Taking a baby to a wedding

[wintersun21]

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and next year when our baby is about 4 months we've got a wedding to go to. Luckily for us our little one has also been invited so that's not a problem.

The only issue is my husband is a groomsman and so will be heavily involved with the wedding. I will not know anyone other than the bride and groom at the wedding so it will be me looking after the little one and DH when he can.

We have to decide soon whether we stay there overnight at the accommodation there or we get picked up by DIL and stay with them.

I'm leaning towards the latter because it will give me flexibility if I need to leave earlier. But then having a room to go to might be easier?

I have no idea what it will be like but just want to get some experiences of people who took their babies to weddings so I know what to expect. As I said I won't know anyone other than my DH and the bride and groom.

[ShirleyPhallus]

I’ve done it a few times, youngest 6 weeks right up to toddler age. It’s been great every time actually, people are SO nice about babies and I had pairs of hands every time to help out. Strangers would offer to hold her while I ate my dinner etc.

the hardest time was when DD was about 11 months, so crawling everywhere but not walking. 4 months is absolutely fine as your baby will still be napping quite a bit.

id get a hotel room so you can go back if you want privacy to feed / if it gets too much for you and to put the baby to bed but I’d definitely go, you’ll have fun

[wintersun21]

@ShirleyPhallus thank you that's really reassuring. I'm definitely planning to go! They are really important people in mine and my husband's life! Just feels weird making these plans without my baby even being born yet but the wedding venue needs to know 😂

[ACynicalDad]

We had a room in the hotel the wedding was in which is a great base. Maybe see if the bride and groom can have some people over to lunch in advance including you? Maybe groomsmen and their partners, you might meet some other women that won’t know anyone.

[SunshineClouds1]

I agree to getting the room! Perfect space for a break if you need it.

[Marblessolveeverything]

I would recommend the room, that way you may even get a nap while the little one naps.

At the very least you will have an escape bolt hole if the noise starts to upset little one though at that age mine loved music and the chat. Perfect age for weddings as someone said the issues Start when they want to move independently.

[GreenManalishi]

Very portable at that age, and a good way to get talking to people

[Peonies94]

A similar position but baby will be 8-10 weeks depending when she’s born! I am going to the wedding alone in the day, and husband joining in the evening! The baby is attending parts, but will go back and fourth room with husband! We had the same thoughts and up until a few weeks ago was planing to go home, but we’ve now decided a room is the best option as baby can nap/feed etc in room and we have a base if she is unsettled etc! It’s so hard to make the decision when your baby isn’t even here though, isn’t it! Best of luck, sure you’ll have a lovely day!

[MGee123]

We did exactly the scenario you described. Stay on site at the wedding - it gives you flexibility to go between the wedding and a quieter room, you can put the baby down for naps etc if needed, and you can also get away if you've had enough but your husband can stay on to fulfil duties. You can also be involved the following morning which is nice. I really appreciated being able to go back to the room to do bedtime routine, then put baby to sleep in the buggy and took her back to a quiet bar so I could still socialise! It will be much less stressful than being tied to/restricted by other people's schedules. We actually had a really good time, went far better than I expected!

[Boringcookingquestion]

I went to a few weddings when my LO was under 1. Having a room to nip back to was easier than driving home for us. That way if your baby gets too fussy or struggles to nap, you have somewhere comfy to retreat to. If you decide not to get a room, look out for a quiet corner when you get there so your not searching with a cranky baby.

Try not to worry about not knowing anyone, in my experience a cute baby is a great ice breaker. I just sat at the end of the aisle during the ceremony so I could sneak out if needed.

[Findyourneutralspace]

I loved having a room when we took out to his first wedding. He was only four weeks old, so it was good to be able to slope off there for a feed and a nap. Plus if you don’t know loads of people you can pretend he’s hungry and take yourself off to watch TV for an hour if you fancy a break!

[dormouses]

Having a baby with you is actually much easier when you don't know anyone - lots of people will be desperate for cuddles/to help out.

Agree, having a room would give you space to escape, feed baby and go to bed when you're ready. I'd be inclined to book a separate room for DH if he's likely to be up late drinking and not disturb you.

[Twizbe]

4 months is super portable age.

Get a room though so you can duck out if you need.

Have a look at cloth wrap slings. Way more comfy (and stylish) than structured ones so that you can wear baby a bit. Makes it possible to chat and socialise while baby sleeps a bit.

