Top tips for 3 DC

[Monket]

Planning to try for DC3 this year, which would mean DC1 is 6 and DC2 is 4 when we have another newborn, if all goes to plan. Any top tips for managing 3??

Have a place inside your head where you can go to during moments of intense noise and when you're overwhelmed. I say a Psalm and take a few deep breaths with my eyes closed and then I'm back to normal again! This is serious advice by the way! Find your secret place!

Following for ideas as DC3 is due in May! My elder 2 DC will be 5 and 3 😬

Organisation. And get a cleaner. And possibly pay someone to do your laundry 😂

It is all about being organised. Get clothes ready the night before, lay out breakfast stuff before you go to bed (I stick bowls and cereal on the table and use a flask to keep milk cold so we can literally come down and eat) porridge in the slow cook overnight is also a good one.

Get a pin board for the 2 older kids so you can sort out school stuff, party invites etc and just need to look at what’s going on.

A whiteboard stuck on the back of the front door so you can write down important things and double check before you leave.

Once a week go through diaries for school bits, parties, upcoming birthdays, cards, family bits and write it on a calendar.

Meal plan! And get lovely friends to not bring baby clothes for new baby, instead bring a freezer meal. That will stock you up for a few weeks at least!

Remember that even on the hardest days it will get better.

Good luck! I find it chaotic, tiring and overwhelming but at the same time there’s a real sense of being a ‘team’ in our house. I love that my table is full each night for dinner and whilst they do bicker, they do also love each other very much and it’s lovely to watch the different dynamics of each relationship. Your potential age gap means two will be at school when number three arrives which will make life easier (I had a small age gap between 2 and 3 and it was a LOT 😂)

Get ready for everyone to tell you that you have your hands full….

Lower your standards and accept that junk food, too much TV and not enough "activities" will happen at times.

Divide and conquer. If you do bedtime for older DC now is the time to get oh doing it. Allocate evening jobs for each of you so that mornings aren't chaos.

You'll be fine. I found one to two an absolute nightmare. Two to three felt like a cake walk in comparison. 😂

Family calendar with a column for everyone, plus one for birthdays etc.
More importantly- if it's not on the calendar it's not happening. All appointments for everyone!

Make sure your car is big enough for everyone including car seats, buggy etc.

Start saving for university now!

Plan for a bedroom for each child.

I found going from 2 to 3 very hard, but mine were younger 3 under 3. Get organised & declutter before arrival. Outsource whatever you can. Be organised, clothes ready, bags packed night before etc. Get up 10 minutes earlier than you think you have to. Concentrate on the important stuff not the small stuff. I have a basic kit in both vehicles even now with 4dc and a bit older, DH’s workplace, dayout backpacks etc which has baby wipes, carrier bag for wet or sick covered clothes, basic first aid kit, wrapped emergency biscuits, calpol sachets, & a thin blanket. It has been a big help on many occasions.

Drop your standards, someone will always be crying. We quite enjoy it though, it's a good chaos.

I love having 3! Congratulations. Agree with being super organised about activities/parties/diaries etc. Get a cleaner.
Accept and embrace the chaos. Acknowledge you will always be tired.
but really… it’s magic

I'm 60 now. They are 21, 26 and 29 so similar as your plans...

My top tip for happiness is to say 'yes' unless there is a very good reason to say no.

Bad reasons for saying no are ;

It's a crazy idea
It will make me too anxious (that's YOUR problem unless it would make the rest of the population anxious as well)

It's messy
It is not 'normal' ...

Good reasons are ;

It will upset other people
It's darn right dangerous by most people's understanding
It's too expensive for our family
It will make you unwell
It will take too much time away from your dad/my focus on the family.

Other than that GO for it and I will support you. Even if I don't entirely understand/agree/ like your plans.

Just here to cheer for 3DC, wish you luck with TTC and hoover up any tips I can as my resolution this year os to tey and feel a bit less like I'm always running to catch up.

But I blame that on my own personality as much as having 3 kids which is brilliant.

