False starts at night

[WH52]

9 month old DD has never been a brilliant sleeper, not terrible but not great either. However she used to do well at the start of the night, going to her cot between 8pm and 8:30pm and doing a stretch of sleep until around midnight. Now however she wakes on cue about half an hour in and will not go back to sleep for hours. Past few nights she’s been awake from then until 11/12 and the only way to eventually get her to settle is to co sleep which I hate doing as she rolls around so much in her sleep.
I’ve spent a lot of time playing around with wake windows and nap lengths but it seems no matter what I try she does the same thing.

Our routine is a bit like this:
Between 7-7:30am - up and bottle
9am - breakfast porridge
10am - 11:30am - nap 1
12pm - lunch
2:30- 3:15pm - nap 2
3:30pm - bottle
5:30pm - dinner
8pm-8:30pm - usually falls asleep easily, happy and sleepy before bed but not cranky
9pm - wide awake and alert for a full wake window!!

Any advice? I’ve tried shorter wake window before bed before, this just results in her being up very late completely. I’ve tried longer naps during the day, this leads to a very disrupted night. I’ve tried less nap time, this leads to overtiredness and crying by bedtime followed by the same waking. Help!

How long have you tried the adjustments? normally they say change one thing and try for at least a week before deciding it hasn't worked. Whilst there's the old caveat of every baby is different which is true, for her age I personally think the last wake window is way too long. My DD is 15.5months and we used to wake her at 3.15 latest for a bed of 7ish when she was a couple months younger than she is now, only recently moved to one nap with the last WW being 5-5.5hrs. It could be chronic over tiredness ( cortisol keeping her awake?) which will take abit of time to get out of the debt. So you could try an earlier bed/shorter wake window for a while and see if it resolves itself in time, other than that I'm not sure what to suggest.
Normally FS are due to under or over tiredness...baby sleep is a ball ache so I sympathise with you. Seems like when you have something nailed it suddenly changes.

@ffsagain123 Yeah we tried a later nap for a while but she wouldn’t sleep at all then until around 10pm! It does seem she’s very low sleep needs or something. My mum thinks bedtime is too early but I don’t think it is, most people I know have babies going to bed at 7 which would be the dream lol, I’ve attempted earlier bedtime too but the same thing happens. At my wits end with it, My husband and I get no alone time at all in the evenings. They’re spent trying to get baby to sleep

They’re spent trying to get baby to sleep
Not to want to put you off but that's pretty much how we spent many most evenings for a couple years. It's pretty normal in my experience. My eldest started sleeping much better at 2 when his younger db came along.

@WH52 I definitely wouldn't try a later nap but bring bedtime earlier and give it a good period of time to adjust.

You're right babies do best on a bed of 6-8, depending on age. Absolutely do not be worried about an early bed to resolve over tiredness. Our daughter hates napping at nursery. At home she's a dream. Yesterday she did 37 mins, sigh so it was bed for 6.30.

Dare I ask have you tried sleep training? You don't mention if she's crying etc. We did at 8 month, after one month of failing to settle/no sleep/MH/losing minds etc ( we have been exceptionally lucky though prior to and after this with her).

Also are all other bases covered - temp/hunger/pain etc? I'm sure you'll have thought of these. Just trying to think of other things.

Also I should add not all parents spend hours each night putting their child to bed. We do bedtime routine, then she's normally out like a light after 8 mins. This has been case since our blip at 7-8 months. Again babies temperament and adaptability come into play as well.

The only way my DS can stay asleep is if he goes to sleep on his own in the first place.

Would recommend Dr Ferber’s book - I got the e-book and stayed up all night reading it, and it was literally life changing the next night.

The theory is, if you’re there when she goes to sleep, when she stirs and you are not there, her brain thinks something is “wrong” and wakes her up fully.

If she was alone when she went to sleep, when she stirs her brain thinks everything is okay and she continues sleeping.

It’s not “cry it out”. You can go in and comfort as much as you like, as long as she is alone when she actually goes to sleep.

Thanks everyone.

She cries hysterically if we leave the room/aren’t in it when she wakes. When we’re with her she’s happy albeit wide awake. Wouldn’t be against sleep training but not sure if it’s appropriate/would work if she has some sort of separation anxiety. Will give earlier bedtime a try though!

@WH52 Yep it's abit tricky if there's separation anxiety too, worth waiting til that calms abit before any sleep training. I know it's not for everyone but it definitely helped us and several other parents we know.