Age for first week away from home

[Strathyre]

I was interested to know what people think is normal for a first week away from home. I understand it depends on the individual and the situation so I'm looking for a rough idea. In our situation it would be a week at grandparents house, but not grandparents DC is super close to, they see them once a month max. Background is I keep hearing DH talking to his parents about DC spending a week with them, but to my mind that is many years away! Currently DC is approaching 2 and has never been away from me for a night.

Just interested really in some examples - what worked for you?

With breastfeeding recommended until two this isn't something I'd consider even with a little one who takes a bottle because nursing is about so much more than nutrition. Primary school age but only if the child knows them very well.

Ive never left my kids for that long (baby and 5yo). The older one has done 2 nights with grandparents he is very close to. I’m about to go away for 3 nights which is a big deal to him and he’s staying home with my partner (his dad) so I couldn’t contemplate leaving him with GPs he doesn’t know well for more than 1 night I think.

my own first full week away was aged 10. I loved it. Started boarding school aged 11 - didn’t love that but not because of homesickness. I think 8/9/10+ is about right for what you’re suggesting but it depends on the child

Hell no. I have 21 month old and couldn't contemplate leaving her for anything like a week at this age, even with my own parents who she adores and sees 2/3 times a week minimum. She would just wonder where we'd gone and that thought would kill me. I have left her overnight with my mum on a few occasions and for a few consecutive night on her own with DP when I've had to go away with work and whilst I'm fine leaving her for the odd night, I will avoid doing it at all where I can at this age.
A week with distant grandparents - I'd be reluctant to do it at all until they're old enough to understand and decide for themselves.

DS from being a baby had overnight at grandparents. DD was possibly a little older, toddler stage? Only ever for one night.

Our parents are in their late 70s / 80s and 90s and two of them with cancer. No sleepovers for about 4 years.

DC have been to school / scouts residentials up to three nights. Probably both around 8 when they went for 3 nights. But never both together so one of them always needs us here.

Every holiday DC come with us. Which has been lovely. But we've got some making up to do when they get older!

You're going to get a wide variety of answers from 4 weeks to 17 probably.

The answer is when you want/need to and when you feel able.

By 2 I don't know any little kids who haven't had a single night away from one or both parents.

It's much harder if you don't have siblings or parents that will do childcare but I've done it for friends who don't.

I have a 8 and 6 year old. Think the longest they have been away from both parents is 3 (maybe 4 but I don’t think so) nights.
I wouldn’t consider a week yet because neither of them would want it (they didn’t like the 3 days) and I don’t really think they have that comfortable a relationship with anyone to be with them for a whole week.

I don't think mine have stayed out that long when they were little. I've been on holidays that were about 5 days or more but they've stayed at home with my mum who they know well. It really depends on the child, some would love it others wouldn't settle. Is there the option of them coming back earlier if they were upset or is it too far away?

It depends on the individual kids and the context (knowing and trusting grandparents and their capabilities).

one of my siblings lived with my parents when their kids were really young and the kids have stayed there many times from then on, including once for three weeks. But they are all close and the kids are at home at my parents place

as a kid I loved being away from home and have always been adventurous. One of my siblings hated it and was a home body. Kids are different.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong age. It comes down to the child, the parents, and the grandparents involved.

Eldest was probably about 14, school trip. Until then max was about 4 nights.

middle did a few Monday to Fridays from year 3 with school. a week for the first time at 16 and then went away for 3 weeks after GCSE

youngest did a week on a residential camp at 12.

i think 4 nights was my max for a long time but now they are teens a week is fine. I went away for the first time leaving them at home for a week at 16, 13 and a 20 year old who was at uni. They didn’t miss me a bit

Mine did a week away once they went to Cubs, so 8. Always been fine. That's my kids though. I'm a Scout leader and we have some that won't go on camp.

The first time they'd stayed away was Beavers at 6. Except my oldest who stayed with my mum for a few days when he was 5.

There's no way either of mine would have been happy to be away from us for a week at aged 2. I was away from my eldest for a week when my youngest was born but he was with DP in the evenings for the majority of that time. Other than that, they are now 7 and 11 and neither of them have been away without us for longer than a night. My question would be whose benefit is it for? Is it a positive benefit for your child, or is it an adult want?

My eldest is 15 and none of our three have had a week away from us. Secondary school trips haven't happened because of covid and primary school trips and Brownie trips were only two or three nights. Grandparents not interested in having them.

My sister and I stayed with Grandparents for a week when we were 8. We hated every moment, cried every day and begged to go home early (which they didn't allow). A child's safe base is at home with their parents. The occasional overnight is fine as it's a short amount of time until they return to their parents. A week with grandparents they don't know well, in a strange house with unfamiliar routines is way too much.

Thanks for all the comments. I think what I'm concluding overall is that we can't really make plans at this stage and it will depend on how they feel later on, and on how any shorter stays go.

Have these grandparents forgotten what 2 year olds are actually like? They'd probably be exhausted after a week suddenly having to care for one. An older child who can do more for themselves would be different.