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Parenting

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Am I in the wrong

14 replies

Stevie18039 · 28/12/2022 11:03

I am so confused 2 weeks ago me and my mum fell out, she takes my youngest daughter to school I pay her every month she had told me the day before to bring to tights I had forgotten them she actually wasn’t to bad about it I beat myself up as it was cold, I explained to her I had so much to do in my daily routine that sometimes I feel like I am sinking her response was so does everyone, and I responded with you don’t with that I could tell she was furious, she always say’s thing to me like your unorganised and this and that she regularly put me down, my mum has never worked when my dad left us she become abusive she would say terrible thing’s about me and my sibling to anyone who would listen, she never cleaned the house ever I could never bring friends home. I never use this against her or mentioned it the way I see it she did her best and who am into judge I wasn’t in her predicament, now I on the other hand I hold down a full time job have 2 children the oldest is a teenager and the youngest is autistic so you can imagine quite difficult and I clean my house, so back to the situation I came to collect my daughter after work and my mum was really rude and moody to the point I had no other option but to confront the situation so I asked her why are you being so rude she started screaming in my face because you horrible am this am that I couldn’t hear half of what she was saying she had gone bright red and screaming terrible things about me, I didn’t raise my voice at first and said am not horrible you are and all you do this scream how terrible me and my sibling are ( by the way my mum lives with my stepdad he pays for everything the home they own is all his she has never contributed to the house she smokes drugs everyday and drink a bottle of wine and plays online gambling) with that I said I no longer want to talk to you she the screamed back yeh get fuck of out my house and I am not taking your fucking kids to school, this left me in a terrible situation I had to contact work drop hours until I could find alternative childcare break my autistic daughter out of her routine, this was all 2 weeks before Christmas so I had to find the initial set up charge for a month childcare with was around £400, so with that we have not spoke since as she wants apology from me? My family (obvs my mum was now not coming)was supposed to come Boxing Day I couldn’t really afford it but I got food anyway on the actual day they rang me and said we are not coming we don’t want to get involved we seen your kids yesterday at your mums (I allowed them over on Christmas) so basically what I am asking is am I in the Wong?

OP posts:
upfucked · 28/12/2022 11:05

If she is so bad why did you leave your child with her?

BreviloquentBastard · 28/12/2022 11:15

Why are you leaving your child unsupervised with an abusive alcoholic druggie?

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 28/12/2022 11:18

Keep your dd away. Or risk ss taking her away. Use breakfast club /asc /childminder and claim child care costs off the gvt if you can.

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Stevie18039 · 28/12/2022 11:30

She never drinks or smokes around my children it’s of a night when we I have collected them, she loves my children it’s more me and sibling she does not like

OP posts:
BlastedPimples · 28/12/2022 11:37

You and your dcs are a package.

I wouldn't let anyone near them who clearly has no respect for their parent.

She shouldn't have access to your dcs.

AelinAshriver · 28/12/2022 11:46

LTB

Madeyoulook · 28/12/2022 11:50

If she is drinking and using drugs every night like you say, she will still be in no fit state the next morning to be looking after your children. I don’t know why you let her do childcare anyway as she was a horrible parent to you.

Stevie18039 · 28/12/2022 12:10

My teenager loves my mum she is really good with my kids she loves them you can see that, she drinks one bottle of wine she doesn’t drink until she passes out and smokes not massive amount but still I always believed that it would be ok as she never done any oh these things around my children, she did smoke if front of me and my sibling when we was little but I had strict rules for my children it’s never to be around them, she was abusive after my dad left verbally abusive for about 2 years which was along time ago? She says things to us not all the time but once a week she has a go at us we are unorganised we should be doing this and that, I have found alternative childcare breakfast and after school clubs my kids will no longer be around my mum, I love my children and would never put them in harms way , they are loved looked after and both really lovely children I am very proud of them I asked for advice and feel I was not given a answer other than I am a terrible mum for leaving my kids with her, I would never leave my children if I thought she would abuse them not a chance she loves them I have never said she was ever horrible to them

OP posts:
ScatteredMama82 · 28/12/2022 12:16

Your children should not be with that woman, what are you doing letting her have them??

catandcoffee · 28/12/2022 12:22

Maybe she wanted a way out of taking your child to School..... this was her way of doing it.

piedbeauty · 28/12/2022 12:57

upfucked · 28/12/2022 11:05

If she is so bad why did you leave your child with her?

This.

Stevie18039 · 28/12/2022 13:12

Because she has never been horrible to children ever and they love her she loves them I only ever said she was horrible to me and my sibling

OP posts:
Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 28/12/2022 14:30

But you are her child. And she is horrible to you. .
Your dc are an extension of you. Give her unsupervised access and time and you will see yet again what she is capable of..
Protect your dc from her or you are failing your dc like your dm failed you.
I am nc with my dm and no fucking way does she see my dc.

Stevie18039 · 28/12/2022 14:50

To be honest I have lived like that all my life I thought is was normal it was only when I met my partner who is so nice and has a very loving family I realised actually that really isn’t normal behaviour, I don’t think she has ever gave us a kiss and hug maybe when we was baby’s but I can’t remember that she has never harmed by kids or drank or smoked around then but I think I have had a eye opener reading the comments and I really shouldn’t have my kids around her unless my step dad is present he is really nice, I have arranged alternative childcare breakfast club and after school club just the school holidays that are going to be tricky

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