2 (ish) year age gap - mad?

[NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet]

Hi all,

So I have a lovely 15 month old boy. Originally partner and I were thinking we would just like one, but have since (I think) changed our minds. We got talking to some mums at a toddler group the other day who said although difficult at first, a smaller gap works great for them a couple of years down the line as their children play together and are into similar things.

My sister and I have a 5.5 year gap and we didn't get on until we were adults. However my partner has 2 brothers, all close in age and they don't really get on now as they are all different people. I suppose ultimately its impossible to know how things will turn out.

Our boy is so confident and sociable, but of course this could change! If I got pregnant in a couple of months or so, providing this is possible of course, he would be 2 and some months when the new baby is born. My biggest concern is him and how he would feel about a new baby at age 2 - are we best waiting until he can perhaps understand a bit more/there might be less jealousy? Having said that I was 5 when my sister was born and I still remember how jealous I was!

Two and a bit years doesn't seem like a small gap to me, it sounds very normal. I find the idea of going back to broken nights and nappies after a few years without them very daunting. We have a very short gap (20 mths) between our two now adult children, which wasn't planned, just the way things turned out. It was very full on indeed for the first three years or so after the younger one was born, and then it gradually got easier, not least because he finally worked out how to sleep through the night. (Phew.) They got on pretty well as children once past the toddler stage, and remain close as adults.

Mine are two years apart (one of each) and it worked really well. Advantages are that you are not really out of the baby/disrupted sleep/restricted life mode so it just feels like an extension rather than another disruption. Life revolves around routines and naps so number two slots into that rhythm. Holidays/trips/ activities can be geared to a particular age rather than having vastly different capabilities/interests to be accommodated. The oldest can't remember life without the youngest, but is just old enough to feel helpful - the arrival of DS always felt like the greatest gift to DD. The bigger the gap the longer it takes for that gap to close iyswim. I have friends with a seven year gap which is almost like having two only children as they are at such different stages for such a long time. Horses for courses - do what feels right for you.

Mine are 2 years apart. It's great

I've got 2yrs 3mth age gap between my two and we are only 8 weeks in.
Initially it was really tough on my toddler, he is a real mummy's boy and I have basically been focused on the baby the majority of the time.
There were lots of tantrums and difficult behaviour in the beginning but it's been much better lately. I think he's forgotten what it was like before baby.

I find it impossible to juggle the two and rarely am alone with them both on my own. Toddler understandably gets upset that can't play with him. Is difficult for the baby, as I'm trying to settle her for a nap the toddler will barge in and start making a racket.

My toddler is at nursery 3 days and I have a mother's help come in on the other two days. My husband is excellent with the toddler and takes him out on the weekend and does all dinners, bath and bed times at the moment whilst I'm sat cluster feeding.

We are just starting to get out and about as a family to do things on the weekend so hopefully it'll get easier from here!!

Would highly recommend you have a lot of support if you go for it. It's an absolute slog and we are really in the trenches at the moment but it'll be easier once we get through this first bit.

Make sure you save up for the university years as you may have two there at once which is very expensive, as are teenagers in general! We just got one through the £30 a lesson driving lessons only for the next one to start.