You might have to leave the wedding early though for bed time, but you can play that by ear.

[confusedlots]

They're so portable at that age so make the most of it! Take baby along, they will nap in the pram or sit in someone's arms to take a bottle and you'll have lots of people wanting to take on that job! The noise will soothe them and send them off to sleep.

When mine got to around 9 months, and then also when I had our second, we couldn't do any late nights with the kids like that because they just needed a regular early bedtime and routine and got completely grumpy if we upset that.

I wish I'd made better use of those first 6 or 9 months in hindsight!

[Jendrw5]

I took my baby to a wedding at 5 months old. I was mainly worried beforehand about him crying during the ceremony but he was fine. I think he was mesmerised by everything as it was completely different to what he was used to.

We took baby out for a walk around the area if he was getting cranky, to settle him down. Everybody loved him and I even took him on the dance floor for a little mummy/son dance 😍

We had a lovely time, everybody was lovely to us including people we didn't know and I'm sure it'll be the same for you and your baby 😊

[Mindystryder]

I'd get a hotel room. Reasons being: you might be tired and glad of a break; if you're breastfeeding a fussy feeder then a quiet room is a godsend; you could bow out early if the baby is fractious but your DH can stay and no one is put out with needing lifts/taxis etc. I have taken a 2 month old and a 4 month old to weddings (not at the same time - 2 different DC at different ages!) and I'd say both times by the evening they were really really grumpy and it was far too loud for them when the band / disco started so we had to leave. Also both times everyone loved holding the baby and even people I'd never met before offered to help with stuff (eg taking the baby so I could eat, getting me a glass of water while I bf-ed and so on).

[MrsFionaCharming]

I took DS to a wedding at 6 weeks old. I think it was overstimulating for him, so all he wanted to do was cluster feed. I’d chosen a specific nursing dress and bra but they didn’t work very well together, so feeding him was difficult and stressful for us both.

We’re going to another when he’s 4 months, I’ve bought some baby ear defenders, will do a practice run of feeding him in my outfit, and remember the sling!

[ToddleToddleToddle]

I would get a room at the place, 100%. You would have flexibility to leave when you want, a place to store all your baby junk, and privacy to feed if desired. My sister brought her 4 mo to my wedding, and asked the staff where could she feed her daughter. She was directed to the ladies room where a) there was no seat (other than a toilet) and b) she maybe could have sat on the ledge, but it was directly facing the door! (she eventually found a quiet booth that offended nobody).

Don't worry about not knowing anyone; the baby will give you a buffer of something to do if there's a lull!

My neice slept for most of my wedding. I don't remember her making any disruption at any point - when we were taking photos she lay unconscious in her carrycot, so it was a rousing success! Enjoy the wedding!

[Cappuccino17]

I took my first born to 3 weddings. One was as a 5 month old she was fine. She did cry at one point when it was meant to be quiet and people were just so nice about it. Id expressed bottle milk and she drank that and fell asleep so managed to eat etc.

My son went when he was 6 months and he was just very happy. He stayed in his car seat whilst we ate and i kept him entertained on the side he was content. And then we walked him around the venue and he loved all the displays and family taking him etc. Successes. The only thing i don't know about is if u were breastfeeding. I took expressed milk on both occasions. But as people have suggested just ask for a private room. I changed my kids in private rooms on both occasions as the toilets were very busy. The staff showed us rooms with seating etc. So you check in advance if you do decide to breastfeed.

[DappledThings]

Went to one when DC1 was 12 weeks. Stood at back of church rocking him in pram and he slept through. Spent quite a lot of the meal with him in a stretchy sling on me, all good.

Stayed in the room when the meal was ended to change him into sleepsuit, sleeping bag and put him down again in pram. Then wheeled him to a side room off the disco/bar bit and a succession of older relatives delightedly watched him while we went off and had a dance.

We were staying with PIL so drove back there about midnight. I was happy not drinking to do so.

It was all very straightforward.

[NoThanksymm]

Everyone loves babies! You will meet someone quick!

get the hotel room. It’s clearly an important person to your husband, let him enjoy the night till he falls on his face!!

the room is sooo nice for some privacy or nap or between ceremony and reception (get early check in). And you can toodle over there easily!

do it! It will be fun.

[wintersun21]

After all this the wedding got postponed because they got pregnant 😅