I've lost my sparkle

[Lialla]

I gave birth 4 months ago to my BEAUTIFUL baby girl who I am absolutely and completely besotted with.

But since I feel a little ........ frumpy?

I used to LOVE getting dressed up and feeling hot and sexy and was so confident in front of my partner...

Now... I really don't. Me and partner have only had sex twice since the birth. Im self conscious of my BF boobs, my pelvic floor weakness makes sex feel, erm... risky? 👀 and I feel I've forgotten how to turn my 'sexy' on.

I don't really have any desire to go out and get dressed up I just want to stay at home and be a mummy.

Im so happy, the happiest I've ever been but I am aware that I have really let that sparkly side of me slip ....

It's important to me that I maintain a happy, loving relationship with a spark.

Any advice- did you feel like this?

should I push myself to re discover that sexy side of me...? If so, how?

You have the whole of the rest of your life to get back to that side of yourself, if you ever want to. If you're happy now, I wouldn't give it another thought.

4 months is nothing op. Give yourself time.

Your baby is 4 months old, you are breastfeeding… no one ‘sparkles’ so soon after birth.
Give yourself a break.

At 4 months, your baby is still very much a part of you. Give yourself time. Weaning is great as it'll reduce the need to BF so much.

Do pelvic floor exercises, try pilates, take baby out for brisk walks. I find getting into fitness helped bring my sexy back.

Honestly, it's really early days. Your breasts will change sometime after breast feeding. Mine were amazing during breastfeeding, two deflated balloons soon after I stopped, then months after that, they'd regained fullness. You'll feel more yourself again soon. Just give it time (and look after your pelvic floor!).

It is hard, and personally 13 months later I’m finally reintroducing things. But the way I’m doing it is little things where I can: hair mask in the shower, nice (granny) pants with a bit of lace, a bit of make up and recently as DS is able to play more independently taking time on my eye make up because that makes me happy, comfy clothes that make me feel a bit more put together even if they’re all elasticated, music that gives me a spring in my step while doing mundane things.

Taking 5 seconds to slap on some body lotion can weirdly make a difference 😁

But it is more a state of mind imo so whatever used to be work try fitting it in where you can.

Hope you feel more sparkly soon x

It's only been 4 months!! Definitely in the first 6 weeks at least your body is recovering from a trauma.

After a year I stopped breastfeeding and had pretty much recovered my previous weight, and I'm starting to feel more like myself again. Leave the dress ups for now - you have the much more important job of being the most important person in the world to that tiny baby. But this is a temporary stage, so enjoy it while it lasts and know that you'll get to dress up again in the future!