How long did you feed to sleep for and how did you stop

[JulianCasa]

Esp breastfeeding?

Ive fed my baby to sleep every night. Wondering how I can gradually move away from it (without introducing a bottle instead - if baby’s having milk I’d rather they just have boobie).

Obv partner has done bottles when I’ve gone out.

Ideally I’d like to stop feeding to sleep by 2 years at the latest really. Just not sure how to manage this gently.

Are you just wanting to stop feeding to sleep or are you wanting to stop feeding overnight too (assuming you're still doing this)? Or both?

I've done both with bf DC and I'd approach them slightly differently. Also, how old is DC?

Oh God I still feed and then DD goes to sleep and she is 3.5 yrs but she has no problem just going to sleep with cuddles from DH.

Im following for advice.

DC is 13 months. Only feeding overnight when poorly now! Which is a lot at the moment to be fair 😂 but DC usually sleeps through.

Trying to encourage dropping day feeds. This also is going quite well (bar when poorly). We’re down to 2-3 ish day feeds inc morning and bedtime feed. Overnight is 0-1.

Dont think I need to worry about the overnight as DC dropped this themself but they rely heavily on bedtime feed to go to sleep.

@upfucked at that age let DH do bedtime for a fortnight. Then say "no, boobs (or whatever your DC calls them) are sleeping" when they ask. You might get tears for a couple of nights but it'll be fine.

I need advice too. My DD is 2 years 2 months and still can only fall asleep after feeding. The dentist said i need to stop because breastmilk is 15% sugar 😢

I just followed my son's lead. He started sleeping through the night at 17 months despite bfing and feeding to sleep. All breastfeeding stopped at 20 months, except the feeding to feed. He then fed to sleep twice a day (nap and bed). It finally stopped at 23 months when I got pregnant. He wanted to continue but obviously didn't like the changes so he wouldn't latch on. He was only half upset about it for maybe two weeks, then he was fine! He now just chats to me, cuddles into me and goes to sleep.

my ds naturally doesn't fall a asleep with a bottle and hasn't done since about 6 months (this is an estimate) he's 12 months now he has a bottle before bed but goes asleep with dummy/cuddles.

I didn't do anything particular he just never went in the end with just a bottle lol sorry I can't give much advice.

You've got an awful long time before DC is 2, so do you actually need to worry about this now? (I say this as you only mention your motivation being stopping feeding by the time they're 2, so I'm wondering if this is really a problem that needs tackling now?). If they've dropped night feeds by themselves and you're happy with the day feeds, is feeding to sleep a problem? You could just see how the next 6 months plays out and they may drop it naturally. My DD is now 22 months and she sleeps entirely differently than when she was just 13 months. She now goes down by herself in her cot - unthinkable when she was 13 months. And she did that gradually by herself. I still breastfeed her, but only once in the morning. I clean her teeth before bed, she's offered water, and then she is left to fall asleep by herself (with me sat silently in the corner of the room).

If you do want to actively tackle this now, then using DP is a good idea as it is a clearer break from the breast. Either DP or you could start trying to put DC in the cot without any feed and use other methods (depending on your own parenting style - this can include lots of support or minimal support). Feeding to sleep stopped working with my DD by about 15 months - it just no longer got her to sleep, but she did still need support to fall asleep - I started with lots of support (sitting right next to the cot, hand holding etc), and then I slowly moved away from the cot until I'm now sat by the door. I want to be able to leave the room while she's still awake, but think this is still a few months off. I have a low tolerance for crying, but you could do all of the above very quickly if you don't mind more 'harsh' styles of sleep training

I was thinking this to myself just the other day at DD (8 months) has actually recently started to feed to sleep (bottle) as we’ve got lazy. Bit what’s wrong with taking a drink to bed tbh? I do, my husband does, my 2 older kids do. No biggie imo.

@EternalSunshine19 ask your dentist for a copy of the study that shows extended bf/feeding to sleep damages teeth - unless something has changed in the last couple of years then it doesn't exist.

Both my older DC bf to sleep past 2yrs old. One has perfect teeth, the other doesn't (probably because they were a pita about having their teeth brushed).

Aged 2.

