Feeling like I’m doing something wrong

[naomi94]

Hi all , I’m a first time mum with a beautiful little boy he has just turned 17 weeks.
He was a little angel as a newborn only woke really once in the night and shortly after slept right through until 7. I think he is going through a regression and is now difficult to put down at night - constant wake ups , I have resorted to bringing him into the bed with us and his eyes instantly close. He seems happy which makes me happy but I also feel guilty for not having him in a routine where he is happy to sleep in his cot (next to me) have use any tips for sleep training or any other parents co sleep with their babies?

You're not doing anything wrong, babies just want to be with Mummy! He's in the 4 month sleep regression, which doesn't really pass as they won't fall asleep so easily from now on

Create positive sleep associations (eg darkness, white noise, sleeping bag) and put him to sleep in his bed. You can stay with him and hold his hand or pat his tumny so he knows you're nearby

Lots of people do cosleeping but it's much more liberating to have them in their own bed!

I didn’t cosleep with DD1 until she was 6 months old but with DD2 I did son from the second night. He wants to be next to you were it’s safe and warm. Millions of women around the world will be cosleeping with their babies tonight.

Thanks! I totally understand it’s such a natural thing. It’s just he is literally already laying next to me in his own cot he can see me but still wants to be in our bed - whatever keeps him happy I just sometimes think I’m going backwards as he used to sleep all through the night. I know he’s going through the regression , that’s why I thought more so now to try and give him some routine. He has his white noise, darkness and sleeping bags from the get go. You can’t be mad at them for wanting a cuddle eh, it’s more his own safety. I do feel I’m a light sleeper and I don’t move but there’s always that risk.

You're not doing anything wrong, there are no rights or wrongs unless it is about safety issues. Look into safe cosleeping, if you feel you can follow the "safe 7 rules" then it's a choice you can make. Sleep will go up and down and it's not a competition. I know so many people who had babies that slept really well at a certain point and then sleep went to pot a few months later, and then got better again. You just have to try an d work out what is important to you with sleep and see if you can make it work and then remember this time next year it'll probably be very different even if you don't do anything. I have coslept, because I liked the fact that my LOs would sleep in quite late with me rather than being up at 5:30, I also wouldn't have the patience or consistency to do sleep training and me and DH don't mind them in our bed. If you really want them in a different bed or sleeping through etc you might have to make other choices with other pros and cons.

Sleep isn’t linear it doesn’t start off awful then slowly get better. It gets better and worse all the time.