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Original poster

Weaning off screen time

20 replies

LivingDeadGirlUK · 30/12/2022 20:16

Has anyone fallen into the habit of a lot of screen time but managed to wean the child off it and reintroduce healthy limits?

My son is 5 and is obsessed with minecraft, youtube and the tablet. The computer or TV are his first port of call every day and we have had some stress in the family which has meant we have relied on screen time a lot to keep him busy.

I'm trying to implement more healthy limits on screen time but its a real slog, he won't do anything else independently (an only child) so no screen time means I'm not getting anything else done either.

I guess I know what needs to be done really, but if anyone can share a positive outcome for this situation it would be a real moral boost!

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Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/12/2022 20:53

We have slipped into too much screen time a few times and had to reign in it.

It goes ok after an initial kick back.

I’ve just be honest about it not being healthy. The type of things we need to do to stay healthy (physically and mentally) and trying to do a mix of all those things.

I have found the longer they go in the morning without screen the easier the day. Also I usually have an hour of moaning “I’m bored” before they finally settle into an activity like drawing. Could you plan a few days where you need to be straight out and have things planned so the first few days are easier.

Spaghetti201 · 30/12/2022 20:54

I had this. I turned the wifi off and pretended the internet was broken!

stargirl1701 · 30/12/2022 20:55

Turn off the Wi-Fi. Put the TV in the loft.

3 days of tantrums/moaning and you'll be reset.

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CorpusCallosum · 30/12/2022 21:09

There's a FB group 'the limited screen time family' which is full of great advice.

I'd plan with your child to have a week long screen free detox. Plan lots of other activities, maybe a box of things they can pull from or ideas written on lolly sticks in a jam jar that they can pull out - they can have lots of input into this. Then you're setting everyone up for success.

There will be tantrums. And need to anticipate an adjustment period while you get comfortable with your child being 'bored' and pestering you for entertainment (which you do not have to provide!!).

Then at the end of the week you can either reintroduce screens on your terms (eg as and when it's convenient for you) or you can decide with your child what a healthy limit is. You can always do another reset week if things get out of hand again.

Good luck, the grass IS greener on the other side!! 🙌

Original poster
LivingDeadGirlUK · 30/12/2022 21:10

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/12/2022 20:53

We have slipped into too much screen time a few times and had to reign in it.

It goes ok after an initial kick back.

I’ve just be honest about it not being healthy. The type of things we need to do to stay healthy (physically and mentally) and trying to do a mix of all those things.

I have found the longer they go in the morning without screen the easier the day. Also I usually have an hour of moaning “I’m bored” before they finally settle into an activity like drawing. Could you plan a few days where you need to be straight out and have things planned so the first few days are easier.

Thats interesting as I was thinking of trying a hour in the morning to get it out the system but maybe thats not helpful.

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/12/2022 21:11

@LivingDeadGirlUK yep! I wondered if it was because they had already had 10 odd hours away from screen so maybe they weren’t craving it as much (isn’t it supposed to released like dopamine or something similar in the brain).

Original poster
LivingDeadGirlUK · 30/12/2022 21:11

CorpusCallosum · 30/12/2022 21:09

There's a FB group 'the limited screen time family' which is full of great advice.

I'd plan with your child to have a week long screen free detox. Plan lots of other activities, maybe a box of things they can pull from or ideas written on lolly sticks in a jam jar that they can pull out - they can have lots of input into this. Then you're setting everyone up for success.

There will be tantrums. And need to anticipate an adjustment period while you get comfortable with your child being 'bored' and pestering you for entertainment (which you do not have to provide!!).

Then at the end of the week you can either reintroduce screens on your terms (eg as and when it's convenient for you) or you can decide with your child what a healthy limit is. You can always do another reset week if things get out of hand again.

Good luck, the grass IS greener on the other side!! 🙌

This might work well when school starts again.

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Original poster
LivingDeadGirlUK · 30/12/2022 21:12

He rushes down every morning to play minecraft!