That is brilliant

Only 1 after school activity per child

you cant do everything, so pick the most important

try and plan strategically and not just react tactically

if you can get a babysitter for a few hours a couple of afternoons a week, then they can stay with the younger dc while you take an older dc to an activity and have one on one time. They can also get dinner started

be very firm about bedtimes and dont give an inch on midnight shenanigans. A couple of nights of cross crying is better than you loosing years off you life from sleep deprivation

I allocated each child a colour, red blue etc and then anything that belonged to them I tried to get in that colour or put a sticker of that colour on it. It save hours of trying to remember whose coat, water bottle, school bag, towel, pencil case was whose. Any when towels were left on the floor it was much easier to find the culprit and send them to tidy it up

older dc can and should help with younger dc (age appropriately)

all dc can and should help with household jobs (age appropriately)

dont get too many toys out, put most away and rotate

have a safe space to put the baby that the older dc cant get to, so you can sort out emergencies and know the baby is safe

older dc need a spot to play with small toys, sometimes playpens can be brilliant for playing with legos or playmobils

if a child doesnt want to share a toy, it must stay in their bedroom, anything in joint space is a joint toy

sharing sucks, but taking turns is acceptable

get up half an hour before the dc do and have a cup of tea in the quiet before the day starts

I have 4 dc

Organisation is the key. As is routine, but not a strict routine you can never stray from as with 3 dc, there's always something that can throw it out.

Bags packed and clothes laid out the night before.

Slow cooker/one pan meals.

At least 1 load of laundry a day, make sure you dry and put away the same day. Stops the overwhelming build up.

Don't sit in the evening until you've 'reset' your house. So dinner pots cleared, toys tidied etc.

Don't take on too many extracurricular activities.

I found my 3rd just slotted in tbh. She was on school/nursery runs from 2 days old. 0-1 was my hardest transition, 1-2 and 2-3 weren't too bad as I was already in 'mum' mode.

I was going to say the colour thing too. Another niche tip is for hand me downs:

Mark the oldest's clothes with a dot in the neck or somewhere obvious. When you pass it to dc2 add a second dot, and when you give it to the third add a third. Label all clothes in this way. It is unobtrusive and means you can sort laundry etc without checking each label, or name taping stuff that doesn't need it.

Oh and I had ‘snibs’ on the top of every door…it was a small hook and eye catch. It meant that I could lock dc out of rooms I didnt want them to get into..so baby’s room while they were napping, any room if I was stuck in a chair feeding baby. If there was an emergency you could bust it open in one major push, but it could stop toddlers who could just about reach the door handle and trash a tidy room in 20 seconds flat

Oh my word you’ve changed my life. Why on earth isn’t this on every baby how to leaflet ever. It’s so simple and so perfect!!!

Try and get them to do the same activities at the same time eg swimming, tennis etc
I’m actually about to ask if DC2 can move up into the same group at DC1 earlier than they should as it will free up an evening journey 🤞🏻

Build your network. Any friends that have similar ish age siblings invite the sibling over too. It means you get to send yours back. The house is always quieter with 1 less, and so peaceful with 2 less.

Make sure they can scooter well. If they wake the baby, by being too noisy at nap time, go for a walk for a buggy nap. Mine learnt to skateboard this way 🤣

If the weather is bad and the baby won’t settle, throw them all in the car and go ‘storm chasing’….drive vaguely in the direction of any grey clouds. Add snacks and audio books- we had Harry Potter, Roald Dahl and some Norse myths!

If you are making snacks put 3 things on the plate and drinks in a bottle so you don’t get asked again.

Let the watch TV. If feeling guilty add some programmes which relate to school topics.

We had these too 😂 you can hear them but they can't access unsafe areas solo

Deal with school paperwork as soon as it crosses your threshold.

Use a calendar.

Make shopping lists as you go along.

The TV is your friend.

My own experience was that going front would to three DCs was much easier than one to two, but DC3 was a very jolly little baby. DC4 was completely different, and that was very hard.

• going from two to three...

Aw thanks everyone, was expecting to be berated for even considering it! Some great tips here. Think I’ll use the dots-on-labels for DC1/2 now tbh, they’re quite similar in size and I do get confused about who is currently in possession of what clothing!