Can’t stop being overprescribe of daughter around in-laws

[Mumma1994]

since having my baby nearly 6 months ago and honestly find myself getting so worked up by everything my in-laws do around my daughter. I had a great relationship with them before she was here

i feel like some boundaries were overstepped for me when she first arrived and I can’t get over it and feel so silly

when I was in labour my MIL was messaging constantly asking for every single detail and why isn’t she just getting induced (we were sending updates if anything was happening) but obviously couldn’t be on our phone the whole time, then we had bub by c section; we weren’t even out of recovery and they were asking to come to the hospital, told them we would let them know when we were ready (long 2.5 days labour and then c section), still constantly messaging and calling asking to come. Then because I had a c section I was home as I couldn’t drive for 6 weeks and they came over when ever they wanted without even checking if we were up for visitors, FIL kissed our baby with a dried cold sore on his lip and started biting her finger nails off

i am just so frustrated and can’t get over it even 6 months later

what can I do to get over this

That's horrendous. I don't think I could ever get over this. I think it's an incredibly sensitive and vulnerable time and what happens in this time will always affect us hugely. You're not to blame for that - your in laws are

I feel the same. I still can't get over my in laws overstepping boundaries and it was over a year ago. It's so hard.

I would not try to just get over it. I would be telling them how I feel, how irresponsible FIL was and also your husband who should have protected you from all this stress at the beginning. He could easily have said we will be in touch when we can I need to focus on my wife now when you were in labour.

Oh trust me he did tell them that we would let them know when we were ready but they kept blowing his phone up. He was getting quite frustrated as they weren’t listening

just feeling so frustrated as I am still so up right around them and I never once had a problem before that

What are they like now?

Why didn't he just say I'll let you know and turn off his phone then? Can't he stand up to them?

I could’ve written this

not exactly but massively having my boundaries overstepped and sure enough 15 months later I still hate them around my little one and feel anxious when I know we’re all going to be together

it’s their fault OP. I don’t have much advice really other than stick to your boundaries and decisions and never let him do something you aren’t happy with

My mil did something like this to me when I gave birth 16 years ago - still not over it

To be honest they aren’t too bad now, but I get so anxious they are going to overstep their mark of being grandparents, not her parents due to the first 2 months of her life that I can’t relax when they are around her now

i don’t want how I feel to affect her relationships with them as they are good people, but yeah it amazes me 6 months later I can’t relax when they are with her