Arrrrrgh toddler!

[fajitaaaa]

I am fed up of being climbed on, pulled about, constant mummy mummy mummy. It's non stop. Won't listen when I say no. At the end of my tether. I've shouted a few times then felt totally guilty about it. DC is 2.5

I'm such an awful mother. Does this get better or am I just rubbish at this?

It gets better (ish) 😂 I was very firm about certain things, in particular things that either hurt (hair pulling) or things that were dangerous (grabbing onto me whilst I was cooking or drinking a hot drink etc)
She doesn't do it anymore unless she's very tired but it took about 2 months of being very very strict about it with a firm "NO"

Ok so if I keep going with NO and moving their hand off me it should get better if I keep at it? At the moment I'm just saying no on repeat and I feel terrible but then they come back to jump on me or rip my hair out again its horrible. I want to cry most days.

@fajitaaaa yes that's what I did - it obviously takes time but you've got to be consistent with it. I physically untangle my hair etc out of her hands and instead hold her hand. Also stroking hair is ok, but she can't grab it and pull or use it as a comfort thing!

Ok thank you!

yeah it's normal but you have to be so consistent and firm for yourself to break out of it.

I didn't use "no" on its own I tried to be more specific e.g. "no pulling hair" or "no standing on me", and I would stop my toddler at the same time immediately.
If it repeats (or it's something that you need to stop immediately) if necessary add the minimum prevention needed to enforce i.e. "if you pull my hair again I'll stand up/get you down/move to the other sofa" and then follow through.

Then I go for "do you want me to come back? are you going to do it again?" and if calm etc I will go back, usually that does the trick to break out of it.

I did walk out the room a few times but that wasn't so good especially without warning because it upsets them as you have abandoned them. So try to keep the consequence to the minimum to protect yourself effectively. And the clear communication is important, if I miss that and skip ahead it upsets either my child or myself!

There are also things like timeout/naughty step/thinking corner but I haven't found that necessary for my child (3y3m) and I would keep that as a last resort.

Current challenge is really piercing screeches when something isn't going well....

Good luck, it will get better as long as you keep at it.

If you want to break out of the negativity of the 'no' cycle, try phrasing things positively i.e. want they should do instead of what they shouldn't.

'Be gentle with my hair'
'Gentle hands'
'here, sit next to me'

Save a sharp 'no' for when it's really dangerous/painful and it will have more impact. They do no-deaf otherwise.

The other thing to do is to look at what the behaviour is communicating. Is it attention seeking? Or maybe seeking physical touch/input? Or needing to expel some physical energy? Look for a more positive way for them to get what they need. If it's physical touch/energy try making an assault course with cushions or helping them to do some roly polys or similar. You could also look into swimming or a baby gym class as a way to strengthen a physical relationship that isn't them attacking you!

As others I phrase it rather than just no.
My child responds to no sometimes by going full throttle even more so I found I needed to explain what I wanted him to stop.

If he comes back for me, I walk out the room.