Leaving baby to cry? Please help

[Cruinglo]

Not intentionally. I’m on my own.

I will usually wait for them to drop off before I cook or clean or shower etc. But sometimes they will be lying in their cot awake looking about the place and I will go off and hoover or put a wash on and they will suddenly cry. Sometimes I literally can’t get there for 2 mins or 5 depending what I’m doing and he will either have fallen asleep by the time I get there or I will get there and soothe him.

I try to limit this obviously but it’s impossible for it to never happen. I am feeling horrendously guilty about it but I actually couldn’t even run him a bath for example without leaving him for 5 mins and at which point it’s possible he may cry. Other times if hoovering for instance I will switch it off again and he’s crying and I don’t know if that’s been 1 minute or 10.

is this ok? Am I damaging him? Worried.

I absolutely couldn’t leave a tiny baby crying for 10 mins, no. I doubt anyone would advocate that.

Don’t buy Dr Michel Cohen’s book (super famous paediatrician from NY), you’d be appalled! CIO at 8 weeks before they learn to be soothed 😬

I totally understand why you don't let tiny babies cry @Blanketwars but what do you do in the car? I was driving home from town the other day after registering DD and she was crying (2 weeks old) and it was so distressing to hear but I was driving! She cried for about 10-15 mins, will that have damaged her? What am I supposed to do in future when I drive?

I don’t think a one off or it happening every now and then makes any difference. As PP’a have said it’s unavoidable sometimes especially if you have more than one. And I don’t think the OP should worry about what’s happened so far. It’s if it’s sustained and regular there’s a problem I think

It's not the end of the world. Mine would have to cry for a minute if I was on the toilet or dealing with cooking.

It's life - it doesn't harm them to cry for a few mins while you're busy with other things. I don't even think it's particularly harmful to leave them for 5-10 mins to see if they self settle, though sleep training is not something I have done personally.

It sounds like you're doing great OP, don't worry :)

At 5.5 weeks? Really?!

Get yourself a sling and take them around with you, obviously unless it's a shower etc. they'll be cuddled up close and fall asleep in there. They're not expensive at all, likely you could find one on Facebook marketplace for £5-10

Omg @OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide ! I not only left my baby to have a shower (granted in the adjoining bedroom) but - clutch your pearls - my babies slept in their own rooms ON A DIFFERENT FLOOR to ours from the first day! As did me and my siblings and so on.
I had a monitor and followed the guidance about sleeping on their backs etc.
keeping them in the room with you for the first six months was not a recommendation when I had mine, but it's ridiculous to think you can't leave your baby for a minute (or ten or 60). What are you doing when they are napping? Sitting there watching? No, you are putting on the laundry/going to the toilet/making a snack.
OP, as long as your baby is in a secure place and you can hear him then it's fine - you will recognise the difference between 'I'm cranky but trying to fall asleep' and 'I'm starving' and 'My nappy is full' and 'help me the cot has collapsed' and can assess the urgency.

I'm not suggesting CC at 5 weeks FFS I was making a generalisation.

Well, it hasn’t been advised for at least 34 years, so maybe get with the programme. My mum was put to sleep in a drawer for 6 months and my grandad smoked 60 a day including with her in his arms but that’s not common practice nowadays.

Clearly our ancient ancestors kept enough of us close to them for the human race to survive without being eaten by sabre toothed tigers, but I’m not sure I’d be extrapolating that leaving them alone for an hour or sleeping on a separate floor would be safe in all circumstances. Hence it isn’t advised. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Totally agree.

There is no way that any of these posters have totally managed to avoid a baby crying at some stage for their parents attention. Have you never had a bowel movement at the wrong time… Had to help a toddler wipe their arse, met some other basic needs? C‘mon, it’s unavoidable don’t pretend it isn’t and set women impossible standards that they’re doomed to fail.

5.5 weeks they shouldn’t be left to cry intentionally - it’s also a big SIDS risk having them asleep in another room, they need you to regulate breathing. I took mine where I went, so bouncy chair in the shower, crib in the living room. From 6 months I’d leave for an hour or 2 in the bedroom with monitor on.

a sling is great too for keeping hands free while doing jobs

heres the stats on room sharing -

A large study looking at SIDS cases in 20 locations across Europe estimated that 36% of SIDS deaths could have been prevented if the baby had slept in a cot in the same room as the parents.

link www.basisonline.org.uk/room-sharing/

You can sometimes get monitors free through free cycle or FB.