo, with a reducer seat.

In one afternoon she took off nappies, did a wee and later a poo on the loo - and we haven't looked back.

Her decision - she wasn't trained, just given the opportunity to use the loo when she felt ready.