OP posts:
troppibambini6 · 30/12/2022 21:16

We have no screens in the week so (except T.V.)
That's way there is no grey area. If they are well behaved in the week the can go On them on Friday night.
Even at the weekend no screens til after lunch or they will be getting up early to go on them.

ToddleToddleToddle · 30/12/2022 21:43

Agree with the others - go cold turkey for a week or so. Then after the detox allow him limited screentime in the afternoon

Tipster100 · 30/12/2022 22:32

We often find for whatever reasons screen time has suddenly got out of control. My husband often tries to set limits but these don't work I find (we have timers on the iPads that mean they can only use them 2 hours a day but they tend to ask me to extend their time when I'm really busy and do it to keep them quiet and suddenly
The whole idea fails). During term time I ban screens all week until Friday evenings and then have the timers on at the weekend. The kick back
Can be horrendous for the first 3 days but once you've done it the next time
Is not so bad. The difference in their
Behaviour is massive and I
Think they're happier when the times are reduced.

Adviceneeded200 · 30/12/2022 22:36

Slightly depends on what they are doing.

My son didn't have much when he was 5 because he's mid 20s now, so the options were more limited back then. However he did spend a lot of time on computers, and building them, when he was a teen....got a great job at 18 software programming. So.......there are arguments for it!

mac1974 · 31/12/2022 00:23

Yes we had this with our now 8yo DD. Admittedly lockdown didn't help. She was terrible but she's grown out of it fortunately as she has discovered other hobbies. Don't get me wrong she still enjoys screen time but it's definitely a better balance now.

SchoolSurvey · 31/12/2022 00:53

Spaghetti201 · 30/12/2022 20:54

I had this. I turned the wifi off and pretended the internet was broken!

I'd love to do this. Shame my dh is not only a gamer / screen addict but also a big fan of watching lots of sports and films, so our TV is on pretty much constantly (and our sons have followed suit...).

Original poster
LivingDeadGirlUK · 31/12/2022 11:30

Adviceneeded200 · 30/12/2022 22:36

Slightly depends on what they are doing.

My son didn't have much when he was 5 because he's mid 20s now, so the options were more limited back then. However he did spend a lot of time on computers, and building them, when he was a teen....got a great job at 18 software programming. So.......there are arguments for it!

I totally agree, I am very techy and build my own PCs, am an engineer and my partner is a software engineer but its hours of mindless youtube that we end up falling into.

Minecraft is an educational game and I have no issue with him playing it, I play myself, but he gets obsessed. He has suspended adhd so its understandable.

This morning has gone ok, we had 30 mins of minecraft first thing and one youtube video. Bit of whining but distracted with new xmas toys. His dad is up now though and hes the main screen time instigator!

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NuffSaidSam · 31/12/2022 11:40

You need to go cold turkey to reset things.

Make sure you give him a warning that this is going to happen and explain why. Then stick to it, all of you not just DS! You need to follow the rules too (at least when he can see you).

I'd make a plan of what to do with him during the detox to make it easier. This doesn't need to be big days out or anything, but have a pool of ideas to draw from. This should include some stuff he can do by himself, stuff that will involve you or DH engaging fully with him and lots of fresh air and exercise.

If he struggles, which it sounds like he will, sympathise with him (should be easy for.you and DH), but reiterate why you're doing it and stay firm.

Longwhiskers · 05/01/2023 19:56

We’re the same as one of the other posters - no tablet type screens during the week ( a bit of TV after school) and only after lunch on the weekend.

Longwhiskers · 05/01/2023 20:03

It is tricky but I think if you have firm boundaries eg no screens in the morning ever or no screens in the afternoon etc it might work better?

hennylovespens · 05/01/2023 20:15

One of mine is particularly screen obsessed and always has been, but I don't back down and don't give in to tantrums. I find if you just ride it out and stay calm but firm they do stop eventually and then going and find something else to do and are much happier for it. (Though the house then gets trashed.)

visual timers counting down how long they've got left helps and getting them to turn devices off independently- that's for my good mum days. Sometimes I just turn it off and let tantrums go.

Getting into the habbit of not automatically turning it on is helpful too.

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