Friend not paying attention to my DC

[ChihuahuaFace]

During my maternity leave, I made a decent 'mum friend' and our daughters are now 4 years old.

The last few times we've met, though, I've noticed something, and now that I think about it, she never talks or pays attention to my DC in general.

We frequently go on kid-friendly outings, participate in events, and celebrate together and the girls keep each other company.

I always make a big deal out of greeting her daughter and talking to her like you would any child, and lately I've been thinking... She never speaks to my DC.

She has not spoken to my kid in the last three or four times we have met.

Is this actually bizarre? She's a good enough friend, and we frequently communicate and stay in touch, but now I realise how odd this is.

Yes it’s very bizarre. I wouldn’t have my child of a similar age being ignored by a “friend” like this.

It is disrespectful imo. Bin her

Yes weird! IMO when you know a child from birth and see them regularly you can’t help but have a lot of affection for and interest in them, even if said kid is a bell end, which I’m sure yours isn’t. Also you must talk about the kids a fair bit? As they are right there and you have young children which is a dominating force in your life right now? Does she engage in conversation about your child? If you need to go for a wee or get a coffee will she watch her?

I don't know how I've just noticed.

I guess in the past we always followed the girls and make sure they are playing nicely and safe. Then just spoke to each other?

Now that they are more vocal I guess I have realised she never speaks to my daughter at all.

And obviously she can hold a conversation now...

Also you must talk about the kids a fair bit? As they are right there and you have young children which is a dominating force in your life right now? Does she engage in conversation about your child? If you need to go for a wee or get a coffee will she watch her?

Yes we talk about them regularly, give each other advice for example and talk on WhatsApp about the girls.

She will engage in conversation with me but just not speak to her when she's there. We were out on Christmas Eve and that's when I realised she just never speaks to her.

At the risk of being flamed maybe she wants to be your friend but isn't enamoured by your child.
I find it difficult to take to other peoples's kids. I'm never rude but I wouldn't go out of my way to chat to them. I much prefer adults and animals.

I don't think it's that bizarre. Maybe she feels self conscious to talk child talk Infront of you. She might chat away to her when you are out of sight just because of a confidence thing.

Well it’s definitely unusual but I guess if she’s not being unkind and you feel your daughter is basically safe with her then it’s not a huge problem….. but now you’ve noticed it it will probably bug you and niggle you. Next time you see them get your daughter to speak to her…. “Show auntie Bitch your lovely new shoes” or whatever and see if the
reaction is OK. If she’s actively unkind or dismissive I’d have to drop the friendship I think.

I find it difficult to take to other peoples's kids. I'm never rude but I wouldn't go out of my way to chat to them. I much prefer adults and animals.

I do understand this as I was this personal in the past, however with kids you have to put on a bit of a show and pay interest in them a little don't you? It's just what people do.

I'm sure your DD is lovely but could she possibly think she's overbearing/badly behaved etc etc? Still weird though

I'm sure your DD is lovely but could she possibly think she's overbearing/badly behaved etc etc? Still weird though

I'd presume she wouldn't be coming to places with us if she felt that way... she invites us to things.

This... No I don't actually see the problem.

I love my wife, not too fussed about her parents. I love my best friend, not too fussed about his friends. I have friends with kids, couldn't care less about the kids!

Your relationship is with the person, and you shouldn't feel oressured to like their extended circles.

I can relate to this. Personally, I struggle in social situations but can mask very well with adult and I’m confident most people would never know how I feel inside. For some reason, I just can’t mask with children, I clam up and can’t think of anything to say. So I just tend not to. It’s not personal.