Read books about it. Talked about it. Told her we were going to start, then rocked and cuddled and sang to sleep instead. Initially she cried a bit and she needed quite vigourous rocking. After a few nights she sort of cottoned on to being rocked to sleep and started fighting that, so then I would just lie with her cuddling for about an hour till she fell asleep (I would pretend to fall asleep too). It probably took a couple of weeks for her to stop asking a lot to be fed to sleep and then several months before she stopped asking at all, but after a couple of weeks it was quite a half hearted request. It did help her sleep a bit better, as well. I also stopped feeding in the night at the same time.

One of the books is called Booby Moon and I made something up about milk going to the moon at night, which she accepted quite readily and still occasionally mentions how the moon is full of milk...

Basically at 2, I found it quite manageable but wouldn't try much before then unless LO seems really keen.

@JulianCasa if your DC has already dropped most of her feeds at 13m I wouldn't worry about it for now. She'll probably drop the last few before she gets to 2

Then your dentist is being ridiculous. How have we evolved / survived at all if feeding from the breast makes teeth rot. Formula is very new and in the past (and in many other cultures) children are fed for many many years. Some studies have even shown breast milk to be protective. Crack on.

@User0ne the dentist made me feel really bad about it. My friend said she was obviously some quack with an agenda but i've felt terrible ever since. I have perfect teeth, i'm 34 with no cavities or fillings and my mum said i breast fed until i was past 2. I've gone on the pill and drank sage tea to try to dry up my milk 😢

Tried to do it at least once a day from birth. More a case of seizing the opportunity than being consistent!

She dropped the last feed to sleep of her own accord at nine months.

Your dentist is a halfwit.

I sleep trained at 6 months and broke the feed to sleep habit. It was a b!tch. May or may not be easier with a toddler!

It's a pretty strong sleep association. The guide I used told me to replace it with a feed to soothe, but don't let him fall asleep. Once he's falling asleep without being latched, drop the feed completely.

Good luck!

Mine both stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime at about 8m. They fed back to sleep in the night until I night weaned at 11m. I continued to feed both until they were 3, but not actually feeding to sleep gave me freedom to miss bedtime when I had plans.

Thanks for this! No I don’t need to put anything in place now but I also have a very low tolerance for crying and am just really worried about getting nearer the time when I’d really like to stop and having to use harsher methods. I want this to be as gradual and gentle as it possibly can be, so felt like I needed to start to think about it, see what others did & what worked for them and maybe start tweaking our routine depending.

It’s so great to hear that people have experience of their child self weaning. I’d absolutely love it to be on my DC’s terms 🤞

Also, DC doesn’t feed to sleep on a bottle for my husband. DH does a bottle then rock, then often puts DC down awake!

Crazy how differently they behave when there are no boobs around! But maybe this is a good sign that they can do it?

Still going at 2 years 7 months (and am 40 weeks pregnant!) It's the only time I feed him now and he falls asleep within a minute or so so no need to stop imminently. Read books etc to stop the other feeds/ to night wean. And he will fall asleep if I'm out but still needs support to do so (rocking etc). Wouldn't work for everyone but works for us.

I feel like we did it on DD's terms but with help and nudges from us? So we didn't just assume she'd stop feeding to sleep at some point (I've got some relatives who insisted that four years at least of disturbed nights was to be expected with a baby!), we made sure she was capable of going to sleep without it from early on, so she wasn't dependent on it. We also separated the feed from the bedtime routine (moving it earlier so it wasn't the last part and so she had teeth brushed after feed once she had teeth). She breastfed to 3.5 years in the end, but the majority of that time wasn't feeding to sleep.

One great piece of advice I got from DD's Godparents who are a few years ahead of me in terms of parenting was to think in terms of what you want them to be able to do at x age, and therefore what you need to start putting in place now in order for that to happen. It's often just tiny tweaks or not starting a habit off that would make life difficult in the future.

I stopped at 16.5 months as I had terrible breastfeeding aversion and it was killing my mental health. We were only feeding to sleep and naps, he's a good eater and wasn't actually drinking much milk it was more for comfort. I ended up stopping completely one night and it was tough for a couple of nights but he took to it better than I could have imagined. Now goes to sleep with a cuddle/bum pats. And has even gone to sleep for Dad!!

We aren't night weaning/stopping feeding to sleep yet, but these articles are helping me prepare myself mentally. Planning to try from 18-20 months (ds is 16m) but also put it on hold if we need to for any reason.

www.georginadowden.com.au/single-post/how-to-gently-stop-breastfeeding-your-toddler-to-sleep

www.google.com/amp/s/kathrynstaggibclc.com/2018/11/02/gentle-night-weaning/amp/