Single parent with few friends

[amdro]

Like the title says, I'm a single parent with only a few friends who all have partners. I find holidays hard as friends are usually busy with their families and though there were vague "we'll have to meet up in the holidays" murmurs no one wants to commit to anything which I find frustrating and annoying. Dd is lonely as she only has me to play with, she gets clingy and it can feel a bit too intense with just the two of us. I'm low contact with my family.

We usually get out somewhere every day, even if it's only for a short walk to break up the day. The weather has been so wet lately that going for days out hasn't been an option. We've got another week left of the Christmas holidays and we're both fed up.

I can't help feeling annoyed with friends as they know how hard it is for us during holidays. I find it difficult to make friends so my social contacts are limited (I have some ND traits and am waiting for an assessment). There are no single parent groups in my area and even if there were I would find it hard joining them.

Anyone got any advice? I'm afraid my Dd is growing up lonely as I did.

I feel like this at Christmas, but not during any of the other holidays, so I know it’s a me issue and not my friends being thoughtless. I also know many of them have a rough time with their shit family members/in laws over this period, and I am thankful that I’m NC with my parents.

I have AuDHD/CPTSD so I find making new friends really hard. I also don’t do the school run because I work full time so the childminder does that.

My kids are 16/14/6. Eldest two see their Dad regularly, my youngest doesn’t because he was abusive and I left whilst pregnant. So she’s with me 24/7. She gets really bored and fed up when her sisters aren’t here - they also have busy social lives when not at their Dads!

I don’t really have any solutions but I’m in a similar boat.

How old is dd? What does she like?

Does she have friends she games with on-line? Does she do any classes at the weekend? Swimming? Martial arts? I take ds to Parkrun sometimes and he usually finds someone his age/speed to run with.

Can you plan some days out for the last week? I'm in the same situation and I took ds to London before Xmas - we did Carnaby St lights, Trafalgar Sq, London Eye, St Paul's, British Museum etc.

And we went clay shooting one morning.

Thanks for your reply @PopUpMoon Christmas is especially hard because it's all family get-togethers and it's just the two of us. I know Dd feels it as well and I do try to compensate for that by us doing things together. Middle of winter is harder than other times of the year.
I find myself resenting yet another Christmas feeling like this but not knowing how to change things. Dd doesn't have friends outside of school because I don't have friends. When she's older she may be able to widen her social circle but has some of my shyness so I'm afraid she'll find it hard too.

@MintJulia Dd is in Juniors. She does have some clubs she goes to but they stop for the holidays and she hasn't made friends in those that she sees outside of those clubs. I see other parents there and can pass the time of day but it doesn't go beyond that.
I've promised Dd an activity next week that she will enjoy and will look at some museums to visit (outdoor things will be hard as the weather forecast is awful).

I'm with you OP. I feel like this every day.
It's lonely not having anyone to share things with.

I've seen a few posts like this on here. It's sad that there are so many lonely people.

Not a single parent but we don't live near family and it get this. I've decided to start a tradition of hosting a get together with food at some point after Christmas Day. It's annoying that it's always got to be me that does it (everyone else has family they'd just spend time with otherwise) but it did mean we saw some friends.

So true. And it's so different being a single parent, a non-single parent just cannot contemplate.

I've tried a few apps like Peanut but I try to only connect with other single parents.

Everyone notices the elderly as being lonely but we are the forgotten ones.

It's a tricky time of year, I would second the suggestion for online games with friends for your Dd that can help a lot to ease the social isolation. Also maybe a pet if that's an option? A furry friend ideally a rescue dog or cat can be a great for an only child and for the single parent (has been for us at least) though of course it's more work too. We played quite a lot of board games there are some pretty cool ones these days we also did some baking together which was fun. Failing that netflix for example en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Inbestigators and films can get you through those tough couple of days. Like one of the other posters said those with more family input are not always actually having a great time at Christmas but I understand that it can be lonely when everyone else seems to be tied up! It was for me too.