2 1/2 year old constantly waking - solution?

[Doyoulikedebt]

Any suggestions please?

Every single night we have to repeatedly go into DD2 as she constantly wakes up calling out for us. We never get her out of the cot & she often only needs a drink & very occasionally help finding her dummy, but she can wake nearly every hour doing this & the timing is just when I've drifted back off to sleep myself so its become like torture! This Xmas period she's slept in because of the night wakings but once we go back to nursery she'll need to be up at 7am which is hard when she's been awake at 5am calling us. I feel like I've put up with it for so long there now needs to be something done.

She no longer naps in the day because that made the night wakings worse (although her nursery spot she's tired from rubbish sleep & let her nap which makes it harder for us to rectify) & CIO is too difficult because she shares a room with her older sibling so that'll mean everyone awake at night. Plus, knowing her personality she won't give up easily & go to sleep.
She's too young to grasp bribery & sticker charts etc so that won't work for us yet & co sleeping would be impossible. We've aged 20 years since having her, our other child slept through from 1, & we are always ill picking up every cold surviving on broken sleep.
She seems too old to be having these sleeping issues & it's affecting her & our family.

No idea really but we are exactly the same - 2 year old waking every 2-3 hours, has done since birth. Also shares a room with sibling so can't do sleep training easily either. Our health visitor has asked us to move sibling into our room for 2 weeks and try sleep training. If that makes no difference she is going to refer our son for blood tests in case he has low melatonin (sleep hormone) levels and to check his ferritin levels as this can cause restless leg syndrome in babies and toddlers.
Have you spoken to your GP or health visitor about it?
Could your LO have either of the above or sleep apnoea?

Thank you @MonChoufleur123, its reassuring to know I'm not the only one! We have a health visitor coming next week so I'll ask their opinion. We may switch around rooms to try some sleep training & hope it won't cause too much disruption for the other one. Thanks for sharing your experience too.

Lots of children with dummies can't self soothe when they wake and can't find them....we all wake and self settle just don't remember it....so getting off the dummy may help.
Does she go to sleep in her own bed without you?

Yes she has always been good at self settling for day time naps & at the start of the night. Its just after that she wakes & calls out. I can't see her giving up the dummy anytime soon & don't know which battle would be best to pick first, maybe that one if its affecting the night time I suppose. I have asked her why she keeps waking up & her reply is only ever "I don't know" 😀

She won't know it just happens to everyone like I said, but if you're used to falling asleep sucking something that has fallen out you need to find it before you fall asleep again. If you crack the not needing it that's one cause out of the way. Why do you not think she will lose the dummy does she have it all day long?

Is there any way you can co-sleep? Mine has been a shit sleeper from birth, we tried everything (Inc sleep training) but now co-sleep and it really really helps.

(NB mine is 2.5 too)

She doesn't have it all day, we limit the use but I know it'll take some time to reduce & get rid altogether. I often wonder if she is allowed it all day at nursery but that's another thing. Do you have any tips on the best way to tackle taking away the dummy?
We've never had any luck bringing her into our bed & as it happens very rarely is seems fun for her & almost becomes like a game. Fortunately she seems keen to be in her own bed too so I want to stick with that if I can, I'm concerned it's me making things a habit & don't want to introduce another one & make matters worse.

Put loads of dummies in and a bottle/beaker of water. Show how/where to find them. Then leave her to sort herself out when she wakes. Move the older one out for a bit if you think she's going to get woken up.

Wouldn't bring into your bed that can be years of no quality sleep. I'd stop dummy for day times including naps then when she settles without start doing bedtime ....once you do it no going back dummies have all gone....it's generally a few days but if you've got rid of them all it's easier....if you cave it will be harder.
Do your other children wake at the moment if she cries? Mine slept through everything I could even hoover

Why? It's not good for teeth to be sucking all night, advice is to get them off bottles and dummies not increase it.

Gro clock? It tells her when it’s time to stay in bed and when she’s allowed to come in to you.

I can't see that it will increase the sucking she's already doing, it will just mean she can serve herself with water when she needs it and find her own dummy when it gets lost thereby meaning she doesn't need to wake the OP.

You can use a cup instead of a bottle if preferred, you just want whatever isn't going to spill in the middle of the night!

But unless she's going to be using dummies when she's 7 or older at some point to avoid the deformation of teeth and associated problems with speech she needs to drop her dummies anyway (NHS recommends 6 to 12 months) and then your going to have the issue of retraining self soothing anyway. Why not solve the problem now not in a year or mores time when LO is more resistant to ditching it?
I've supported numerous children in ditching dummies and self settling it's easier done earlier

I disagree, I think it's easier and kinder to do it a little bit older when they understand what's happening.

But, different strokes for different folks right?

Sorry I'm taking so long to reply, had unexpected visitors show up.
OK so tackling the dummy in the daytime may help the nighttime more than I thought. I do wonder whether me saying no to water might be better too, the association of waking with having some water isn't helping. If there's no reason to call out then she may not bother. With it being the season of colds & bugs I always want to give water in case she does actually need it, sore throat etc.

Her sibling mostly sleeps through,but being 5 she also wakes with nightmares, growing pains, questions about the universe...so then it's another wake up to add.
I admire yours for sleeping through hoovering!!

I've worked with children over 28 years as long as you don't always make it silent they learn to sleep through normal household sounds including crying. I've always found cracking things in the day first eases the night time. Children arrive with dummies and comforters in the day and put them in their bags not mentioning them again until sleep or parents arrive ....once they've settled in of course. Sitting next to them for a few minutes with a gentle hand on can help settle rather than offering drinks

Thank you, I really appreciate the tips & guidance. Tomorrow is a new day so we will see how things go with reducing the dummy. She could be ready to get rid me & it's me thinking she isn't & holding her back. If only I could just click my fingers & the entire household gets a full night's sleep!

No advice but here to say we're going through the same. Although we went cold turkey with dummy 2 weeks ago and it was so much easier than I expected (only asked for it a couple of times!) we just distracted him as much as we could if he was looking for it!
Recently he's been waking in the night just shouting our names, I usually check his nappy as I'm unsure if it's because he's wet then lay him back down and say firmly it's bed time. Sometimes works sometimes doesn't 🤣 x

I know this is an old post but my 2 year old isn't sleeping and I'm desperate for some advice! I'm like the walking dead! Please can you let me know how your LO has got on in the last 6 months? Did you get rid of the dummy? Any tips for a tired mum?
Thanks

@pecanpie101 it's not the reply you're going to want I'm afraid, but I think we ended up just getting use to it. We didn't get rid of the dummy until this summer so she could understand it was going. She still wakes up once or twice a night but no where near as bad. I can't remember us doing anything drastic to fix the sleep problem so we must have just got through it somehow. Maybe consider getting rid of the dummy - if you're hardly getting any sleep now then it can't get any worse. I'm sure she must have just turned a corner around the 2yr 4mo mark. Sorry I can't be much more help, I relied on sugar, caffeine & whinging about how tired I was to anyone that would listen.

Ohhh nooo 😢😢
I'm glad your situation has improved a little. Maybe I will get rid of the dummy, I don't feel things can get any worse!
Thanks for the update, I really appreciate it 😊