A place to vent..had it up to here with Threenager DS...

[julz87]

He's ruined our Xmas hols I'm sad to say. Can anyone in the same boat shout out for some solidarity?

DH and I are trying our hardest to do the right thing. To pick our battles, to discipline at the right times, to give loving attention, to make him laugh, to encourage independent play.
BUT, he argues with everything, he's incredibly whiny, he poos his pants (wees he's concurred somehow), he refuses to eat, he always seems to have some kind of low grade cold, he demands we do everything for him, he refuses bed time, he needs a nap but at the same time he doesn't, he is literally taking over our lives.

DH and I have had arguments because we're so stressed with him and his constant moaning and arguing.
My DPs tell me to be more firm, but I would literally have to be firm with him all day every day.

Last day tomorrow before back at nursery Tuesday, I wish I could say Christmas was the rest I needed from work, sadly I'm looking forward to going back.

Anyone else feel like a failed parent and a bit low?

12 months ago I could have written that post and worse. No sleep, poor eating, lashing out. We had a horrible horrible Christmas. But, happy to report that this Christmas has been a pleasure. It’s been exhausting and heNs often been hard work but at 4 years and 2 months he is a different and altogether nicer creature. We tried everything over the course of the year, I’m not sure anything particularly worked. Just keeping on keeping on. Parent the way you feel most comfortable and just hope it comes good in the end because it really most likely will. And in the meantime just keep talking to your husband and acknowledging how hard you’re both finding it so you’re on the rollercoaster together. I hope things are brighter soon.

@AutumnVibes Thank you so much.. I really needed your post and it has given me some hope. I've been feeling so depressed, feeling like DH and I are good people and we've somehow created a monster, questioning our parenting skills and feeling like everyone else has a better time of it.
Glad to hear you've had a better Christmas this year! Sounds like you deserve it given you went through what I've been through this year 😊.

I have felt really quite depressed too at times. Also spent a lot of time googling various things he might have (ADHD etc) and asking people what I’m doing wrong. I’m a teacher and work with ‘difficult’ children so felt like I was (mainly) doing the right things but the results were so bad I was feeling totally at sea. We had a baby in January too though which I think prolonged and amplified the issues. So hopefully yours will come good quicker. Just keep doing the right things even when it looks and feels totally pointless. Out of nowhere mins will suddenly do something I’ve been trying to get him to do for months and it feels so so rewarding to think that it was going in, even when it looked like it wasn’t. For instance we’ve had some hellish mealtimes, running about, even throwing food, eating nothing etc. But now, I’d say 6/7 times out of 10 he will say come to the table nicely when asked, eat a reasonable if still often a bit too little amount and without being asked say ‘thank you for this lovely dinner’. Quite literally unthinkable last Christmas. Sending strength for 2023!