Am I over indulging my 2.5 yo?

[Nianne]

My 2yo DD is real mammys girl. Most of the time I love our relationship but now I’m worried I’ve over indulged her and given her too much attention.

For example, over Christmas when friends would call to our house she would say, “Mammy come play with me” over and over until I went to play with her alone. If I didn’t go she would get upset, throw a tantrum and make everyone feel really, really awkward.
To get through these situations I’ve been turning on the TV to distract her but I know people frown on that so it’s bit awkward too.

Will she grow out of this??
I suppose I should just ignore this behaviour until she realises it’s not on but 1) I really want to be able to see my friends/other adults every once in a while and enjoy their visits and 2) I feel guilty that she’s feeling overwhelmed or insecure and I’m abandoning her!!

Thoughts/ advice??

I'm not sure you can over indulge a little one of that age if they are loved and have a good relationship with you.

Is your daughter an only child? My 2 year old is and wants to be with us for the most part and for us to play with him, unless the TV is on (I use it for a break, it's winter and he doesn't nap so a full 12 hours of toddler activities is too much for me!) I think it could be easier if he had a sibling - an older one anyway.

Anyway, it sounds normal to me and as long as there are clear boundaries for what is needed then I think it's part of being so little still 😊

Maybe she just wants your attention?
And when she doesn’t get it then she has a tantrum and gets your attention. Little children want attention - they don’t really care if it is positive or negative.
It’s an assumption that your friends felt awkward when she tantrums. Maybe they felt annoyed, unbothered or found it very loud?
She will grow out of it.
next time she does this maybe just leave the room - if it’s safe to do so.
In the mean time maybe try and see friends while going for walk - and your dd is in a pushchair or see them without here there. It will get better.

She has an 8mo younger sibling. I think that wanting to be picked up so much is due to seeing me hold her sister. But she’s far more jealous of guests than of the baby!

Im hoping she grows out of it so it’s reassuring to hear from someone else. In the meantime the suggestion to just meet people in a different location for a little while is a good idea!

I mean I think it’s a bit rude to guests if you just go off and play one on one with your daughter when they are there, but that’s a different issue.

My DD is the same and she’s 3.5 - doesn’t like it when I’m chatting to anyone else for more than a few minutes and will then launch into a series of bizarre attention-seeking behaviours, like lying face down on the floor silently until I ‘notice’.

I normally ask ‘DD are you jealous that mummy is talking to someone else?’ And to her credit she just says ‘yes’ 😂 I then say mummy is speaking to X and Y so please don’t interrupt as it’s rude.

I'd just say when you've finished chatting you'll come and play and find her a toy in the mean time. I absolutely would not leave my guest and go and play.

A relative's son is like this if she is talking to someone else. He has to constantly ask her questions, show her something etc etc and it is hard work and hard to speak to her. He just shouts louder and louder if she doesn't give him attention straight away. He is ok if he has other children there to play with half the time but still needs his mum a lot. I don't think she has helped the situation in the past and has pandered to him. Which is not good for her as she needs a break from it and never really gets one.
So think children do need to understand they can't always interrupt and have attention.