how to feel more positive about parenting?

[Welshfiver]

don't normally go for new year's resolutions but my partner recently pointed out that I am very negative about our lives with our toddler (15 months) at times, so I thought I might try and find ways to feel a bit happier about things.

I think I see it all as very repetitive and boring, been ill all the time since starting nursery a couple of months back, and when I look ahead I just see more of the same. Not walking yet so hard to know what to actually spend the days doing. I guess the time of year doesn't help.

so if you enjoy this, what are the thoughts you have about it? do you have ways of getting into a more positive mindset?

It changes so much. I only really started to enjoy parenting when my oldest was 18m and the talking began in earnest. It changes everything. It also comes with its own challenges, but it fundamentally changed the game, added interest and depth to our lives. Just wait a bit longer, 15m is tough

Plan!

I was a SAHP and planned each weeks activities and had some on the back burner. For example I always had paper glue and ‘rubbish’ for making stuff - cellotape and cards to make games with -
We went to play groups and out with friends and had chill out days at home.

The summer was easier as we had the garden to play in.

If you want to change something then plan for it.

thanks for replying, when he does something new I do find it exciting. just feel like I'm dragging myself through the days at times. still needs two naps as well so its hard to plan a lot

I feel like he is a bit young for some of this. a 'chill out' day at home would be him wrecking the place and he has a v short attention span for any sort of game. i will take him out more though, I think that is probably a big part of it

Get out the house every morning, don’t let naps restrict you. He will learn to nap on the go. If you’re lucky you can transfer to the house, or get a drive through coffee (go to the loo before you leave anywhere)

I would do something like:

• swimming, doesn’t have to be an expensive ‘activity’ could just go to the council pool
• soft play and have a snack/coffee
• church hall type toddler group
• rhythm time/music class
• cafe/shopping/park

Then the odd day at home. Honestly the days go so much faster and you have more fun with them when you aren’t stuck at home.

Something maybe a little bit silly that has really helped me is something I saw on, I think it was tiktok actually.

The man said when he’s having a challenging day with his children, he thinks what if in the future he got to time travel exactly back to this moment, and see his (by then grown up) child at this age again? How happy he’d be, and how much he’d delight in this moment.

It actually brought a tear to my eye and it’s helped sometimes. Like my youngest is seven and hates to go to bed and it’s the worst because it’s my only one on one time with my husband…but then I think, one day he’ll be grown up and if I could travel back to right now, when he’s still so small really, with his missing front teeth and all, and hug him one more time before bed? I’m sure I’d give anything to do it. So why not do it now?

I’m possibly rambling now because it’s 6:30 am my time and I haven’t slept much yet and I’m a bit delirious 🤣

But anyway, sometimes it works enough to get me into the mindset where I feel calm enough to salvage my mood and the day, if that makes sense.

Thanks everyone
I do sometimes think I'll regret not enjoying this more, but then still find it hard to enjoy it!

Eh, it happens. I swear I didn’t enjoy much about parenting my eldest from about the ages of 9 to 13 or so. That sounds awful but for some reason it was just tough! He’s 15 now and the issues are bigger and harder (that old “bigger kids, bigger problems” thing is by God true 😫) but the other stuff is so much more enjoyable. He’s properly funny now, and I enjoy spending time with him so much more than I did at those ages.

I often find it hard to enjoy too! It's not just you. It's really hard slog! I found 10- 18 months peak age for church playgroups.

Still having those hard days at 4, but it is more enjoyable.
I found 18 months quite a turning point.

Things we done/still do to keep both of our sanities;
Swimming
Soft play
Play group
Cafe (Morrisons is a firm fave and cheap as chips)
Library also has classes on
Park
Feeding ducks
Garden in warmer weather.

I keep messy play for nursery as I'm not the best or most creative but he loves bubble bath in the kitchen sink with big spoons, plastic bowl etc, I put food colouring in. This keeps him enetertained for ages.

I think when you know what you are doing daily/getting yourself out the house it does make you feel better.

Im not one for forced positivity. It’s okay to say this is a stage of life to survive. I found the ‘brains of a toddler but not walking yet’ stage really, really difficult as well (mine walked at about 15-16 months, so relatively late). It gets better when they can walk, in my opinion. Agree that church toddler groups are great. They kill a lot of time for minimal money. As cute as they are at circa 1, I’ve found it exponentially easier past 18-20 months most definitely.