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What does/did your day look like with a baby and toddler?

8 replies

Woewhatanight · 04/01/2023 16:15

I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 week old baby, and the days are LONG. We get out once a day, softplay, walk to park, toddler group etc, but our options are fairly limited by the time of year so we do spend quite a bit of time in the house. Each outing we do I'm filled with dread that the baby will wake up and scream and we'll have to turn around and go home.

I'm interested to hear what others do or have done with their babies and toddlers all day, and when things stopped being so hard. I know this period is all about surivial... when does it get less stressful?! I'm dreaming of the day that the baby doesn't need constant naps and the toddler doesn't run away from me screeching as I try to change her nappy with her sleeping sister in the sling!

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MrsSamR · 04/01/2023 16:20

Wading in as in a very similar boat - DD1 is 2 yrs 8 months and DD2 is 10 weeks. Same as you I try and get out once a day when I have both girls but DD1 is also in nursery 3 days a week so on those days I just relax at home with DD2 having lots of cuddles. Is your eldest in childcare at all?

Woewhatanight · 04/01/2023 16:33

Thanks @MrsSamR yes she's in nursery 2 days which is a godsend, gives me time with the baby, and time to cook and sort the house out! But by the time I have the two of them at home with me again everything is a tip and my patience has evaporated!

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MrsSamR · 05/01/2023 08:35

@Woewhatanight I think some of the beat advice I got was to lower your expectations while things are tough. Don't worry if your house isn't the cleanest/tidiest and if your toddler has too much screen time or pasta for lunch 3 days in a row. You can make up for it later! I often don't have time for a shower and to do much other than feed the kids and keep them safe for a day but I still chalk that up as a win once they're both sleeping soundly at the end of a long day. You're doing a great job - it's very hard!

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WingingIt101 · 05/01/2023 09:07

Same boat!

Dd1 is nearly 3 and dd2 is 12 weeks

DH is in charge of getting toddler dressed and to nursery on her nursery days which helps hugely

On non nursery days - up between 6/7am
Get dressed between us then breakfast - that old top of putting it on the table the night before is a good one - cereal box, fruit bowl, bowl and spoon then dd1 can sit and have that whilst I feed baby.

Then usually a club for dd1 with baby in sling - that kills an hour and a bit with travel.

Back home for lunch - get toddler to help eg "can you take your cup to the table?"

Then she plays with her toys - puzzles / duplo possibly a play date if I need some adult company!

Poor baby is inevitably in the sling / bouncer chair, on my hip and I expect will want her own entertainment soon - I'm relying on toddler being more understanding as this happens!

Dinner together (usually something I can make ahead of time when I have ten mins and then shove in oven or slow cooker) then divide and conquer for bedtime - DH takes toddler whilst I feed baby.

It's a military operation and usually becomes chaos. Inevitably someone is having to wait while the other is dealt with. It's a case of whose crying is more urgent? Toddler crying because she can't make her puzzle go together? Sorry your sister is crying because she's hungry, you'll have to wait two minutes but baby crying because she's being fussy / tired but toddler upset as she fell over, then baby goes in the bouncer whilst I check toddler isn't hurt. Nobody is ever left upset for any longer than I can help but I've learnt to make my peace with only having two arms and the ability to do what I can as best I can, and sadly sometimes one of them will be upset for a minute or two!

CherryBomb87 · 05/01/2023 14:55

Oh thank you for this post, following!

7 month dd and 26 month ds, he's at nursery two days a week, we have absolutely no other support. It's better than it was, it gets better every day but honestly, it's bloody exhausting.

On a good day we will play blocks or duplo or trains etc. We'll go out all morning music or the woods or the park, he'll nap, then lunch, then I'll do chores while working really hard to keep them entertained by screaming nursery rhymes, smiling like a dc villain.

On a bad day, we'll watch TV. A lot of TV. Like today. The in laws are coming tomorrow, I'm trying to literally just do a quick tidy, hoover and put away the laundry. It's 3pm, I've tidied one room, sort of. She won't sleep unless I bounce her continuously for some reason, he does not like that and wants to sit on my head. I've done a million bottles and nappies today. At least double the normal amount.

All kids are different and if one more blog, insta mum or helpful well dressed, manicured and judgy parent tells me to just get the 2 year old to help with the chores or they they just need to learn to be bored, I swear I'll drop the kids at their house and not return until bedtime. (joking, obviously - it's been a bad day).

Messy play that's not too messy helps - like cooked, coloured spaghetti with plastic bugs or dinosaurs hidden inside. Books help. Nursery rhymes help. I've got a bag of prompts, he pulls out a sheep and we sing baa baa black sheep. A star and we sing twinkle twinkle etc. Going for a drive sometimes helps. F*ck the cost of petrol when two kids are screaming simultaneously. Oh, audio books! They help the toddler.

But for me, it's luck of the draw. Good days are amazing. Bad days make me want to go back to work. In a lighthouse, far far from shore.

Figgypuddingpiggyfudding · 05/01/2023 22:57

I have it easy with 1 toddler, just turned 2 who is so happy and easy going! We watch TV with a snack while I wake up, then it's playtime then breakfast, then get dressed and out we go.
Usually a long walk in the morning and a supermarket trip before home for lunch and then quiet time (mine doesn't nap anymore)
Afternoons might be at home or another trip out somewhere. Dinner, bath, stories, then either bed or he sits with us while we eat, then bedtime.
Full on, long days but a lot of fun!
And yes, mine actually does 'help' with the chores but we do about 5 minute bursts- empty dishwasher, put washing in machine, sort washing into piles. So it doesn't exactly fill a day but helps me keep on top! And help is the very loosest meaning of the word...

Keha · 06/01/2023 00:21

I wrote a long answer to this but deleted it! DD is nearly 3, DS is 10 weeks.
My answer would be...

Try and make meals take a while eg have lunch as a picnic. Go to toddler groups and the park a lot! Also the supermarket! At the groups DD will play and I can generally sit and feed. Have some activities in the house like play dough and stickers which I find keep the toddler sat at the table while I hold the baby (for 20 minutes maybe!). Toddler quite often has a bath...that can occupy her for a while and I sit and feed on bathroom floor.

However...by mid afternoon, all the toys are out but not being played with, the house is a state and we resort to Peppa Pig.

Some days I feel like I manage "good" parenting and me and toddler do things like make putting the washing away into a game while baby is in the sling and the house gets tidier. However many other days I just collapse on the sofa while she sticks stickers on the radiator or similar.

I do find it helps for me to plan the day the night before and to know when we'll try and get out, what groups are on, whether it's dry enough for the park etc and adjust my expectations a bit. The days can be long! Whenever I can I see if I can find people to meet up with, luckily I have a couple of friends with toddlers who work part time. I generally go and see them so the car journey kills some time as well.

Most of the above is about entertaining the toddler. DS gets held quite a bit and contact naps a lot but gets put down in a variety of bouncers, cots, play gyms etc and is left grizzling a lot more than DD ever was. He has no routine for feeds or naps, I BF so just feed when I can and he naps on me/sling/pushchair etc whenever he can!

Keha · 06/01/2023 00:26

Some ideas on here for non messy "messy" play...if anyone else has similar suggestions?

I really advocate day time baths for toddlers. Mine spent nearly an hour "cleaning" the bath tiles with a spray bottle of water today while in the bath.

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