DS 3 - Highly sensitive to change

[Violet956]

I have had concerns about my DS who is 3 and 3 months, he is very highly sensitive to change and relies on me alot (as my DH works 7 days a week , no exaggeration!)

It began maybe 9 months ago when he refused to wear any shoes other than his pre school daps, it's now developed into not wearing any shoes but these, won't wear jeans (jegging type) won't wear anything that isn't made out of tracksuit bottom material. It's becoming a real battle to get him anything new.

I trawl vinted most nights looking for his "safe" clothes in the next size up.

He also doesn't sleep through the night in his own bed, and will eventually come to mine and as I am so tired, I just let him in. He plays with my hair all night and I can't stand it.

His speech is delayed and after 13 months of waiting we got out S&L appointment to be told that there isn't much they can offer him but call them in 6 months if no improvement. eye roll, oh and he doesn't seem to be on the spectrum although nursery , and health visitor agree he may well be due to his behaviours and particulars.

I am dreading having to potty train him, he has used the toilet a few times, but refuses a helper seat or a potty.

Pull ups are a huge no go, and I worry that the transition from nappies to potty training pants (I have bought a few to try) is going to be a nightmare.

Any advice ??

Hi Violet,
i'm sorry that you're having a difficult time at the moment. Have you looked in to sensory processing issues before? You might find some suitable strategies that help your son. I've worked with children before that are very sensitive to touch, so they would only wear certain shoes that felt comfortable to them. Some children need really thick socks in winter so that they can wear boots and still feel comfortable. I've also had to cut tags out of clothes before as the sensation really irritated the child. Jeans were a big no for the children I've worked with that had sensory processing issues, they just felt too rough and stiff. All their clothes had to be soft and baggy with no tags.
With regards to toilet training, the majority of the children I've trained with sensory issues did OK with the transition. They're used to the feeling of needing to wee and poo. It's actually the thought of having to wipe themselves that's quite distressing because of the touch of the toilet paper and the smells. I used high quality padded toilet paper that was soft, had nice smellys in the bathroom and a nice scented soap for washing hands (you might have to play around to find a scent your son likes, if he's sensitive to smells). I also found that padded seats for the toilet helped as they were soft and warm, unlike a plastic potty. I hope you find something here useful and I wish you good luck on your parenting journey! Fee Xx

Thank you so much for your reply. Some very helpful comments. I will try the thick socks to maybe encourage him to wear something a bit more winter friendly.

Xx