Baby wakes up tired after naps and is never happy

[NolanNolan]

I feel like a horrible mum.
I’m looking for some advice and/or similar experiences.
I’m so tired of my baby and I don’t know what to do.
I’m a single mum to my 5 month old son and I don’t have much support in regards to childcare. My mum helps when she can but she works full time.
He’s not an easy baby, he cries all the time, as soon as I put him down and he doesn’t sleep properly. From a few days old we’ve coslept because I was exhausted having to keep getting out of bed. He sleeps from 830pm-6am but wakes 3/4 hourly for milk still and is still only drinking 5oz at a time. He stirs regularly and wants his dummy putting back in (another reason I struggled with the cot) and he refuses to sleep on his back and will only sleep on his side. This has been the case since he was about a week old. I’ve spoken to both the gp and health visitor and no one has any answers for me.
In the day time he cat naps for 20/30 minutes at a time and it has to be on me he won’t go down for a sleep. He will sleep in the pushchair occasionally but it has to be constantly moving as soon as it stops he wakes. If he does have an hour or more he still wakes up tired and is crying and rubbing his eyes and tensing his body throwing himself backwards as if having a tantrum after 5 minutes of being awake. He also has to be constantly stimulated or entertained he’s never happy playing on his play mat or in his jumperoo for more than a few minutes.
I’m starting to feel like I don’t enjoy having him because I’m on edge waiting for him to cry again and I don’t know what to do anymore

It will get easier I promise. Your in the thick of the crap stage that nobody tells you about. I remember it well. I remember standing by my daughters cot having to rock her to sleep then try to lay her down without her realising I wasn't holding her anymore. Then her waking at some point. It's boring and feels relentless and never ending but I promise you it will get better. I don't really have much advice just that it gets better as they get older. They seem to be smart buggers at thst age and sense when you want and need a moment alone. Try not to despair xx

Yeah I feel a lot like this with mine (10 months) and I sometimes don’t want to be around her because of the endless Groundhog Day and shrieking and whinging she does all the time, not to mention her awful sleep and constant overtiredness too.

Mine hates the car and pushchair but if yours is okay can you get out as much as you can? Walk, shop, get coffee, just get out of the house and break up the day? Let him sleep in the pushchair if he will and keep your sanity. I’ve honestly found that in terms of sleep their needs change so much that it’s pointless getting worked up over the routine. I don’t really have a choice because mine won’t sleep in the car or pushchair and will only sleep at someone else’s house if she’s attached to my boob the whole time which sometimes I just can’t deal with sitting uncomfortably in the dark for 1.5hrs with her latched on.

I try to remind myself of all her positive traits and that she won’t be this young forever so to try and enjoy the moments I can whilst I can.

the nights really can be hellish but it does help to remind myself that she’s small and helpless and she’s not doing it on purpose.

If he can roll over putting him on his back isn't necessary if he'd prefer to be settled on his side.

Thank you I really appreciate the replies. It has genuinely made me feel less alone in this.
Being on my own and doing every night feed and early morning has taken its toll on me and being down myself worries me that it’s had an effect on him and that’s why he’s so unhappy.
as awful as this sounds I absolutely can’t wait for him to get a bit older and be able to move around and entertain himself independently because I think that’ll take a massive strain off me. I love playing with him etc but sometimes it would be nice to be able to put him in his jumperoo with the tv on and just sit down myself for 5 minutes or maybe wash the pots or do some washing!

yes he can roll onto his side when he’s awake but when he’s asleep he sometimes falls onto his back and that wakes him and so he cries. When he’s worked up he won’t roll himself back over I have to do it for him.

Sounds like my DS. Really high needs, frustrated, stimulation seeking, cat napping, grumpy baby. Hats off to you because I only just survived his first year and I have an excellent DH. To be honest, the only healer was time. He turned into an easy toddler when he learnt to walk and talk and has stayed that way ever since.

My 13month DD has been high needs from day 1, reading up on high needs babies helped. But its very hard I know 💐

@NolanNolan oh I feel you! My baby is 5m old and I find it so hard !! Even though she's in a good routine and does nap - just fights tiredness a bit! But I'm sooo tired and do have a supportive DH who does so much when he's not at work so when I'm alone I find it so hard
Hats off to you - where are you based ? Have you tried peanut app for support ? Always find it helpful when you find other mums going through similar x